So i tried to lay down for like thirty minutes or something like that. i realized it wasnt coming anytime soon...so i decided to get up and write down all the shit going on in my head ( Read more... )

Today was an OK day. i went to class. went to dinner with mom (i had lobster and steak), saw my sister, solved a case on my CSI game. and went to wal mart. i didnt have much time to think i guess. thats good sometimes. i've sort of settled into a routine. but i dont really talk to anyone except my parents. and my sister. and sometimes lacey.im ( Read more... )

So life has started to suck again because i have no friends around. not for lack of trying. I can definetly say i dont think there are any gay girls in my classes yet. but there is always tomorrow. i guess more than anything im just tired of feeling so alone. i have such a hard time trusting anyone to talk to them anymore...so this journal is ( Read more... )

i'm fallin into that darkness again. im not really sure how to work my way out. i have a feeling i never will.
2005 sucks so far
~marissa

Hmmm. the last few days have been good. friday night britt and i went to the club...and met some cool people. I ended up talking to this girl Ashley...she was kinda drunk at first but i think by the time we started talking she was more sober. I thought she was really nice...we kinda talked about some serious stuff. I'll admit it she was hot. lol. ( Read more... )

So...last night was a really rough night. but today...i'm determined to have a good day. Britt is coming home today so we are gonna go out tonight and tomorrow! whoohoo! i really hope i can have a good night...put things out of my mind...and just ahve fun for once. its been a really long time since i have been able to do that. I'm really sore from ( Read more... )

i ran about 4 miles...on my broken black and blue toe. i ran until i felt like i couldnt breathe...and then i ran some more...im exhausted yet i doubt ill ever find sleep. the only thing that seems to help is writing...but i truly dont know what to say anymore...i don't know what to do anymore. i want to know why you hate me. but i'm too afraid to ( Read more... )

So...i was having a pretty good day again...but this is usually around the time when it gets bad...when i've run out of things to do...things to talk about and good things to think about. i try so hard to just forget it...and pretend like im ok. im trying to do that because i know everyone is sick of hearing about it. im trying to keep it to myself ( Read more... )

i was having a really good day. and then...i started thinking. about how i rarely can go through the day without crying...about how i want to fall asleep with your arms around me again...about how i would give anything to go back and do things the right way. about how tomorrow you would be picking me up at the airport...and how maybe i would be ( Read more... )

So i went to my sisters last night. it was fun. we watched harold and kumar go to white castle...too bad i wasnt high then it woulda been really funny. we love that movie because its set in NJ and a lot of the stuff is only funny to people who have lived there. lol. that just made me sound like a snotty yankee. oh well. maybe i am. So my sister did ( Read more... )