The stress of this week has been causing my mind to dig up thoughts and images so long buried. Yesterday, while I was trying to take a nap, I saw Sara. She was tied to the bed and that fucker, what was his name? James, I think. Was tattooing her with a needle and ash from a burned brown paper bag ( Read more... )

What is there to say? Ok. There is so very much to say. Let me put it this way instead, What is there to say that matters? Very little, maybe, and that is scary coming from me, a woman obsessed with the power of thought, turned language, turned action. So maybe the best I can do is try to record my own thoughts, to be personal in the face of ( Read more... )

I don't feel so great this morning. I am either having reactions to my birth control or I am terribly reactive to chili powder. Weird choice, I know, but it is indeed one or the other ( Read more... )

Long day. Already wrote about the funeral experience. After, we ran some errands. Why are there no decent bridal stores in this area? Then we met Suz and Duckboy for dinner and a movie. It was good to see them. More of a draw towards Duckboy as of late. It is like he is finally letting me in a bit. We saw Hedwig and The Angry Itch. Good ( Read more... )

Tired. We went to a funeral today. It was for Tom's mother. She died of Alzheimer's. They had a priest who sucked. He started off with a total tone of boredom and tried to make jokes. It was like he neither really understood or cared that he was at a funeral. the eulogy was by Tom but read by a woman from the Tampabay Alzheimer's Assoc. She ( Read more... )

Looked over this journal. For the record, I do have good days and good eating days, but those I share. This is the place to voice the other stuff, dark or unhappy. So, DON'T abaondon hope, all ye that enter here. It is not as it seems.

I am having some problems with body distortion. Maybe. Isn't that the whole problem with body distortion, the fact that we are never SURE if we are having it? Anyway, I feel large, like I am taking up space, but my weight is downish. I have not been eating all that well. Today it has been rather binge-like. I have felt it coming on, so I ( Read more... )

A woman in my class last night told me that what separate good poetry from great poetry is that the author reveals something about herself ( Read more... )

We are going like crazy. Our new business is really taking off; yesterday we got an account that is not just major in and of itself but will generate a huge business via the exposure. We have asked Princess to move down here from New York to help us. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, it would be good for her and good for the ( Read more... )

The last couple of days I have been unable to access my journal, and it has been driving me nuts!!!! The need to take a minute and just SAY has been so strong. Well, at least I am here now. Anyway, things have been good. My food has somewhat sucked. Sunday until Tuesday I ate trash. I am not sure what threw me off--other than beloved's ( Read more... )