My fears creep up. My fears unspoken. My fears unbeknownst to anyone but myself. I will not give in. I will not flee. I cannot. I give myself no option. C'est la vie ( Read more... )

It seems as if my motivation to write in my journal has left me. Over the months many times I have thought, 'I should write this in my journal'. I sit at this wretched computer for hours a night, but I cannot bring myself to write my thoughts, maybe I dont want to see them ( Read more... )

I am sick...how I wish it was limited to a physical sickness...but it goes beyond that...on top of being physically sick, I am mentally sick, emotionally sick...I am just so tired...I am so tired...I want to leave this place....I am so freakin tired of what I deal with....so many different levels things come out me...and they come at me to no end ( Read more... )

So I'm just sitting here, about to begin some math homework, or so I hope...My sister and her husband should be arriving very soon..they are staying with us for a few nights. On next Monday they will be leaving for Germany they will be gone for 3 years....My grandmother and myself are waiting up to see them before we all go to sleep....As we were ( Read more... )

Another late night. Just bidding my time. Putting off what must be. Lying in bed with my thoughts to envelope me. The repetative failures will crash over me. Will I sink possibly lower than I feel now? Ah, but is this even possible? If I were to sink any lower, would I still exsist? I will find out. I do imagine I will wake in the morning, and the ( Read more... )

I abhor myself...this life is so hard...is it worth it ( Read more... )

I was peering in the the mirror the other day, just looking at what was reflected back to me. The sharpness of those words still cutting at me. The sting of my heart still searing. Everyone oblivious to the anguish contained behind my eyes. Then over my shoulder I see her. She stared intently into my eyes in the mirror. Then she just grasped my ( Read more... )

Is it supposed to get easier? or is it supposed to get harder?
the fight ensues

I'm not sure I'm going in the right direction ( Read more... )

Life can be so daunting...or the struggles therein ( Read more... )