Fic: Witness Protection 25/25 FINAL CHAPTER
I just couldn't wait any longer, so here it is!
Title: Witness Protection, part 25/25
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Characters/Ships: Ben/Leslie, Chris/Ann, Andy/April, Ben/Pawnee, ensemble
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 8,800
Summary: When corporate whistleblowers Ben Adams and Chris Robinson barely escape an attempt on their lives, they gladly accept the protection of the Federal Witness Protection program. What they don't count on is being sent to a city that feels more like something out of a movie or a sitcom than real life: Pawnee Indiana. An AU starting in "Master Plan."
Author's Notes:When I started this story I had no idea it would become such a big part of my life or of the Leslie/Ben community. The reception is has received has truly lifted and inspired me. I know I haven't always been great at replying to comments, but as a thank you for sticking with this story for so long I solemnly swear to personally respond to each and every comment left on this final chapter-even anonymous comments.
Just for fun, here are some little factoids about "Witness Protection." When I first started writing I thought I could finish it in 10-13 chapters (ha!). I posted the first chapter on October 20, 2011. That makes this story just 1 1/2 months younger than my youngest daughter, who can now speak in complete sentences and feed herself. At approximately 184,100 words it is undoubtedly the longest single piece of fiction that I've ever written. It's been a wonderful journey. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.
Finally, I'm posting this un-beta'd just because I'm so excited to be done and to share this with you all, so forgive any errors or minor inconsistencies. Love you all!
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24
Chris's heart beat a little faster as he stepped away from the departing cab and looked up at his condo.
There was his balcony, one of his bikes still perched against the bars. A pity his dad hadn't thought to cover it-it would have to be cleaned and tuned before it would be usable again. Even as those mundane thoughts passed through his mind, he felt somewhat in awe of how little seemed to have changed.
Two years had passed, yet here it was-tangible proof that his life was still waiting for him to take it up again.
He jogged up the stairs to his condo door and took a deep breath before sliding the key into his door lock and turning.
Everything looked just as he'd left it. Almost.
The small fountain on his entryway table had been turned off and the now-dry basin was coated in dust. His father had taken away most of his potted plants, but the few that remained were dead and withered in their pots. A thin layer of dust covered every shelf and surface.
Even so, it was home.
Chris lost himself in cleaning for the next few hours. He dusted and vacuumed and mopped, threw out the dead plants, and put all the bed and bath linens into the wash to freshen them up. Soon his condo smelled fresh and looked gleaming and new.
He sat down with a bottle of vitamin water and contemplated what to do next. He could run to the store to re-stock his fridge and pantry. He could call any of the dozens of friends who were eager to see him again. He could start tweaking his resume to prepare for the job hunt he'd have to start soon.
But first, he turned on his laptop and logged onto Facebook, Ann's words replaying in his mind. "Consider yourself pushed."
He clicked over to Kelsey's page and stared at the bright smile she wore in her profile picture. He hovered his mouse pointer over the message button, and then pulled back.
He shook his head and walked away from his computer. He stared into his empty fridge and paced his empty halls. He flopped down on his empty bed and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. What do you say to the love of your life after abandoning her for more than two years?
One thing was clear-you don't do it over computer messaging.
He needed to talk to her. Really talk.
Okay.
Chris contemplated his options. He remembered her old cell number, but chances were high she'd changed it when she moved to Boston. However, there was still a chance he'd reach her. And dialing that number would be less embarrassing than calling half a dozen of their mutual friends to find out her new number. He'd save that as a backup plan.
In either case, he'd better get started soon. If Ann Perkins kept her word (and he felt certain she would), embarrassing leading comments would soon start appearing on his Facebook wall.
The last thing he wanted was for Kelsey to figure out what was going on after seeing a few too many comments from Ann showing up in her newsfeed.
So there was no real choice. Time to dial that number. Time to be brave.
He took a deep breath and punched the number into his phone.
One ring. Two. Three.
"Hello?" Her voice was so familiar yet so surprising.
His heart started to race. He swallowed.
"Hello?" she said again.
"Hello. Hi, Kelsey. It's me-it's-"
"Chris?" A new tension entered her voice.
He drew in a shaky breath. "Yes. It's Chris."
He listened as she let out a slow breath before answer. "Wow. Wow. I-I'm glad you called."
"You are?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. Glad could mean so many things.
"I am," she said. "I've been wanting to get in contact with you, but I didn't want to do it over the internet, and I didn't know how else to reach you. I'm glad I didn't change my cell number when I moved."
There is was, again. That word. Glad.
"Yes," he said. "Me too." He opened his mouth to speak some more, but found himself at a loss for words. "I-I feel like there's so much to say, but I have no idea where to start," he confessed.
"I can relate," she said. "I've had two years to think about all the things I want to say to you, and the list is pretty long."
That didn't sound promising. Chris swallowed hard. "Well-maybe you could start at the top of your list and work your way down?"
"Okay," she said softly. Was that a touch of anxiety in her voice?
"Go on. Tell me exactly what you're thinking." He took a deep breath to brace himself.
"Okay," she said again. "I guess the thing at the top of my list is this: I managed to piece together the timeline of your-adventure-and I know you were already working with the FBI when you ended things between us. So tell me the truth, Chris. Why did you really break up with me?"
Chris closed his eyes and took a deep, shaking breath. He'd hoped to have a little time to build up to this confession, but it seemed he wouldn't have that luxury. He owed her truth. And she needed it now.
"Ending our relationship was one of the most painful choices of my life," he said. "But I felt like I had to. I knew that what I was doing with the FBI could get dangerous, and that it would complicate my life for years to come. I couldn't put you through that. I couldn't do that to you. So I ended things. And I've had more than two years to regret that choice."
He heard her catch a sharp breath before responding, "You should have told me the truth."
He tried to push down the lump in his throat. "Yes. I should have. It took me far too long to realize that, and by the time I did, it was too late. All I can do now is apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not believing you could handle the truth."
"Okay." Her voice shook with emotion. "Okay. Thank you. I-I guess I really needed to hear that. Thank you."
Chris felt a tear roll down his cheek and closed his eyes, gripping the phone a little tighter. "The thing is," he said, facing the whole truth for the first time, "while I did want to protect you, while I did want to keep you safe, I also think I was protecting myself. I didn't want to share the truth with you and have you tell me that it was too much for you to handle. I was afraid that you'd leave me. That I wouldn't be worth the trouble. So I convinced myself that I was being noble, and letting you go for your own good. I'm sorry."
"I get it. I really do. I probably would've done the same thing in your position. Everything always looks so much clearer once you've moved past it."
"That it does."
She sighed. "It's okay, Chris. I forgive you. I'm just glad you're finally safe. That's all I really wanted ever since I found out what was really going on. And now you're home, and you're safe, and, god, it's so good to hear your voice again." He thought he heard a trace of tears in the wavering of her voice.
"Yes. God, yes. I've missed you, Kelsey. More than I can say."
"I've missed you, too."
Chris drew in a deep, cleansing breath as he felt an old weight slipping from his shoulders. "I have literally a million things I want to talk about. I just hate having to do it over the phone. I wish I could see you. I wish we could have this talk in person."
"So come," said Kelsey.
Chris blinked in surprise. "Come?"
"I-well-if you want to. I have a guest room. You could stay, and I could take a personal day off work, and we could talk all we need to."
"That-that-" Chris's heart pounded in his chest. Could this really be happening? Could he really be getting the second chance that he'd all but given up on?
He glanced around his newly cleaned condo, taking in all the familiar pieces of art and books and furniture. The things he'd been so eager to return to. Yet none of them seemed to matter anymore.
He'd been without them for two years, and he could have gone on living without them. But there was one thing he couldn't go without any longer.
Boston was as good a place as any to start his future.
"-that sounds perfect," he finished. "I'll book the next flight this afternoon. If-if that's not too soon?"
Her happy laughter rang like a bell. "It's not too soon. As soon as you have the flight info text me, and I'll pick you up at the airport."
"Okay," he said, unable to repress his grin.
"Okay," she replied.
A mere five and a half hours later he stood in the baggage claim area of Logan airport, clutching the handle of his suitcase, scanning the milling crowd for her face. He turned to see if she'd come in from another direction, or perhaps-
"Chris! Chris Robinson!"
He swung back around, and there she was. Tall and lean, her skin gleaming and healthy, her teeth shining in a wide smile. His heart leapt in his chest. She was just as beautiful as on the day he'd said goodbye.
"Kelsey." Her name escaped from his lips like a sigh of relief, and he could feel tears of joy rising in his eyes, echoing the moisture he saw glistening in hers.
Without another thought he abandoned his suitcase and strode toward her to wrap his arms around her.
Her laughter filled his ears and she squeezed him back, holding like she never wanted to let go.
There was still a chance that this reunion would never go beyond rebuilding an old friendship. There was still a chance that what they once had couldn't be rekindled. But as he held her in his arms, Chris couldn't help but feel like he'd found his new beginning.
It felt like home.
~ ~ ~
Ben leaned into Leslie's shoulder, squeezing her thigh with his hand as she laughed at Don's latest over-the-top baby name suggestion, all the while trying to ignore the way his mom kept beaming at him.
"What?" said Don. "Appaloosa is still a better name than Satchel. Or Rumer. Seriously."
Leslie and Lisa both shook their heads vigorously, and Ben piped up, "No. It's not. Don't name my niece after a type of horse. Please?"
For the third night in a row they all sat together in his mom's family room after sharing a family dinner. It had been the best three days of Ben's life since leaving Pawnee. But tonight's gathering felt a little bittersweet. Though Leslie had taken two days off of work, tomorrow (Tuesday) she'd have to make the long drive back to Indiana to make it to work again Wednesday morning.
"Don't worry," said Lisa firmly. "My daughter will not be named after a type of horse. Or any type of animal for that matter. I'm actually leaning toward Madeline."
Ben grinned at the way Leslie's face lit up. He knew exactly where her mind was going-to a certain female secretary of state whose portrait hung in a position of prominence on her office wall.
"Madeline is a very good choice," he said. "I approve."
