i plan on waiting for D untill he stops talking to me. i love him with all my heart. but i hate how one day hell tell me he loves me and the next he says he cant say it. idk what to think about it how to feel. ik i love him and ik theres something about me he at least likes. just sucks knoing that he still loves his ex and honestly im going with ( Read more... )

so havent written on here in over a month maybe two. alots happened got the ring back from eva. losing josh gaining D. got a new tattoo ( Read more... )

for fuckiong real is he reallllly gone for 6months what the fuck am i going to do with myself i replasted and got drunk for ten days straight and its truly the only thing keeping me alive at this point im so empty and hallow idk what to do with myself ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh can i please just die like really i want to so bad. im usless now.

so talking to keith andhe tells me samis prego. thats fucking awsome my first love who is a close friend and wasnt over him tells me this shit. i hate my mother fucking life i hate him i hate so much right now

i hate not having a life i dont ever do shit. a commerical just came on that is totally reminding me of duke. i miss him so much im so scared im not going to have him in my life. idk i hate loving him and him nt knoing whatthe fuck he wants. ahhhhhhh. but cait love is coming to visit so yay!

he calld me at 2am and i didnt go bc i was half asleep... why does he keep callin and textin me he hasnt even given me a chance to realizewhats happened with us. idk what to do to him he just wants to get laid. thats all he wants me on the other hand am in love with him and i dont want to tell myself hes mine if hes kissin and having sex with some ( Read more... )

idk how to funcition with waiting to hear from him its like learning a new life and idk how to do that yet a fucking again! fuck man i want to win i thought i was going to win this time but idk what the fuck i thought that me and my made up worlds.... i calld it i said that it wasnt real and what happens this shit... what the fuck evr dude

went out with jossie last night got drunk fell a couple times talkd to duke passed out woke up and my room is trashed lol make up EVERYWHERE! hahaha must have been a crazy night lol finally got pizza drunk!!!! halloween is tom idk wht im doing. idk what to do think feel react about the duke thing... he said "i dont want these feelings" ( Read more... )

i like being fucked up it makes happy hahaha i just want to smoosh hahaha lol.i like not thinking about him all day every day i love hime but whatever im not going to let my ligfe revale around him anymore if its meant to be to it will be... HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

u kno im going to hate this soon i already hate it i love him and hes just never going to really be mine i kno it. but it kinda is idk a relief to not be waiting for him to call and tell me to come over. i hate feeling that way bc all i want is to see him but me not driving the car keeps me out of jail and trouble. but clearly id risk it like i ( Read more... )