Dear America ( Read more... )

Well my fellow Americans, we did it! My boss came through in the end and the republicans hold the White House for another four years ( Read more... )

My fellow Americans ( Read more... )

Dear Citizens,
I was released from the hospital today after having my gallbladder removed. It was scary times, but I should make a full recovery. When I find out who invented gallstone pancreatitis I'm gonna have them strung up by their knee caps and shot!

Thank you for sticking with me in these troubling times. Jesus saves.

Wow, it's been a while since I've updated this thing. A lot has been happening here in Washington...the upcoming elections, Jedi Knight: Knights of the Old Republic...etc. The election has forced old Dick to be out raising funds, thus cutting into our video gaming. Needless to say, I've been playing a lot of Solitaire. I'm getting pretty good at it ( Read more... )

Holy cow, I almost forgot to plug our new web addy over at the DOJ. Click here: http://www.lifeandliberty.gov/Read more... )

A lot of people want to know what we do all day long here in Washington. Well, here it is...me and Dick, hard at work.


( Read more... )

Hipsters, Goths
Circle I Limbo

Militant Vegans, PETA Members
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Tom Ridge, Al Sharpton
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Libertarians, Scientologists
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Gray Davis, Greens
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Democrats
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Bill Clinton
Circle VII ( Read more... )

My LiveJournal Sitcomjashcroft in the doctor's office (UPN, 4:30): jashcroft (John Cleese) accidentally throws away donald_rumsfeld (Elijah Wood)'s pocketwatch. Nearby, colinpowell (Andy Kaufman) overhears sos_usa (John Wayne) talking about Scientology. That same day, treeline (Kate Beckinsale) bakes 500 cookies for a bake sale, but ihategwb ( ( Read more... )

Greetings citizens. I spent the day in Salt Lake City today promoting the Patriot Act. Man, this town is pretty boring. I was all worried about those crazy Mormons trying to get to join their crazy church. I was only given three copies of the Book of Mormon which I promptly burned. Man, there's even one in my hotel room! It's insane out here! Thank ( Read more... )