Im not sure how band directly relates to anything about life, but i know it does. Going to all these college presentations lately has made me think a lot about what i want to do with the rest of my life. i know that if i choose to keep up with band, it will only break apart the family life ive wanted for a long time now. i know that if i keep up ( Read more... )

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i dont know what to expect. i know things are going to change dramatically over the summer. i feel like everyone is moving on and going somewhere and theyre all moving so fast. things are going too slow for me. i really want to catch up with everyone, but i know that will also take time. i feel rushed again, like i only have a little bit of time ( Read more... )

have you ever had that feeling that youve lost someone, but youre not sure who, or how? you know it was someone important, someone close. but you dont know who. so you start counting out everyone you know in order on you fingers. but you still cant seem to find who it is. you have that feeling in the back of your head, that someones gone. you feel ( Read more... )

im starting to think more about whats been bothering me, which isnt a lot, but its enough to make me sad. and i dont like to do that, because thinking about things, for me atleast, has never been enough to make anything better. i dont know whats up. i know somethings wrong, but i cant put my finger on what. i have something bottled up inside, but ( Read more... )

birthday tomorrow. ahh.

bands over. and go figure, im sick. really sick. i got home from davids and felt horrible. ick. and ontop of that im upset. over everything. this weekend was different. it was sad and happy. and thats what i love about band. not making finals was horrible. after all that work. everday, all that time we gave up. all the shit we all went through to ( Read more... )

so ive messed up, but i guess its okay, like usual, because not to many people really care for what i do in the first place. i care a lot about the relationship im in right now, i mean, its really nice, and i enjoy it, and being with him, and looking forward to things. and hes close, but its distant, and thats exactly how i like things, and such. ( Read more... )

nice job to the freshman that pulled their weight tonight as our class did when we were there. i cant believe we got grand champs tonight, it was amazing. we went from out director telling us to just go home and forget everything because we werent even good enough for 7th, to the best in show tonight, and thats a HUGE jump. i heard our guard didnt ( Read more... )

so went to the grace slick gallery last night, had some fun before hand, and after hand too. she was a real let down, but we managed a few photos before they told us no cameras. ive been thinking a lot about where i want to go from here. im not tied down to anyone, though i admit i would like to be. i would like to be with him again, or atleast let ( Read more... )