tomorrow should be sorta fun. im going to wilmington cause i got asked to be an extra on the set of one tree hill. i get paid and they feed me good food. so at least ill make some money. and it will get my mind off of things i suppose. i've come to realize that i have to understand when im not wanted anymore. i've served my purpose...more than once ( Read more... )

Had an ok day. Really weird going through it without any contact with the people im used to talking to. But...if thats what they want. I have to give it to them. I still feel like im losing everything. but. i guess thats life. i guess i just didnt expect mine to be this way. But...i'll learn to make changes. fix the things i need to fix...and move ( Read more... )

yea so im sittin here waitin to go out...jammin to some rap...im in a rap mood. i think tessa, kristina and i I are gonna have some drinks before we hit the bowling alley. yep thats right bowling...then i think afterwards im gonna hit pearl...cause im not tryin to be like conceited or nothing but right now i look good. hehe. see if i could maybe ( Read more... )

so. i cant fucking do this anymore. this whole thing called life. it sucks. how did things get so bad? i should have known. i should have listened. to my head. instead of my fucking heart. i wish i could just turn it off. all the things that run through my head but i can't. i just can't. i think i can handle things. hearing things. i think i can ( Read more... )

lol..it says im a soft butch. thats fuckin great..dana is hot as hell tho


( Read more... )

i feel so incredibly lost. so unwanted.i dunno what else to say. i was gonna write more. but that the only thing i feel right now.

i wrote this. it prolly sucks. but. oh well. it helped ( Read more... )

eh. im having a rough coupla days. yesterday i was having a really good day and i felt really good about myself and then for some strange reason i had a panic attack. i dont really want to go into details. but i guess itwas a pretty bad one. I don't feel so good and i didnt really sleep so well last night. i dont really know how to fix the way ive ( Read more... )

ok so what happens next? im so confused. i wonder if im getting played...im not sure how to handle the way things are going right now. im not really sure what things mean to me..let alone what they mean to you. i dont know how to act...i don't know how to feel. all i know is how i dont want things to be fucked up again...i don't want to hurt that ( Read more... )