i feel like such a bad person. i have become very blaming and thus because of my last relationship, i am so scared of falling for someone or having them fall for me that i deliberately tried to make out with her friend to ruin any chance.

so i'm very happy today. i finally cleaned most of my room. we were given a mini refrigerator and we put it in my room, then we rearranged the wires to all my game and tv and movie stuff to put it in there. so now i have soda's in my room, very classy. And my room looks nice, so i'm happy today...go me

It just doesn't seem to get easier. it's been 4 fucking months and i still think about her as much as the day it happened and that's a whole lot. i'm just sad really, not really mad, but sad. i mean, i'm sad because i think about her a lot, even when i'm not looking at her or talking to her or talking about her and how i feel to people, i still ( Read more... )

I feel better. it may not last. then again, i'm not certain of that. I should buy more clothes

it still drives me crazy. I mean, do i want her because i can't have her, and if that's the reasoning, why haven't i decided to give up and leave. that would be the most obviously decision for someone who doesn't love someone, but i keep trying. i hate it. i want to give up, my brain says she'll never come back, but my heart keeps on feeling ( Read more... )

So, this have been going smoothly lately. I am absolutely done with my first full length script. It's Clarity in Retrospect, look out for it in theaters in the future. I'm also starting another thriller/suspense movie with a plot i've heard of but a twist people will enjoy. My love life hasn't been strangling me and i've been pretty not ( Read more... )

love...takes a lot of thought

today wasn't too bad. man i want to finish all my work. i'll probvably graduate in like...april. it rocks, but so much work it feels. soon i will finish

*shakes head*

I never thought that love would hurt this much. i've been through my share of relationships, and i may not want to be with her anymore, but no matter what i can't seem to stop loving her. god, i've done everything and she won't get out of my mind. sometimes i dread thinking about her more than anything but most of the time i wish i could turn ( Read more... )