Yesterday's angst, it turns out, was not about what I was eating. In actuality, I was projecting on my food to mask that I was nervous about going to see Sheila, the gestalt therapist. But I went and we talked; we talked for an hour and 40 minutes--whose ever heard of a therapist going over by 40 minutes? We talked about Mom, and I gave Sheila ( Read more... )

My head is spinning with my food issues today. For the last week or so, I have been eating well in terms of quantity but have been blowing it on quality. Last night I bit it on both accounts. I woke up today resolved to work on that, but after going to the grocery this morning I am feeling overwhelmed, like I am blowing it. I don't think I ( Read more... )

Oh the mood I woke up in this morning! It was hot and raging and grating! Why? No real idea; just feelings of overwhelmedness that internalizled in the night. But I do wonder, ponder, how I am going to do everything in the next 3 months that I am committed to doing. It would have been fine if it was JUST what I had committed to doing, but ( Read more... )

Well, the birfday (as beloved decided to call it) passed without incident. This is a maor accoplishment as, in general, terrible thigs happen on this day. But I actually woke up in a fairly decent mood, went to the gym, and then lunch with my friend Zeus. I told her about the problems between my beloved and I and she told me all about her recent ( Read more... )

Beloved has found this journal and is reading it; in fact, it is he who bought me this paid account. So am I now writing for him, writing so he knows how I feel. Do I still have an outlet here? Or will all my words be shaped by his eyes. How do I want to appear to him, anyway? Questions to ponder ( Read more... )

10 more minutes ( Read more... )

I am writing this journal on the encouragement of my sweet sister, the lovely Lady Oracle. A journal, like at least 1000 other things in my life, is one of those that I keep swearing that I am going to commit 10 minutes a day to. Like those 1000 other things, this never happens. Maybe, I reason, if it is right here in front of me, I will use it ( Read more... )