"Me too," said his mom. "Madeline-Maddy. So lovely"
Lisa raised an eyebrow at Don. "See?"
Don let out an exaggerated sigh and shook his head. "You just don't appreciate the art of creative naming."
The conversation continued to shift and flow for another hour, and Ben felt a growing need to stretch it as long as possible. He didn't want to have to think about Leslie leaving in the morning, but that knowledge buzzed as a constant background to the night.
At last Lisa pleaded exhaustion and she and Don said goodnight. Lisa gave Leslie a lingering goodbye hug while Leslie reiterated her promise to come out for the baby shower in two weeks. Once they were gone, his mom met Ben's eyes and smiled. "Well, I'll be turning in, too. I probably won't see you in the morning, Leslie. Let me say my goodbyes right now."
Leslie and his mom hugged, and Ben saw his mom whispering something in Leslie's ear and looked away, feeling like an eavesdropper. Somehow Leslie had captured the hearts of his entire family just as surely as she'd captured his, and he was still getting used to it.
After his mom had headed down to her room, he faced Leslie, taking both her hands in his and smiling down at her. "Well."
"Well," she said, smiling back up at him.
He took a deep breath, all his anxiety over her departure threatening to well up. "Well . . ."
"Do you wanna go back to my hotel?" she asked urgently, her grip on his hands tightening convulsively.
"Yes."
They barely made it through the door of her hotel room before they began shedding clothes. All he wanted was to feel her skin against his-warm and soft and eager. He wanted to make the most of every moment they still had together.
Later, after they were spent and exhausted, they lay curled around each other. Ben tried to feign sleep-he knew she needed her rest for the long drive. But he could tell after a while that her sleep was as feigned as his.
"I wish you could stay," he whispered, finally giving into his anxieties. He swallowed and held his breath, waiting for her reply.
She shifted her position so she could meet his eyes, and pushed his hair back from his face. "You could come back with me." The vulnerability in her voice was palpable.
He closed his eyes, remembering the faces of all the people who'd trusted him who he'd lied to-who he'd endangered. "I-I can't. I'm not ready."
"I know." She rested her forehead against his. "I know. They really do want you to come back, you know. They don't hold any of it against you-not now that they've had time to process."
Ben had a hard time believing that this was more than lip service her friends gave to Leslie to make her feel better. They couldn't really want him back. Not after how badly he'd fucked things up. "I don't know," he whispered.
"It's okay. But when you're ready, we'll all be waiting."
Eventually they must have fallen asleep, because the next thing Ben remembered was waking up to see Leslie pulling on her clothes. She smiled down at him. "Hey. It's time for me to go."
He squeezed his lips together and nodded, trying to ignore the growing ache in his chest.
Ben got up and helped her finish her packing and put her suitcase in her car for her. It was silly, but he wanted to do something to help her. Something to make him think that she might actually need him the way he needed her.
She drove him back to his mom's house and stepped out of the car to give him a last hug and kiss goodbye. Ben didn't want to let go. He didn't want to go back to that dark, empty place he'd been in before she came.
"It's going to fine," she muttered into his shoulder as he held her. "Just stick with your meds-make sure you don't miss a day. And keep up with weekly therapy. I know it'll help." He swallowed and nodded as she continued, "And let Doreen and Don and Lisa help you. They all love you so much. Don't shut them out-okay?"
"Okay, I promise," he whispered.
Leslie slowly peeled back from their embrace and met his eyes. "I'll call you when I stop for lunch. And again when I get home."
She shot him one last heartbreaking smile before she slipped back into the care. He tried to wave lightly as she pulled away, but he felt like the most important piece of his heart was driving away.
~ ~ ~
Leslie rehashed her whole visit with Ben over morning coffee with Ann first thing on Wednesday. It felt so good to have her best friend's arms around her, listening and understanding.
Ann nodded with certainty as Leslie finished her recap. "This is really good, Leslie. It's all going to work out."
Leslie squeezed her coffee cup a tighter. "Are you sure? I mean-he's taking some important steps, but he's still in such a fragile place-"
"Which he's never going to get out of if everyone keeps tip-toeing around him like he's a fragile little baby bird. He has the outside help he needs. Now he needs to start helping himself." Ann gave a firm nod.
"Yeah. Yep. I know you're right. And I know Dr. Nygard will say the same thing when I talk to him tomorrow. I just wish there was a way I could do more. Ben is still terrified of coming back here, but I know if he just came, he'd see that Pawnee can still be home to him." Leslie frowned.
"What you want is to control him-and everyone else-to make it all work out exactly like you want it to. He's not a 5K or a Harvest Festival. He's a human being. You need to accept that you can't control this. All you can do is help him and love him and encourage him. He has to do the rest himself."
Leslie blinked back the moisture rising in her eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of."
~ ~ ~
Leslie's three or four daily calls were what carried Ben through the next week. Yes, his second therapy session went well. And yes, the meds seemed to be stabilizing his moods and taming his anxiety and panic. But he wouldn't have remembered to keep leaning on his family-to keep sharing with them-if Leslie hadn't been prodding him.
The sixth morning after she left he woke up early. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror and frowned at what he saw there. Shaggy hair, a scraggly beard, and hollows under his eyes. He couldn't keep letting himself go like this. Not if he wanted to make himself worthy of all the trust and belief Leslie and his family kept showering on him.
It only took a little digging under the sink to find an old home-haircutting kit his mom had stashed down there. He used the scissors to trim the beard as close to his skin as he could, and then used the electric clippers to buzz it down to stubble. Finally he splashed his face with steamy hot tap water and lathered on some shaving cream. By the time he finished dragging the razor across his skin, he was starting recognize the man looking back at him.
He was still pale and gaunt, but he was Ben again.
After rinsing his face he went for a long walk, and even waved at the neighbors he recognized. By the time he got back to his mom's place he'd worked up a big appetite for breakfast. He noticed his mom beaming at him as he wolfed down a plate of eggs and toast.
"You look good," she said. "But you still need a haircut."
He smiled back. Now this was the mom he remembered-not the woman walking on glass around him every day.
"I can call my stylist and see if she has room for you, today," she offered.
Normally he'd just go down to Great Clips for a ten dollar cut. He wasn't fussy. But today, he'd indulge his mom. She wanted to help, and he needed to let her. "Sure." He nodded. "Go ahead and give her a call."
~ ~ ~
Leslie's heart skipped a beat when Ben opened Doreen's door looking like Ben again. She was back in town for Lisa's baby shower and another weekend visit, and he hadn't given her any clues over the phone that this was what she'd be getting.
Her jaw dropped. "Oh my god! You look so good!"
He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah? My mom sent me to her stylist. I think she did a pretty good job. So you like it?"
"I love it. You look so sexy right now."
He laughed, but she wasn't joking. She'd been fantasizing about seeing his bare face again for the past two weeks. She launched herself at his face and reveled in the smooth skin against her lips as they made out.
When she finally pulled back, Ben laughed again. "Wow. You really like it. I should have given her a bigger tip."
"Yes. And I'm so glad I didn't have to be the one to prod you about the beard-I know that men have very special relationships with their facial hair. But smooth is much nicer."
Ben grinned. "Well, I wasn't too attached to it."
"Good."
She had another wonderful weekend visiting with him and his family, and faced another wrenching ache in her chest when she had to drive her rental car back to the airport late Sunday night. She couldn't afford to take any more personal or sick days this year.
Ben had been in much better spirits this weekend. He really seemed to be improving. But he'd still declined her offer to come visit Pawnee. It hurt like hell to be going home to a place he might never be comfortable coming to again.
If she could just convince him to come-if she could show him the tree, and let all their friends show him how happy they'd be to have him back-she knew she could convince him to stay.
She knew she needed to be patient. To let him do it when he felt ready. But how long would it take? She wanted him in her life-her daily life-now. Not in two years.
She'd just have to keep trying. That was all she could ever do.
~ ~ ~
Three days after Leslie's second visit, Ben bought a car.
He'd been frustrated over the lack of a vehicle of his own for a few weeks now, but he'd had a hard time talking himself into using the money sitting in his old bank accounts. It still felt like blood money.
Dr. Houston shook her head when confessed the concern to her. "Ben," she'd said, "Everson may not have earned that money honestly-but you did. You worked hard. So hard that you uncovered the very evidence of wrong-doing that put a stop to his illegal practices. That money is yours. You have nothing to be ashamed of."
She'd suggested that he break the ice by treating himself to something nice. A car probably wasn't what she'd been thinking of, but after a day of waiting for his mom to get home so he could get a ride to the grocery store, he finally hit his breaking point. He wasn't a dependent child. He hadn't been for two decades. It was time to stop acting like one.
When he paid a cashier's check for the three-year old civic, he felt like a grown man for the first time since leaving Pawnee.
He sat behind the wheel of his new ride and cruised the town, windows down to let the wind rush over his face.
It felt pretty damn good.
~ ~ ~
"Okay-that does it for the official business today," said Leslie, closing her binder and look down the conference table at her wonderful colleagues and friends. "But before you go, I'd like to ask you all for a personal favor."
She took a deep breath as they all stared at her expectantly. Normally, she didn't want to use her official position to ask her personal help, but in this case she felt like they might be quicker to act if she spoke from her position of professional authority. They all seemed to drag their feet when she tried to prod them during their off-duty times.
"I was wondering if all of you could take a few minutes over the next week to reach out to Ben. He's doing a lot better, but he's still reluctant to come visit Pawnee after everything that happened here. I think it would help a lot to know that you're all thinking about him."
"Are you sure he wants to hear from us?" asked Donna. "I mean-you'd think he'd have come by now if he really wanted to see us again."
"Seriously," said Tom. "The mayor would've thrown him a parade two months ago. Now it's just old news."
Leslie sighed. She hadn't talked about Ben's struggles very much with her friends-other than Ann-because none of them knew just how deep his psychological scares ran, and she didn't know how to explain it.
"Look," she said, "Ben went through a lot of trauma here, and he's not completely over it yet. But the biggest reason he hasn't come is because he thinks no one will want him here. He thinks you'll all hold grudges against him for lying to you and putting you in mortal danger. But you're all over that, aren't you?" She winced as she finished, knowing that those probably weren't the right words for this particular occasion.
