i acutally got up this morning at 6am. I actually got on the 7:02am train to Penn. Now i am actually at Pearl Studios to audition for little shop in Northport. Crazy. There are now about 17 equity. I am #16 on the nonequity side. I really hope to b out by noon so i have time to get ready for dee's engagement party. I would like to shower and clean ( Read more... )

ok had momentary weakness and texted john. Just with a heart. He texted back with a smiley face. I should've ended it with that. I texted, how r u? He texted, same as usual :(. That made me feel better so texted, ok have a great weekend. He texted, enjoy yourself. Working non stop. I'll be in touch" ILL! Whatever. That was it. Pissed me off that 1 ( Read more... )

went karoaking last night w my sis and sis n law. It was .... Interesting. I had a great time. Funky crowd. I'm glad I went out ( Read more... )

so john responded to the mail i sent him. He texted me last night. "just got in. Glad to see you are trying to erase me from your memory". Then 20 minutes later, something about him not going to cause himself pain looking thru it once he realized what they were. He said that he will send me his stuff and he guarantees i'll look thru that. He said ( Read more... )

so I'm at mom's. Had a bad moment while visiting my sis at her job. These damn anxieties. I know from experience it will slowly go away but right now it sucks. I mailed everything John ever gave me including all pics to him yesterday. He should've gotten it today i had to get rid of it but didn't have the heart to throw it away. I figured let him ( Read more... )

Today was rough. Had a horrible convo w john resulting in me finally growing a set and telling him not to call me anymore. That was so hard. I had to get away. I packed up a bag and headed to Jersey and be with my mommy. It was the best decision. I'm sure I would still be a mess right now. I'm trying to gain some perspective and pick apart all the ( Read more... )

What a great day. Saw my whole family. More importantly my mom. I missed her so much. I hate that I can't see her as often since she moved to Jersey. Spoke to John VERY briefly. He hasn't even gone home yet. He's at his uncles since he has to get his key from his mom. I went to his place on Friday and cleaned up his mail and got him flowers and a ( Read more... )

Ok, now that unemployment is completely gone, I am completely screwed. I've been looking and there are potentials but then they end up being shit or I don't hear from them. I really need a job ASAP and it's only for hopefully 2 years. I have been thinking of going back to school. Not 100% yet cuz well, need a job first, but so far I'm into it. Just ( Read more... )

So I'm on my way home from a great day in NJ and my stomach couldn't of chosen a better time to start hurting. I already had to ask my brother to stop once after crying...literally in pain. I took tums and we have about 2 more hours in front of us since we are hitting all sorts of traffic. My eyes are starting to burn from being exhausted from ( Read more... )

Well, things have been really good. I started going to the gym yesterday and already feel good about that and determined to make this a daily thing. An hour a day. I can do that. I need to lose about 10 pounds before the summer. I have plenty of time to do that too. Things with John have improved immensly. We are better on our communication which ( Read more... )