Wow... it's been soooooo long since I posted on this dammed thing ( Read more... )

yeah more has happened ( Read more... )

so so much has happened since i last posted here some good things and some bad things i dont even know where to start it feels like my life at times is take the route to the worse side i have good days then i have had bad days ... god its almost been a year since my dad killed himself tomorrow will be i think ither four or five years since i found ( Read more... )

i am stuggling so so very much and this is why ( Read more... )

in the past year so much has happened to me i have lost so much and gained solittle but i think that that is the order of things just recently i have lost my dad he commited suicide i know that it wasnt ment to happen he did it of his own free will but it doesnt stop the pain at all of things and then three days ago alex husky and i broke off our ( Read more... )

i am so very upset yesterday i got the news that my dad might of killed himself he left a note and a message with his wife and nobody has heard form him are can find hime and that was ten days ago ( Read more... )

i was just reading my past entrys and i was stupid and a lot of the bit with ryan it still hurts and i relized i still feel the same way a bout love its just not for me and i finally found myself amist the constant darkness that i feel but know this i can never show the real person that i am that is the one real thing i have and letting that out ( Read more... )

im very lonley right now and on top of that i have a really bad cold i finally got my comp working after my sis crashed it its on safe mode ryan was over yesterday and we had alot of fun though he kepy biting me every time i poked him so i started biting him back and i pulled his leg hairs and theni ruined the eldest bokk on him that was funny cos ( Read more... )

i had this really bad dream last night and i woke up and felt like crying because it was about ryan ( Read more... )

ive decided to give up on love for me its just too painful i hate it because if i fall for some one i end up being with them and i get my heart broken all over again its just too much for me i just wanna live my life free of being tied down i really think that it is better this way ( Read more... )