"Absolutely!" said Andy. "I'm totally over it. I think it would be awesome to see Ben again."
Leslie grinned. "See? Andy gets it. Come on, how about the rest of you?"
There was grumbling and mumbling, but also a lot of smiles as they all agreed it would be nice to see Ben again.
"Perfect! I took the liberty of making these cards with his new cell number and email, so you can all find a few minutes sometime this week to get in touch." Leslie handed around the cards and made sure everyone actually took one instead of tossing it in the trash.
She sighed as she sat back at her desk after the meeting. Well, she'd tried. Now she could only hope that a few of them followed through.
~ ~ ~
Ben stared at the rough draft of his resume, wondering how in the hell he was going to explain the recent two-plus year gap in his work history to any prospective employers. He didn't want to try to pass himself off as a crusading hero, but if he didn't he'd come across as a whistle-blowing toady to a pretty evil man.
Crap. This was going to be hard.
As he pondered the situation he heard his text-alert beep from his phone. Welcoming the distraction, he picked it up and raised his eyebrows in surprise. It was from Tom.
"Yo-nerd! What's up! Long time no see. Hey, I've been thinking about leaving the gov to start my own business. I thought a finance nerd like you might have some advice. Call me. -Tommy"
Ben smiled and let out a soft laugh. This was unexpected, but so utterly Tom to only contact him when he needed something. Still, it was nice to hear from him again. He'd have to call him later.
A few hours later, after mowing his mom's lawn, he noticed another text had come in. This one was from Donna. "Hey Ben, you used to read those Game of Thrones books, right? Have you been watching the show? You should be. Because that is some badass awesome shit. Watch it and we can talk about it sometime."
He hadn't thought that Donna would remember his reading choices, and it felt good to hear from her, but he had a feeling that something fishy was going on.
The next morning his suspicions were confirmed when, in short succession, he got a short email from April Ludgate saying: "Hey - loser - why haven't you come to see us yet?" followed by a phone call from none other than Andy.
"Ben! You answered! You're really alive!"
Ben quirked his smile and raised his eyebrows. "Uh-yeah? Was there seriously a question about that at this point?"
"Well, I thought maybe Leslie told us you were alive just to make us feel better, but that you were really dead and that your ghost was haunting our condo. Because it used to be your condo. Thanks for the great furniture, by the way."
"You're welcome," said Ben with growing incredulity. "But why would you think I was haunting your condo?"
"Oh, I kept hearing weird noises, and things would move when my back was turned. April told me it was just Orin's pet ferret, 'cause it escapes from its cage all the time. But I wasn't sure if she was right until just now when I talked to you. And now that I know you're not a ghost I have to talk to Orin about putting a better lock on the ferret cage."
Ben wasn't sure if he should start giving Andy some serious life advice or just laugh at his zest for life in spite of his intellectual shortcomings, but either way he couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear. "Glad to help you clear that up."
"Yeah. Thanks! And you totally need to come visit. I think you'll really like what we've done with the place. And I've got some new fighting moves to show you. I'm doing so good at the dojo that Don gave me a job teaching one of the kids' classes. So now I'm a shoe-shinist by day, martial arts expert by night. It's pretty sweet."
"That's awesome, Andy. I'm really glad you stuck with the classes and that they're paying off like this. I'm really happy for you." He was also happy that Andy's was the first non-Leslie voice from Pawnee that he'd heard. Andy had a way of making him relax that Ben felt certain wouldn't have happened with anyone else.
"Me too, man. And I'm serious about you coming to visit. You really need to."
Ben squeezed his lips together and thought for a moment. "Maybe I will. Maybe."
"Awesome. I can't wait to see you," said Andy.
Ben sighed. "Um-one question. Did Leslie put you up to this? Calling me, I mean?"
"Oh, yeah, totally."
"That's what I thought." Ben squeezed his eyes shut. She meant well. Really, she did. "Well, it was great hearing from you. I'll call you again sometime."
He didn't mention any of his contact with his old Pawnee friends to Leslie when she called later that day. He didn't want to give her reason to gloat or push. Ben needed a little more time to think about this.
The next day in his therapy session he explained the entire situation to Dr. Houston.
"I just feel like-if they were really my friends, why did they need Leslie to push them into getting in touch with me?" He shook his head, not sure if he was more frustrated at Leslie or at his other friends, or at himself.
"To be fair, you haven't exactly opened yourself up to contact," replied Dr. Houston in the tone she always used when she knew she was telling him something he already knew. "Even after you let Leslie back into your life, you haven't made any efforts to spread your new contact information or to let people know you were ready to talk again-have you?"
"No." Ben sighed and sank deeper into the heavily cushioned chair in her office. "I haven't. But they didn't ask Leslie for my number. She had to push it on them."
"So what?"
Ben scrunched up his forehead and met Dr. Houston's questioning gaze. "So what?" he echoed.
"Yes. So what? As soon as she gave them your number, they all started reaching out. They didn't balk. They didn't hesitate. They reached out."
"They just did it for Leslie," he muttered.
"Are you sure about that?" Dr. Houston arched an eyebrow at him.
Ben swallowed and stared down at his fidgeting hands in his lap. They hadn't sounded like they were repeating Leslie's same old arguments for visiting Pawnee. They'd all approached him with comments on the same sorts of things they'd talked about when he was still working with them every day. The same sorts of things they'd talked about when they were friends.
"No," he admitted. "Maybe-maybe they really were being friends."
Dr. Houston nodded slowly. "And maybe it's worth it to give them the benefit of the doubt?"
"Yeah. Maybe it is."
~ ~ ~
Leslie's heart leaped in her chest when Donna casually mentioned that she'd been texting about Game of Thrones with Ben. It leaped even higher when Andy mentioned he'd talked to Ben and that Ben had totally promised to maybe come visit. The next day Tom said he'd scheduled a phone appointment with Ben to get financial advice on his idea for starting a new multi-media entertainment conglomerate with Jean-Ralphio. That had been enough to leave a lump in her throat that she had wash down with a cup of chocolate-laden coffee.
When she talked to Ben after work that day she put on her best "super-casual" voice and said, "So I hear you're back in touch with a few of your old Pawnee friends."
"Yeah," he said. "We've been talking. It's-pretty cool. Pretty cool."
She still heard an edge of tension in his voice which made her wince. "Are you sure? It's not too much?"
"No. It's actually-pretty great. I'm starting to think maybe it's, uh, finally time to visit Pawnee."
Her throat felt tight again and she felt like her voice was croaking as she managed to respond, "That would be really great. When do you think you want to come?"
"Um-maybe I can make a long weekend of it next week and come out on Friday?"
Her heart swelled. It was everything she'd been waiting for. Please let this work. Please let him see how much Pawnee means to him. "That sounds perfect."
~ ~ ~
The days following Ben's commitment to visit Pawnee took on an increasingly surreal tone as he exchanged texts and short calls with once-familiar friends as if no time or lies had ever passed between them until, three days later, the most surreal thing of all happened.
He was summoned-there was no other way to describe it-to the office of the mayor of Partridge.
Ben felt his sweat start to lubricate his palms as he walked up the steps of city hall, and he had to wipe his hand on his pants before offering it to Mayor Stice.
All the furniture in the mayor's office had changed since his brief stint, but the wood-paneled walls and built in bookshelves were just the same as he remembered them. One of those shelves used to hold his collection of Star Wars action figures. He got the feeling from the current décor that Stice wouldn't have looked kindly on that particular display.
God, it was strange to be back.
His mom had warned him of the mayor's many attempts to throw a public ceremony to honor him, which she'd thankfully rebuffed. But when he was asked (told) to come to a private meeting, he'd figured it couldn't be too bad. He needed to learn to face his fears again, or so Dr. Houston kept telling him.
The meeting started off benign enough, with the mayor praising him on his courageous and honorable service and so on. Ben still didn't care for that kind of talk, but he bit his tongue and put up with it.
"I truly don't think a small plaque in an ice rink is enough reward for service of your magnitude," said Stice.
Ben forced a smile and dipped his head modestly. "Well, really, the knowledge that I've helped the lives of cancer patients everywhere is enough reward for me."
"Nonsense," Stice waved a dismissive hand. "Not only are you a hero-you're a damn smart one. I've done some looking into your background and resume. It's very impressive. Now, I'll let you in on a little secret. The town has run in on some hard times, financially. Not as bad as back in your day," Stice chuckled condescendingly and Ben wrinkled his nose in distaste, "but not terribly good, either. And as it happens, I've had to let our town comptroller go. He just wasn't up to the job. And when I was thinking about who had what it takes to work by my side to usher in a new era of fiscal stability for our great town, well, I couldn't think of anyone better than you." Stice grinned at him.
Ben raised his eyebrows, his jaw dropping a little. "Wait a minute-are you-offering me a job?"
"You bet I am." Stice waved a pointing finger in his face. "I want you for my new comptroller, and I'm determined to have you. Say the word, and we can get this thing started. I can get a press conference together to announce your appointment this very afternoon, if you're game."
Ben fidgeted and twisted in his chair, trying in vain to avoid the intense gaze of mayor Stice. "Um. Wow. That's-that's-that's very flattering. Um. I don't know quite what to say." The thought that the mayor seemed intent on using him to boost public morale regarding the current administration (there was no other plausible explanation) was enough of a bizarro alternate timeline for him to feel at a complete loss for words.
"Say you'll take the job." Stice leaned toward Ben, wearing a menacing grin with his gleaming too-white teeth.
"You know-I'm going to have to think about it. I-I'm not sure yet if this is the direction I want to take my life." He shifted to stand up.
"If it's the compensation you're worried about, stop. I'm prepared to make you a very competitive offer-"
Ben jumped to his feet. "How about you have the offer sent to my place once it's all written up, so I can take my time considering it. Okay? Thank you so much. I've got to run." He turned and scurried out of the office as fast as he could get away with, ignoring Stice's protests behind him. He was in no mood for those kind of hard-sell tactics, today. Especially not from someone as obviously sleazy as Stice.
