ive been updating this too often lately.

I can really only complain about being fat, ugly, lonely, and poor for so long before I just start to bore myself.

-jillian

maybe its just that I get attached too easily. and I guess that's why it hurts a little more sometimes.

I just want to not be shy. I want to go after what I want. I hate being me.

I hate saying this but I mean it so much... I want to be someone else.

-jillian

so, again. proven. being very aggressive is all it takes. so I wont ever have a boy because I can't throw myself at someone like that. I'm way too afraid of rejection.

I don't get it!

-jillian

it upset her and that makes me feel bad.

I can't help but think I did it a little to be vindictive and not to actually help.

-jillian

I want to finally kiss a boy before I turn 21.

-jillian

I mean. I'm allowed to be loved, right?

-jillian

ive never been in a situation where ive been around someone that flirts with everyone. ive also never been in a situation where someone flirts with someone I like. its weird ( Read more... )

I'm in over my head.

about everything.

-jillian

I'm not used to liking boys that other people also like so its throwing me off. I see how they act around him and fuck man I can never do that. I cant be flirty, I can't put myself out there like that. I cant THROW myself at someone like that. I am no where near cofident enough for that. I don't think I ever will be. and its making me feel crazy ( Read more... )

I just want to help her so badly. her husband is a fucking coward and a fucking faggot. I know confronting him would be wrong but I have never wanted to attack someone so badly in my life.

she doesn't deserve this.

fuck him.

-jillian