Jesus Christ.. if those pills can make me feel this awful now I've stopped... what the hell were they actually doing to me. Well, I've done a ton of reading about them since stopping.. I guess while I was taking them, I was blissfully ignorant of what they did. Now I am fully aware, I'm glad I've quit ( Read more... )

It's 10:30 on Saturday morning as I begin the write this, and I'm so very happy to be here ( Read more... )

Whenever I look at myself in the mirror, my reflection says "welcome to the fucking menopause"

I went for a job interview yesterday ( Read more... )

I need a hug. I need a proper big hug because I'm tired and stressed and skint and I feel like I want to throw all my toys out of my pram and wail like a baby.

I just need a hug. To have someone close enough to be breathing on my skin, the warmth of another human being surrounding me.

I miss that.

Hmm.. yeah ( Read more... )

Tonight I went to the ballet.. it was incredible.

I cried in the car on the way home because it was just so amazing and there's nobody here to tell.

This is going to sound ridiculous and will probably make you, (my only reader) a bit cross... but 2 years and 7 months later.. I still fucking miss him!

I don't know if I'm sad or annoyed at myself.. I just wish I could stop.

I went back to work on Monday. By 10:30 my voice had left me again but I've resisted the temptation to take any more time off sick. I'm pleased to report that I can now, once again, hold a conversation without my voice resorting to a wheeze ( Read more... )

I went to see Hugh today. We wandered off campus to a small café and had lunch together. He seems OK but there's something not quite right.. Not entirely sure what he's not telling me but there was definitely something amiss ( Read more... )