He'd had enough of untrustworthy bosses. Never, ever again.
An almost equally surreal moment arrived late that afternoon when his phone rang and a Pawnee city offices phone number flashed on his caller i.d.
Ben answered immediately, wondering if Leslie had misplaced her cell. Instead, he found himself speaking to Paul Iaresco.
"Wow-Paul. How are you doing? How is your recovery going?" Ben managed to say after realizing who he was speaking to.
"Recovery has gone really well. I still get winded faster than I used to, but it's getting better. And I’m back to work and doing fine. Thanks for asking."
"Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I really need to apologize to you for leaving you high and dry like that. I shouldn't have committed to the job when the possibility existed that I'd have to leave in a hurry-"
"No apology necessary," said Paul, cutting him off. "You had a hell of a good reason for hiding the truth, and none of what happened in January was your fault. I never held it against you."
Ben smiled and sank into a comfortable chair. "Thank you. Really. You have no idea what that means to me."
"You're welcome. Anyway-the reason I'm calling is that I hear you may be coming back to Pawnee."
"Well, I am planning to visit in a few days."
"I'd like to have a talk with you when you're in town. You see, my doctor's been nagging me to get my work week back down to forty hours and I can barely keep on top of things working fifty or sixty. So I've just gained city council approval to bring on a permanent assistant city manager. And if you'd ever consider relocating to Pawnee for good, the job is yours, if you want it."
Ben's heart froze in his chest. Was this fate trying to send him a sign? Just a happy coincidence? Did it really matter? "Wow. Even after everything that happened, you'd really want me for the position?"
"I would. Frankly, you're over-qualified and I won't be able to pay you nearly what you're probably used to from your days in corporate accounting. But I have it on good authority that you're done with the corporate world and that you still feel very attached to Pawnee, and that if I don't offer you the job then I'm a damn fool."
Ben let out a hollow laugh. "Did Leslie say that?"
"No. Ron Swanson did. That's what he said to me just this morning when I asked him what he thought of you for the job."
Ben's voice caught in his throat. Of all his old Pawnee friends, he'd been most sure that Ron would be done with him after what happened to Leslie. And he'd thought his suspicions were confirmed when Ron was the only of his old crowd not to contact him, yet. "Ron really said that?"
"He sure did," said Paul. "And that's about as enthusiastic as Ron ever gets about anything, so I took it as a ringing endorsement."
"Wow. Yeah."
"Look, Ben, I know you probably need some time to think things over. Just drop by my office when you get into town and I'll make the time to talk over the full offer with you. You aren't the only name on my list of candidates, but you're right at the top. I'll give you a few weeks to think it through."
"Thanks. I really appreciate that. And I will think about. Hard."
"Good. I'll see you soon."
It took a few minutes for Ben's heart to stop racing after hanging up. This was too good to be true. Everything about Pawnee had been too good to be true right from the very start.
Could he really let himself believe again?
He tossed and turned late into the night as his mind spun with the thoughts that maybe he really could go back. Maybe he really could have a second shot at his happily ever after.
Yet another unexpected call came early the next morning-one Ben was happy to answer when the number flashed on his caller i.d..
"Chris! How's it going? How's Atlanta?" Somehow more than a month had passed since he last spoke to Chris. It had been far too long.
"Things are absolutely fantastic. And I'm sorry I haven't been checking in with you like I said I would. My life has truly been a whirlwind these past six weeks. But before I get started on all my news, please, tell me how you're doing?"
Ben smiled. "Better. A lot better. Things are going really well with Leslie, and the meds are working and therapy is helping. I've gotten back in touch with some of the old gang from Pawnee. I'm actually headed out to visit in two days."
"That is literally the best news I've had in days. I'm so happy for you!"
The enthusiasm in Chris's voice brought a chuckle rising in Ben's throat. God, it was good to hear from him again. "So what's all your news that you're so excited about?"
Chris took a deep breath before answering. "I'm moving to Boston!"
Ben nearly dropped his phone. The last he'd heard from his friend, he'd just finished up a very good visit with his ex, Kelsey, in Boston. But that had been over a month ago. "Wait-what?"
"Kelsey and I are moving in together. Isn't it fantastic?"
"Wow. Just-I didn't even know you two were officially back together."
"Well-we were dancing around it when I last called you. Trying to play it safe and slow. But when she came to see me in Atlanta again a week after our first visit, we just knew. We both knew that we'd put off our happiness for long enough, and what we wanted more than anything was to start building our lives and our future together. We've been popping back and forth between Boston and Atlanta ever since. I put my condo on the market last week, and we just had our offer accepted on a home together in Boston. Isn't it remarkable?" The joy and wonder in Chris's voice was overwhelming.
"Yes. It is. That's so awesome, man. I'm really, really happy for you. Let me know once you're all moved in and I'll come visit you."
"I would love that."
"I know."
"And I'm so glad that things are going well for you and Leslie. I was worried about you."
Ben's smile softened. The reminder of just how many people really care about him over the past couple of weeks had done more for his anxieties then the meds and the therapy combined. "Yeah. I really love her, and in spite of everything, she actually loves me back. It's-pretty remarkable, too. But this long distance is tough. I mean, we talk all the time and the visits have been pretty frequent, but it's hard."
"So what's stopping you from moving back to Indiana? I know how happy you were there."
"I was. I really was. I just-" Ben froze. He just what? Two weeks ago he would have been able to spout off a long list of excuses as to why he couldn't go back, but all those reasons had been evaporating one by one. "I don't know what's stopping me," he admitted. "Leslie wants me to come, my friends have forgiven me, and just yesterday Paul called to offer me a job. I really don't know what's stopping me."
"It sounds like the only thing stopping you is inertia," said Chris. "You don't really want to keep living in your mom's house in Partridge, do you?"
Ben loved his mom, and she'd done so much for him. But no-this place still wasn't home. The only place that had really felt like home in the past few years was Pawnee. "I don't."
"So get up and go. Just go. Stop thinking about it. Just move."
Ben shook his head and smiled as he remembered all the times over the past year he'd gotten that very same advice, yet he still needed to hear it. "Okay."
"Really? You're not just saying that?" Chris sounded understandably skeptical.
"Really. You're right. I need to stop waiting for my life to get started again. I need to get out there and make it happen."
"Yes! That's exactly what I was thinking when Kelsey and I decided to live together. We put our lives on hold for more than two years, Ben. Haven't we wasted enough time?"
"Yes," said Ben, his conviction growing every second. "We have."
~ ~ ~
Thursday afternoon Leslie stood in the center of the Parks Department staring pensively at the two banners Tom and Donna had made. Setting aside her concerns about font choice, it was the wording that really worried her.
One banner read: "Welcome back Ben!" The other read: "Welcome home Ben!"
That single word change made all the difference in the world, and she had no idea which one to hang up for his arrival tomorrow.
"Welcome home," said Andy. "Definitely welcome home. You know the dude's not leaving again once he gets here."
"I don't know," said Leslie. "His mind still isn't made up. There might be some things here in Pawnee that trigger his anxieties too much."
"I'm with Leslie," said Donna. "That boy was pretty messed up. We don't want to put too much pressure on him."
Leslie swallowed hard. She hated this. She hated having to stress over one tiny word.
Ron ambled up beside her. "Chose whichever one you like best. Ben won't mind either way."
Leslie frowned. "But what if-"
"What won't I mind?"
Leslie's jaw dropped and she spun on her heels to see Ben standing just inside the doors of the department, grinning from ear to ear, dressed like he was just showing up for another day at work.
"Oh my god!" she cried, racing toward him to throw her arms around him. "You're a day early! We were planning a party for you."
He squeezed her tight and laughed. "Sorry to ruin your plans. I got tired of waiting so I started driving out yesterday afternoon. I just pulled into town."
Leslie could hardly believe her ears. She pulled back from the hug and glared up at him. "You sneak! You didn't say anything when we talked last night or this morning."
"I wanted it to be a surprise," he said with a twinkle in his eyes that made him look more like himself than anything she'd seem from him over the past two months.
"Well, it is!"
And then the private reunion ended as their friends crowded around them, hugging Ben and welcoming him back.
A few tears slid down Leslie's cheeks as she watched his joyful grin while he embraced all his old friends. Maybe Andy was right. God, she hoped Andy was right.
She blotted away her tears before Ben turned back to her and took her hand. "How about we move that party to tonight? We can all get some dinner together at J.J.s and then grab some drinks after?"
He was answered by a chorus of voices in the affirmative.
"Then it's a plan," said Leslie, her heart pounding. "We'll head there right after work tonight."
"But right now," said Ben, his grin sending a thrill down her spine, "we're going to go get some coffee and catch up. I'll see you all a little later." He waved brightly and pulled Leslie after him into the corridor as a few teasing comments followed them.
Leslie smiled as he led her down to the break area, and when they found it unoccupied he promptly pulled her into a passionate kiss. Waves of warmth flowed through her whole body, and she felt like singing. Everything felt right again.
When the kiss finally broke they stood smiling giddily at each other for a moment. Leslie took a deep breath to clear her head. "Wow. I'm so, so happy that you're finally here."
"Me too," he said softly. "I waited too long. But I'm not waiting anymore." He smiled a little broader. "I'm about to head up to Paul's office to talk about a certain job offer he made me a few days ago."
Leslie felt like her eyebrows had shot right up to her hairline. "Wait-what? Are you serious?"
"Completely serious. I've never been more serious about anything in my life."
The world was spinning so fast that Leslie wasn't sure if she could stay on her feet if she let go of his hands.
"Welcome home," he said, holding her gaze with his eyes.
"What?"
"The banners. Use the one that says welcome home."
The End
A/N: Again, I can't thank you all enough for sticking with this crazy AU of mine. Please comment - even if you usually don't. I want to hear from each and every one of my readers, and I promise I'll reply to every single comment. Even anonymous comments. As an added bonus, you can also play "Ask me anything" in your comments. Ask me about this story, about my headcanons for this AU or what I think will happen in the future for these versions of the characters. Or you could ask me about my novel-writing career (such as it is), or my Thanksgiving recipes, or my past-present-or future experiences in fandom. Ask anything and I'll do my best to answer as my thank you to all my readers. Love you!
