A year and a day...

[jerosejr]

It's now been a year and one day since my father passed over. I bawled like a four-yr-old when I was thinking about him last night.

Why do I still have this empty feeling whenever I think about him?

Why do I feel SO stuck in this...

Not really looking for comments - but they are welcome...

Comments

[initiatezathras]

Love love love.

[twistedcat]

*sigh*

yeah

grieving never really goes away. i'm not even sure it lessens; i think perhaps we just adapt to it over time.

btw, my teachers have always taught me that WHY is the most useless question we can in ask in most cases. it keeps us out of acceptance and there's never a really good answer; in fact, most of the time, it's a question that comes from the negative ego to keep us feeling broken.

you're not stuck, you're grieving, in your own way in your own time.

and, yeah, i have problems with this too. but it doesn't make it less true.

*hugs*

maybe it's time to tell stories about him?

[raenefall]

A year-and-a-day is not stuck.

It's an anniversary.

It's the first anniversary, which is really hard.

It's been a whole year of firsts. The first week. The first month. The first birthday, other holidays. Grief is usually fairly consistent - hard and strong - that whole first year.

Everyone grieves differently and - there are some fairly universal patterns. What you're describing is very normal. I say this as someone who has actually been trained in what "abnormal" grief looks like. And as someone who lost my own parents, 16 years ago, and remembers something about the process.

And, btw, even after 16 years, the anniversary still gets me.

Be kind to yourself.

[seshen]

You never really "get over" the death of a loved one. You just slowly learn to adapt.

It's OK to still be grieving. The first anniversary of a passing tends to be the hardest milestone.

[dee_s_king]

My daddy has been gone 12 years this past July 4th. I still cry. But this year was different because I can see a little bit of him in Deni. Ok alot of him is in Deni. I still miss him and when I think about him he pops in for a visit. I often over here Deni talking to him. But it still hurts.