Title: Witness Protection, part 25/25
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Characters/Ships: Ben/Leslie, Chris/Ann, Andy/April, Ben/Pawnee, ensemble
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 8,800
Summary: When corporate whistleblowers Ben Adams and Chris Robinson barely escape an attempt on their lives, they gladly accept the protection of the Federal Witness Protection program. What they don't count on is being sent to a city that feels more like something out of a movie or a sitcom than real life: Pawnee Indiana. An AU starting in "Master Plan."
Author's Notes:When I started this story I had no idea it would become such a big part of my life or of the Leslie/Ben community. The reception is has received has truly lifted and inspired me. I know I haven't always been great at replying to comments, but as a thank you for sticking with this story for so long I solemnly swear to personally respond to each and every comment left on this final chapter-even anonymous comments.
Just for fun, here are some little factoids about "Witness Protection." When I first started writing I thought I could finish it in 10-13 chapters (ha!). I posted the first chapter on October 20, 2011. That makes this story just 1 1/2 months younger than my youngest daughter, who can now speak in complete sentences and feed herself. At approximately 184,100 words it is undoubtedly the longest single piece of fiction that I've ever written. It's been a wonderful journey. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.
Finally, I'm posting this un-beta'd just because I'm so excited to be done and to share this with you all, so forgive any errors or minor inconsistencies. Love you all!
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24
Chris's heart beat a little faster as he stepped away from the departing cab and looked up at his condo.
There was his balcony, one of his bikes still perched against the bars. A pity his dad hadn't thought to cover it-it would have to be cleaned and tuned before it would be usable again. Even as those mundane thoughts passed through his mind, he felt somewhat in awe of how little seemed to have changed.
Two years had passed, yet here it was-tangible proof that his life was still waiting for him to take it up again.
He jogged up the stairs to his condo door and took a deep breath before sliding the key into his door lock and turning.
Everything looked just as he'd left it. Almost.
The small fountain on his entryway table had been turned off and the now-dry basin was coated in dust. His father had taken away most of his potted plants, but the few that remained were dead and withered in their pots. A thin layer of dust covered every shelf and surface.
Even so, it was home.
Chris lost himself in cleaning for the next few hours. He dusted and vacuumed and mopped, threw out the dead plants, and put all the bed and bath linens into the wash to freshen them up. Soon his condo smelled fresh and looked gleaming and new.
He sat down with a bottle of vitamin water and contemplated what to do next. He could run to the store to re-stock his fridge and pantry. He could call any of the dozens of friends who were eager to see him again. He could start tweaking his resume to prepare for the job hunt he'd have to start soon.
But first, he turned on his laptop and logged onto Facebook, Ann's words replaying in his mind. "Consider yourself pushed."
He clicked over to Kelsey's page and stared at the bright smile she wore in her profile picture. He hovered his mouse pointer over the message button, and then pulled back.
He shook his head and walked away from his computer. He stared into his empty fridge and paced his empty halls. He flopped down on his empty bed and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. What do you say to the love of your life after abandoning her for more than two years?
One thing was clear-you don't do it over computer messaging.
He needed to talk to her. Really talk.
Okay.
Chris contemplated his options. He remembered her old cell number, but chances were high she'd changed it when she moved to Boston. However, there was still a chance he'd reach her. And dialing that number would be less embarrassing than calling half a dozen of their mutual friends to find out her new number. He'd save that as a backup plan.
In either case, he'd better get started soon. If Ann Perkins kept her word (and he felt certain she would), embarrassing leading comments would soon start appearing on his Facebook wall.
The last thing he wanted was for Kelsey to figure out what was going on after seeing a few too many comments from Ann showing up in her newsfeed.
So there was no real choice. Time to dial that number. Time to be brave.
He took a deep breath and punched the number into his phone.
One ring. Two. Three.
"Hello?" Her voice was so familiar yet so surprising.
His heart started to race. He swallowed.
"Hello?" she said again.
"Hello. Hi, Kelsey. It's me-it's-"
"Chris?" A new tension entered her voice.
He drew in a shaky breath. "Yes. It's Chris."
He listened as she let out a slow breath before answer. "Wow. Wow. I-I'm glad you called."
"You are?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. Glad could mean so many things.
"I am," she said. "I've been wanting to get in contact with you, but I didn't want to do it over the internet, and I didn't know how else to reach you. I'm glad I didn't change my cell number when I moved."
There is was, again. That word. Glad.
"Yes," he said. "Me too." He opened his mouth to speak some more, but found himself at a loss for words. "I-I feel like there's so much to say, but I have no idea where to start," he confessed.
"I can relate," she said. "I've had two years to think about all the things I want to say to you, and the list is pretty long."
That didn't sound promising. Chris swallowed hard. "Well-maybe you could start at the top of your list and work your way down?"
"Okay," she said softly. Was that a touch of anxiety in her voice?
"Go on. Tell me exactly what you're thinking." He took a deep breath to brace himself.
"Okay," she said again. "I guess the thing at the top of my list is this: I managed to piece together the timeline of your-adventure-and I know you were already working with the FBI when you ended things between us. So tell me the truth, Chris. Why did you really break up with me?"
Chris closed his eyes and took a deep, shaking breath. He'd hoped to have a little time to build up to this confession, but it seemed he wouldn't have that luxury. He owed her truth. And she needed it now.
"Ending our relationship was one of the most painful choices of my life," he said. "But I felt like I had to. I knew that what I was doing with the FBI could get dangerous, and that it would complicate my life for years to come. I couldn't put you through that. I couldn't do that to you. So I ended things. And I've had more than two years to regret that choice."
He heard her catch a sharp breath before responding, "You should have told me the truth."
He tried to push down the lump in his throat. "Yes. I should have. It took me far too long to realize that, and by the time I did, it was too late. All I can do now is apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not believing you could handle the truth."
"Okay." Her voice shook with emotion. "Okay. Thank you. I-I guess I really needed to hear that. Thank you."
Chris felt a tear roll down his cheek and closed his eyes, gripping the phone a little tighter. "The thing is," he said, facing the whole truth for the first time, "while I did want to protect you, while I did want to keep you safe, I also think I was protecting myself. I didn't want to share the truth with you and have you tell me that it was too much for you to handle. I was afraid that you'd leave me. That I wouldn't be worth the trouble. So I convinced myself that I was being noble, and letting you go for your own good. I'm sorry."
"I get it. I really do. I probably would've done the same thing in your position. Everything always looks so much clearer once you've moved past it."
"That it does."
She sighed. "It's okay, Chris. I forgive you. I'm just glad you're finally safe. That's all I really wanted ever since I found out what was really going on. And now you're home, and you're safe, and, god, it's so good to hear your voice again." He thought he heard a trace of tears in the wavering of her voice.
"Yes. God, yes. I've missed you, Kelsey. More than I can say."
"I've missed you, too."
Chris drew in a deep, cleansing breath as he felt an old weight slipping from his shoulders. "I have literally a million things I want to talk about. I just hate having to do it over the phone. I wish I could see you. I wish we could have this talk in person."
"So come," said Kelsey.
Chris blinked in surprise. "Come?"
"I-well-if you want to. I have a guest room. You could stay, and I could take a personal day off work, and we could talk all we need to."
"That-that-" Chris's heart pounded in his chest. Could this really be happening? Could he really be getting the second chance that he'd all but given up on?
He glanced around his newly cleaned condo, taking in all the familiar pieces of art and books and furniture. The things he'd been so eager to return to. Yet none of them seemed to matter anymore.
He'd been without them for two years, and he could have gone on living without them. But there was one thing he couldn't go without any longer.
Boston was as good a place as any to start his future.
"-that sounds perfect," he finished. "I'll book the next flight this afternoon. If-if that's not too soon?"
Her happy laughter rang like a bell. "It's not too soon. As soon as you have the flight info text me, and I'll pick you up at the airport."
"Okay," he said, unable to repress his grin.
"Okay," she replied.
A mere five and a half hours later he stood in the baggage claim area of Logan airport, clutching the handle of his suitcase, scanning the milling crowd for her face. He turned to see if she'd come in from another direction, or perhaps-
"Chris! Chris Robinson!"
He swung back around, and there she was. Tall and lean, her skin gleaming and healthy, her teeth shining in a wide smile. His heart leapt in his chest. She was just as beautiful as on the day he'd said goodbye.
"Kelsey." Her name escaped from his lips like a sigh of relief, and he could feel tears of joy rising in his eyes, echoing the moisture he saw glistening in hers.
Without another thought he abandoned his suitcase and strode toward her to wrap his arms around her.
Her laughter filled his ears and she squeezed him back, holding like she never wanted to let go.
There was still a chance that this reunion would never go beyond rebuilding an old friendship. There was still a chance that what they once had couldn't be rekindled. But as he held her in his arms, Chris couldn't help but feel like he'd found his new beginning.
It felt like home.
~ ~ ~
Ben leaned into Leslie's shoulder, squeezing her thigh with his hand as she laughed at Don's latest over-the-top baby name suggestion, all the while trying to ignore the way his mom kept beaming at him.
"What?" said Don. "Appaloosa is still a better name than Satchel. Or Rumer. Seriously."
Leslie and Lisa both shook their heads vigorously, and Ben piped up, "No. It's not. Don't name my niece after a type of horse. Please?"
For the third night in a row they all sat together in his mom's family room after sharing a family dinner. It had been the best three days of Ben's life since leaving Pawnee. But tonight's gathering felt a little bittersweet. Though Leslie had taken two days off of work, tomorrow (Tuesday) she'd have to make the long drive back to Indiana to make it to work again Wednesday morning.
"Don't worry," said Lisa firmly. "My daughter will not be named after a type of horse. Or any type of animal for that matter. I'm actually leaning toward Madeline."
Ben grinned at the way Leslie's face lit up. He knew exactly where her mind was going-to a certain female secretary of state whose portrait hung in a position of prominence on her office wall.
"Madeline is a very good choice," he said. "I approve."
"Me too," said his mom. "Madeline-Maddy. So lovely"
Lisa raised an eyebrow at Don. "See?"
Don let out an exaggerated sigh and shook his head. "You just don't appreciate the art of creative naming."
The conversation continued to shift and flow for another hour, and Ben felt a growing need to stretch it as long as possible. He didn't want to have to think about Leslie leaving in the morning, but that knowledge buzzed as a constant background to the night.
At last Lisa pleaded exhaustion and she and Don said goodnight. Lisa gave Leslie a lingering goodbye hug while Leslie reiterated her promise to come out for the baby shower in two weeks. Once they were gone, his mom met Ben's eyes and smiled. "Well, I'll be turning in, too. I probably won't see you in the morning, Leslie. Let me say my goodbyes right now."
Leslie and his mom hugged, and Ben saw his mom whispering something in Leslie's ear and looked away, feeling like an eavesdropper. Somehow Leslie had captured the hearts of his entire family just as surely as she'd captured his, and he was still getting used to it.
After his mom had headed down to her room, he faced Leslie, taking both her hands in his and smiling down at her. "Well."
"Well," she said, smiling back up at him.
He took a deep breath, all his anxiety over her departure threatening to well up. "Well . . ."
"Do you wanna go back to my hotel?" she asked urgently, her grip on his hands tightening convulsively.
"Yes."
They barely made it through the door of her hotel room before they began shedding clothes. All he wanted was to feel her skin against his-warm and soft and eager. He wanted to make the most of every moment they still had together.
Later, after they were spent and exhausted, they lay curled around each other. Ben tried to feign sleep-he knew she needed her rest for the long drive. But he could tell after a while that her sleep was as feigned as his.
"I wish you could stay," he whispered, finally giving into his anxieties. He swallowed and held his breath, waiting for her reply.
She shifted her position so she could meet his eyes, and pushed his hair back from his face. "You could come back with me." The vulnerability in her voice was palpable.
He closed his eyes, remembering the faces of all the people who'd trusted him who he'd lied to-who he'd endangered. "I-I can't. I'm not ready."
"I know." She rested her forehead against his. "I know. They really do want you to come back, you know. They don't hold any of it against you-not now that they've had time to process."
Ben had a hard time believing that this was more than lip service her friends gave to Leslie to make her feel better. They couldn't really want him back. Not after how badly he'd fucked things up. "I don't know," he whispered.
"It's okay. But when you're ready, we'll all be waiting."
Eventually they must have fallen asleep, because the next thing Ben remembered was waking up to see Leslie pulling on her clothes. She smiled down at him. "Hey. It's time for me to go."
He squeezed his lips together and nodded, trying to ignore the growing ache in his chest.
Ben got up and helped her finish her packing and put her suitcase in her car for her. It was silly, but he wanted to do something to help her. Something to make him think that she might actually need him the way he needed her.
She drove him back to his mom's house and stepped out of the car to give him a last hug and kiss goodbye. Ben didn't want to let go. He didn't want to go back to that dark, empty place he'd been in before she came.
"It's going to fine," she muttered into his shoulder as he held her. "Just stick with your meds-make sure you don't miss a day. And keep up with weekly therapy. I know it'll help." He swallowed and nodded as she continued, "And let Doreen and Don and Lisa help you. They all love you so much. Don't shut them out-okay?"
"Okay, I promise," he whispered.
Leslie slowly peeled back from their embrace and met his eyes. "I'll call you when I stop for lunch. And again when I get home."
She shot him one last heartbreaking smile before she slipped back into the care. He tried to wave lightly as she pulled away, but he felt like the most important piece of his heart was driving away.
~ ~ ~
Leslie rehashed her whole visit with Ben over morning coffee with Ann first thing on Wednesday. It felt so good to have her best friend's arms around her, listening and understanding.
Ann nodded with certainty as Leslie finished her recap. "This is really good, Leslie. It's all going to work out."
Leslie squeezed her coffee cup a tighter. "Are you sure? I mean-he's taking some important steps, but he's still in such a fragile place-"
"Which he's never going to get out of if everyone keeps tip-toeing around him like he's a fragile little baby bird. He has the outside help he needs. Now he needs to start helping himself." Ann gave a firm nod.
"Yeah. Yep. I know you're right. And I know Dr. Nygard will say the same thing when I talk to him tomorrow. I just wish there was a way I could do more. Ben is still terrified of coming back here, but I know if he just came, he'd see that Pawnee can still be home to him." Leslie frowned.
"What you want is to control him-and everyone else-to make it all work out exactly like you want it to. He's not a 5K or a Harvest Festival. He's a human being. You need to accept that you can't control this. All you can do is help him and love him and encourage him. He has to do the rest himself."
Leslie blinked back the moisture rising in her eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of."
~ ~ ~
Leslie's three or four daily calls were what carried Ben through the next week. Yes, his second therapy session went well. And yes, the meds seemed to be stabilizing his moods and taming his anxiety and panic. But he wouldn't have remembered to keep leaning on his family-to keep sharing with them-if Leslie hadn't been prodding him.
The sixth morning after she left he woke up early. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror and frowned at what he saw there. Shaggy hair, a scraggly beard, and hollows under his eyes. He couldn't keep letting himself go like this. Not if he wanted to make himself worthy of all the trust and belief Leslie and his family kept showering on him.
It only took a little digging under the sink to find an old home-haircutting kit his mom had stashed down there. He used the scissors to trim the beard as close to his skin as he could, and then used the electric clippers to buzz it down to stubble. Finally he splashed his face with steamy hot tap water and lathered on some shaving cream. By the time he finished dragging the razor across his skin, he was starting recognize the man looking back at him.
He was still pale and gaunt, but he was Ben again.
After rinsing his face he went for a long walk, and even waved at the neighbors he recognized. By the time he got back to his mom's place he'd worked up a big appetite for breakfast. He noticed his mom beaming at him as he wolfed down a plate of eggs and toast.
"You look good," she said. "But you still need a haircut."
He smiled back. Now this was the mom he remembered-not the woman walking on glass around him every day.
"I can call my stylist and see if she has room for you, today," she offered.
Normally he'd just go down to Great Clips for a ten dollar cut. He wasn't fussy. But today, he'd indulge his mom. She wanted to help, and he needed to let her. "Sure." He nodded. "Go ahead and give her a call."
~ ~ ~
Leslie's heart skipped a beat when Ben opened Doreen's door looking like Ben again. She was back in town for Lisa's baby shower and another weekend visit, and he hadn't given her any clues over the phone that this was what she'd be getting.
Her jaw dropped. "Oh my god! You look so good!"
He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah? My mom sent me to her stylist. I think she did a pretty good job. So you like it?"
"I love it. You look so sexy right now."
He laughed, but she wasn't joking. She'd been fantasizing about seeing his bare face again for the past two weeks. She launched herself at his face and reveled in the smooth skin against her lips as they made out.
When she finally pulled back, Ben laughed again. "Wow. You really like it. I should have given her a bigger tip."
"Yes. And I'm so glad I didn't have to be the one to prod you about the beard-I know that men have very special relationships with their facial hair. But smooth is much nicer."
Ben grinned. "Well, I wasn't too attached to it."
"Good."
She had another wonderful weekend visiting with him and his family, and faced another wrenching ache in her chest when she had to drive her rental car back to the airport late Sunday night. She couldn't afford to take any more personal or sick days this year.
Ben had been in much better spirits this weekend. He really seemed to be improving. But he'd still declined her offer to come visit Pawnee. It hurt like hell to be going home to a place he might never be comfortable coming to again.
If she could just convince him to come-if she could show him the tree, and let all their friends show him how happy they'd be to have him back-she knew she could convince him to stay.
She knew she needed to be patient. To let him do it when he felt ready. But how long would it take? She wanted him in her life-her daily life-now. Not in two years.
She'd just have to keep trying. That was all she could ever do.
~ ~ ~
Three days after Leslie's second visit, Ben bought a car.
He'd been frustrated over the lack of a vehicle of his own for a few weeks now, but he'd had a hard time talking himself into using the money sitting in his old bank accounts. It still felt like blood money.
Dr. Houston shook her head when confessed the concern to her. "Ben," she'd said, "Everson may not have earned that money honestly-but you did. You worked hard. So hard that you uncovered the very evidence of wrong-doing that put a stop to his illegal practices. That money is yours. You have nothing to be ashamed of."
She'd suggested that he break the ice by treating himself to something nice. A car probably wasn't what she'd been thinking of, but after a day of waiting for his mom to get home so he could get a ride to the grocery store, he finally hit his breaking point. He wasn't a dependent child. He hadn't been for two decades. It was time to stop acting like one.
When he paid a cashier's check for the three-year old civic, he felt like a grown man for the first time since leaving Pawnee.
He sat behind the wheel of his new ride and cruised the town, windows down to let the wind rush over his face.
It felt pretty damn good.
~ ~ ~
"Okay-that does it for the official business today," said Leslie, closing her binder and look down the conference table at her wonderful colleagues and friends. "But before you go, I'd like to ask you all for a personal favor."
She took a deep breath as they all stared at her expectantly. Normally, she didn't want to use her official position to ask her personal help, but in this case she felt like they might be quicker to act if she spoke from her position of professional authority. They all seemed to drag their feet when she tried to prod them during their off-duty times.
"I was wondering if all of you could take a few minutes over the next week to reach out to Ben. He's doing a lot better, but he's still reluctant to come visit Pawnee after everything that happened here. I think it would help a lot to know that you're all thinking about him."
"Are you sure he wants to hear from us?" asked Donna. "I mean-you'd think he'd have come by now if he really wanted to see us again."
"Seriously," said Tom. "The mayor would've thrown him a parade two months ago. Now it's just old news."
Leslie sighed. She hadn't talked about Ben's struggles very much with her friends-other than Ann-because none of them knew just how deep his psychological scares ran, and she didn't know how to explain it.
"Look," she said, "Ben went through a lot of trauma here, and he's not completely over it yet. But the biggest reason he hasn't come is because he thinks no one will want him here. He thinks you'll all hold grudges against him for lying to you and putting you in mortal danger. But you're all over that, aren't you?" She winced as she finished, knowing that those probably weren't the right words for this particular occasion.
"Absolutely!" said Andy. "I'm totally over it. I think it would be awesome to see Ben again."
Leslie grinned. "See? Andy gets it. Come on, how about the rest of you?"
There was grumbling and mumbling, but also a lot of smiles as they all agreed it would be nice to see Ben again.
"Perfect! I took the liberty of making these cards with his new cell number and email, so you can all find a few minutes sometime this week to get in touch." Leslie handed around the cards and made sure everyone actually took one instead of tossing it in the trash.
She sighed as she sat back at her desk after the meeting. Well, she'd tried. Now she could only hope that a few of them followed through.
~ ~ ~
Ben stared at the rough draft of his resume, wondering how in the hell he was going to explain the recent two-plus year gap in his work history to any prospective employers. He didn't want to try to pass himself off as a crusading hero, but if he didn't he'd come across as a whistle-blowing toady to a pretty evil man.
Crap. This was going to be hard.
As he pondered the situation he heard his text-alert beep from his phone. Welcoming the distraction, he picked it up and raised his eyebrows in surprise. It was from Tom.
"Yo-nerd! What's up! Long time no see. Hey, I've been thinking about leaving the gov to start my own business. I thought a finance nerd like you might have some advice. Call me. -Tommy"
Ben smiled and let out a soft laugh. This was unexpected, but so utterly Tom to only contact him when he needed something. Still, it was nice to hear from him again. He'd have to call him later.
A few hours later, after mowing his mom's lawn, he noticed another text had come in. This one was from Donna. "Hey Ben, you used to read those Game of Thrones books, right? Have you been watching the show? You should be. Because that is some badass awesome shit. Watch it and we can talk about it sometime."
He hadn't thought that Donna would remember his reading choices, and it felt good to hear from her, but he had a feeling that something fishy was going on.
The next morning his suspicions were confirmed when, in short succession, he got a short email from April Ludgate saying: "Hey - loser - why haven't you come to see us yet?" followed by a phone call from none other than Andy.
"Ben! You answered! You're really alive!"
Ben quirked his smile and raised his eyebrows. "Uh-yeah? Was there seriously a question about that at this point?"
"Well, I thought maybe Leslie told us you were alive just to make us feel better, but that you were really dead and that your ghost was haunting our condo. Because it used to be your condo. Thanks for the great furniture, by the way."
"You're welcome," said Ben with growing incredulity. "But why would you think I was haunting your condo?"
"Oh, I kept hearing weird noises, and things would move when my back was turned. April told me it was just Orin's pet ferret, 'cause it escapes from its cage all the time. But I wasn't sure if she was right until just now when I talked to you. And now that I know you're not a ghost I have to talk to Orin about putting a better lock on the ferret cage."
Ben wasn't sure if he should start giving Andy some serious life advice or just laugh at his zest for life in spite of his intellectual shortcomings, but either way he couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear. "Glad to help you clear that up."
"Yeah. Thanks! And you totally need to come visit. I think you'll really like what we've done with the place. And I've got some new fighting moves to show you. I'm doing so good at the dojo that Don gave me a job teaching one of the kids' classes. So now I'm a shoe-shinist by day, martial arts expert by night. It's pretty sweet."
"That's awesome, Andy. I'm really glad you stuck with the classes and that they're paying off like this. I'm really happy for you." He was also happy that Andy's was the first non-Leslie voice from Pawnee that he'd heard. Andy had a way of making him relax that Ben felt certain wouldn't have happened with anyone else.
"Me too, man. And I'm serious about you coming to visit. You really need to."
Ben squeezed his lips together and thought for a moment. "Maybe I will. Maybe."
"Awesome. I can't wait to see you," said Andy.
Ben sighed. "Um-one question. Did Leslie put you up to this? Calling me, I mean?"
"Oh, yeah, totally."
"That's what I thought." Ben squeezed his eyes shut. She meant well. Really, she did. "Well, it was great hearing from you. I'll call you again sometime."
He didn't mention any of his contact with his old Pawnee friends to Leslie when she called later that day. He didn't want to give her reason to gloat or push. Ben needed a little more time to think about this.
The next day in his therapy session he explained the entire situation to Dr. Houston.
"I just feel like-if they were really my friends, why did they need Leslie to push them into getting in touch with me?" He shook his head, not sure if he was more frustrated at Leslie or at his other friends, or at himself.
"To be fair, you haven't exactly opened yourself up to contact," replied Dr. Houston in the tone she always used when she knew she was telling him something he already knew. "Even after you let Leslie back into your life, you haven't made any efforts to spread your new contact information or to let people know you were ready to talk again-have you?"
"No." Ben sighed and sank deeper into the heavily cushioned chair in her office. "I haven't. But they didn't ask Leslie for my number. She had to push it on them."
"So what?"
Ben scrunched up his forehead and met Dr. Houston's questioning gaze. "So what?" he echoed.
"Yes. So what? As soon as she gave them your number, they all started reaching out. They didn't balk. They didn't hesitate. They reached out."
"They just did it for Leslie," he muttered.
"Are you sure about that?" Dr. Houston arched an eyebrow at him.
Ben swallowed and stared down at his fidgeting hands in his lap. They hadn't sounded like they were repeating Leslie's same old arguments for visiting Pawnee. They'd all approached him with comments on the same sorts of things they'd talked about when he was still working with them every day. The same sorts of things they'd talked about when they were friends.
"No," he admitted. "Maybe-maybe they really were being friends."
Dr. Houston nodded slowly. "And maybe it's worth it to give them the benefit of the doubt?"
"Yeah. Maybe it is."
~ ~ ~
Leslie's heart leaped in her chest when Donna casually mentioned that she'd been texting about Game of Thrones with Ben. It leaped even higher when Andy mentioned he'd talked to Ben and that Ben had totally promised to maybe come visit. The next day Tom said he'd scheduled a phone appointment with Ben to get financial advice on his idea for starting a new multi-media entertainment conglomerate with Jean-Ralphio. That had been enough to leave a lump in her throat that she had wash down with a cup of chocolate-laden coffee.
When she talked to Ben after work that day she put on her best "super-casual" voice and said, "So I hear you're back in touch with a few of your old Pawnee friends."
"Yeah," he said. "We've been talking. It's-pretty cool. Pretty cool."
She still heard an edge of tension in his voice which made her wince. "Are you sure? It's not too much?"
"No. It's actually-pretty great. I'm starting to think maybe it's, uh, finally time to visit Pawnee."
Her throat felt tight again and she felt like her voice was croaking as she managed to respond, "That would be really great. When do you think you want to come?"
"Um-maybe I can make a long weekend of it next week and come out on Friday?"
Her heart swelled. It was everything she'd been waiting for. Please let this work. Please let him see how much Pawnee means to him. "That sounds perfect."
~ ~ ~
The days following Ben's commitment to visit Pawnee took on an increasingly surreal tone as he exchanged texts and short calls with once-familiar friends as if no time or lies had ever passed between them until, three days later, the most surreal thing of all happened.
He was summoned-there was no other way to describe it-to the office of the mayor of Partridge.
Ben felt his sweat start to lubricate his palms as he walked up the steps of city hall, and he had to wipe his hand on his pants before offering it to Mayor Stice.
All the furniture in the mayor's office had changed since his brief stint, but the wood-paneled walls and built in bookshelves were just the same as he remembered them. One of those shelves used to hold his collection of Star Wars action figures. He got the feeling from the current décor that Stice wouldn't have looked kindly on that particular display.
God, it was strange to be back.
His mom had warned him of the mayor's many attempts to throw a public ceremony to honor him, which she'd thankfully rebuffed. But when he was asked (told) to come to a private meeting, he'd figured it couldn't be too bad. He needed to learn to face his fears again, or so Dr. Houston kept telling him.
The meeting started off benign enough, with the mayor praising him on his courageous and honorable service and so on. Ben still didn't care for that kind of talk, but he bit his tongue and put up with it.
"I truly don't think a small plaque in an ice rink is enough reward for service of your magnitude," said Stice.
Ben forced a smile and dipped his head modestly. "Well, really, the knowledge that I've helped the lives of cancer patients everywhere is enough reward for me."
"Nonsense," Stice waved a dismissive hand. "Not only are you a hero-you're a damn smart one. I've done some looking into your background and resume. It's very impressive. Now, I'll let you in on a little secret. The town has run in on some hard times, financially. Not as bad as back in your day," Stice chuckled condescendingly and Ben wrinkled his nose in distaste, "but not terribly good, either. And as it happens, I've had to let our town comptroller go. He just wasn't up to the job. And when I was thinking about who had what it takes to work by my side to usher in a new era of fiscal stability for our great town, well, I couldn't think of anyone better than you." Stice grinned at him.
Ben raised his eyebrows, his jaw dropping a little. "Wait a minute-are you-offering me a job?"
"You bet I am." Stice waved a pointing finger in his face. "I want you for my new comptroller, and I'm determined to have you. Say the word, and we can get this thing started. I can get a press conference together to announce your appointment this very afternoon, if you're game."
Ben fidgeted and twisted in his chair, trying in vain to avoid the intense gaze of mayor Stice. "Um. Wow. That's-that's-that's very flattering. Um. I don't know quite what to say." The thought that the mayor seemed intent on using him to boost public morale regarding the current administration (there was no other plausible explanation) was enough of a bizarro alternate timeline for him to feel at a complete loss for words.
"Say you'll take the job." Stice leaned toward Ben, wearing a menacing grin with his gleaming too-white teeth.
"You know-I'm going to have to think about it. I-I'm not sure yet if this is the direction I want to take my life." He shifted to stand up.
"If it's the compensation you're worried about, stop. I'm prepared to make you a very competitive offer-"
Ben jumped to his feet. "How about you have the offer sent to my place once it's all written up, so I can take my time considering it. Okay? Thank you so much. I've got to run." He turned and scurried out of the office as fast as he could get away with, ignoring Stice's protests behind him. He was in no mood for those kind of hard-sell tactics, today. Especially not from someone as obviously sleazy as Stice.
He'd had enough of untrustworthy bosses. Never, ever again.
An almost equally surreal moment arrived late that afternoon when his phone rang and a Pawnee city offices phone number flashed on his caller i.d.
Ben answered immediately, wondering if Leslie had misplaced her cell. Instead, he found himself speaking to Paul Iaresco.
"Wow-Paul. How are you doing? How is your recovery going?" Ben managed to say after realizing who he was speaking to.
"Recovery has gone really well. I still get winded faster than I used to, but it's getting better. And I’m back to work and doing fine. Thanks for asking."
"Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I really need to apologize to you for leaving you high and dry like that. I shouldn't have committed to the job when the possibility existed that I'd have to leave in a hurry-"
"No apology necessary," said Paul, cutting him off. "You had a hell of a good reason for hiding the truth, and none of what happened in January was your fault. I never held it against you."
Ben smiled and sank into a comfortable chair. "Thank you. Really. You have no idea what that means to me."
"You're welcome. Anyway-the reason I'm calling is that I hear you may be coming back to Pawnee."
"Well, I am planning to visit in a few days."
"I'd like to have a talk with you when you're in town. You see, my doctor's been nagging me to get my work week back down to forty hours and I can barely keep on top of things working fifty or sixty. So I've just gained city council approval to bring on a permanent assistant city manager. And if you'd ever consider relocating to Pawnee for good, the job is yours, if you want it."
Ben's heart froze in his chest. Was this fate trying to send him a sign? Just a happy coincidence? Did it really matter? "Wow. Even after everything that happened, you'd really want me for the position?"
"I would. Frankly, you're over-qualified and I won't be able to pay you nearly what you're probably used to from your days in corporate accounting. But I have it on good authority that you're done with the corporate world and that you still feel very attached to Pawnee, and that if I don't offer you the job then I'm a damn fool."
Ben let out a hollow laugh. "Did Leslie say that?"
"No. Ron Swanson did. That's what he said to me just this morning when I asked him what he thought of you for the job."
Ben's voice caught in his throat. Of all his old Pawnee friends, he'd been most sure that Ron would be done with him after what happened to Leslie. And he'd thought his suspicions were confirmed when Ron was the only of his old crowd not to contact him, yet. "Ron really said that?"
"He sure did," said Paul. "And that's about as enthusiastic as Ron ever gets about anything, so I took it as a ringing endorsement."
"Wow. Yeah."
"Look, Ben, I know you probably need some time to think things over. Just drop by my office when you get into town and I'll make the time to talk over the full offer with you. You aren't the only name on my list of candidates, but you're right at the top. I'll give you a few weeks to think it through."
"Thanks. I really appreciate that. And I will think about. Hard."
"Good. I'll see you soon."
It took a few minutes for Ben's heart to stop racing after hanging up. This was too good to be true. Everything about Pawnee had been too good to be true right from the very start.
Could he really let himself believe again?
He tossed and turned late into the night as his mind spun with the thoughts that maybe he really could go back. Maybe he really could have a second shot at his happily ever after.
Yet another unexpected call came early the next morning-one Ben was happy to answer when the number flashed on his caller i.d..
"Chris! How's it going? How's Atlanta?" Somehow more than a month had passed since he last spoke to Chris. It had been far too long.
"Things are absolutely fantastic. And I'm sorry I haven't been checking in with you like I said I would. My life has truly been a whirlwind these past six weeks. But before I get started on all my news, please, tell me how you're doing?"
Ben smiled. "Better. A lot better. Things are going really well with Leslie, and the meds are working and therapy is helping. I've gotten back in touch with some of the old gang from Pawnee. I'm actually headed out to visit in two days."
"That is literally the best news I've had in days. I'm so happy for you!"
The enthusiasm in Chris's voice brought a chuckle rising in Ben's throat. God, it was good to hear from him again. "So what's all your news that you're so excited about?"
Chris took a deep breath before answering. "I'm moving to Boston!"
Ben nearly dropped his phone. The last he'd heard from his friend, he'd just finished up a very good visit with his ex, Kelsey, in Boston. But that had been over a month ago. "Wait-what?"
"Kelsey and I are moving in together. Isn't it fantastic?"
"Wow. Just-I didn't even know you two were officially back together."
"Well-we were dancing around it when I last called you. Trying to play it safe and slow. But when she came to see me in Atlanta again a week after our first visit, we just knew. We both knew that we'd put off our happiness for long enough, and what we wanted more than anything was to start building our lives and our future together. We've been popping back and forth between Boston and Atlanta ever since. I put my condo on the market last week, and we just had our offer accepted on a home together in Boston. Isn't it remarkable?" The joy and wonder in Chris's voice was overwhelming.
"Yes. It is. That's so awesome, man. I'm really, really happy for you. Let me know once you're all moved in and I'll come visit you."
"I would love that."
"I know."
"And I'm so glad that things are going well for you and Leslie. I was worried about you."
Ben's smile softened. The reminder of just how many people really care about him over the past couple of weeks had done more for his anxieties then the meds and the therapy combined. "Yeah. I really love her, and in spite of everything, she actually loves me back. It's-pretty remarkable, too. But this long distance is tough. I mean, we talk all the time and the visits have been pretty frequent, but it's hard."
"So what's stopping you from moving back to Indiana? I know how happy you were there."
"I was. I really was. I just-" Ben froze. He just what? Two weeks ago he would have been able to spout off a long list of excuses as to why he couldn't go back, but all those reasons had been evaporating one by one. "I don't know what's stopping me," he admitted. "Leslie wants me to come, my friends have forgiven me, and just yesterday Paul called to offer me a job. I really don't know what's stopping me."
"It sounds like the only thing stopping you is inertia," said Chris. "You don't really want to keep living in your mom's house in Partridge, do you?"
Ben loved his mom, and she'd done so much for him. But no-this place still wasn't home. The only place that had really felt like home in the past few years was Pawnee. "I don't."
"So get up and go. Just go. Stop thinking about it. Just move."
Ben shook his head and smiled as he remembered all the times over the past year he'd gotten that very same advice, yet he still needed to hear it. "Okay."
"Really? You're not just saying that?" Chris sounded understandably skeptical.
"Really. You're right. I need to stop waiting for my life to get started again. I need to get out there and make it happen."
"Yes! That's exactly what I was thinking when Kelsey and I decided to live together. We put our lives on hold for more than two years, Ben. Haven't we wasted enough time?"
"Yes," said Ben, his conviction growing every second. "We have."
~ ~ ~
Thursday afternoon Leslie stood in the center of the Parks Department staring pensively at the two banners Tom and Donna had made. Setting aside her concerns about font choice, it was the wording that really worried her.
One banner read: "Welcome back Ben!" The other read: "Welcome home Ben!"
That single word change made all the difference in the world, and she had no idea which one to hang up for his arrival tomorrow.
"Welcome home," said Andy. "Definitely welcome home. You know the dude's not leaving again once he gets here."
"I don't know," said Leslie. "His mind still isn't made up. There might be some things here in Pawnee that trigger his anxieties too much."
"I'm with Leslie," said Donna. "That boy was pretty messed up. We don't want to put too much pressure on him."
Leslie swallowed hard. She hated this. She hated having to stress over one tiny word.
Ron ambled up beside her. "Chose whichever one you like best. Ben won't mind either way."
Leslie frowned. "But what if-"
"What won't I mind?"
Leslie's jaw dropped and she spun on her heels to see Ben standing just inside the doors of the department, grinning from ear to ear, dressed like he was just showing up for another day at work.
"Oh my god!" she cried, racing toward him to throw her arms around him. "You're a day early! We were planning a party for you."
He squeezed her tight and laughed. "Sorry to ruin your plans. I got tired of waiting so I started driving out yesterday afternoon. I just pulled into town."
Leslie could hardly believe her ears. She pulled back from the hug and glared up at him. "You sneak! You didn't say anything when we talked last night or this morning."
"I wanted it to be a surprise," he said with a twinkle in his eyes that made him look more like himself than anything she'd seem from him over the past two months.
"Well, it is!"
And then the private reunion ended as their friends crowded around them, hugging Ben and welcoming him back.
A few tears slid down Leslie's cheeks as she watched his joyful grin while he embraced all his old friends. Maybe Andy was right. God, she hoped Andy was right.
She blotted away her tears before Ben turned back to her and took her hand. "How about we move that party to tonight? We can all get some dinner together at J.J.s and then grab some drinks after?"
He was answered by a chorus of voices in the affirmative.
"Then it's a plan," said Leslie, her heart pounding. "We'll head there right after work tonight."
"But right now," said Ben, his grin sending a thrill down her spine, "we're going to go get some coffee and catch up. I'll see you all a little later." He waved brightly and pulled Leslie after him into the corridor as a few teasing comments followed them.
Leslie smiled as he led her down to the break area, and when they found it unoccupied he promptly pulled her into a passionate kiss. Waves of warmth flowed through her whole body, and she felt like singing. Everything felt right again.
When the kiss finally broke they stood smiling giddily at each other for a moment. Leslie took a deep breath to clear her head. "Wow. I'm so, so happy that you're finally here."
"Me too," he said softly. "I waited too long. But I'm not waiting anymore." He smiled a little broader. "I'm about to head up to Paul's office to talk about a certain job offer he made me a few days ago."
Leslie felt like her eyebrows had shot right up to her hairline. "Wait-what? Are you serious?"
"Completely serious. I've never been more serious about anything in my life."
The world was spinning so fast that Leslie wasn't sure if she could stay on her feet if she let go of his hands.
"Welcome home," he said, holding her gaze with his eyes.
"What?"
"The banners. Use the one that says welcome home."
The End
A/N: Again, I can't thank you all enough for sticking with this crazy AU of mine. Please comment - even if you usually don't. I want to hear from each and every one of my readers, and I promise I'll reply to every single comment. Even anonymous comments. As an added bonus, you can also play "Ask me anything" in your comments. Ask me about this story, about my headcanons for this AU or what I think will happen in the future for these versions of the characters. Or you could ask me about my novel-writing career (such as it is), or my Thanksgiving recipes, or my past-present-or future experiences in fandom. Ask anything and I'll do my best to answer as my thank you to all my readers. Love you!