(Untitled)

[joancrawford]

Yes, yes it's been a while, but Joan is a busy queen!

Hmm, it appears I'm still a little sore from last night. Jon Lovitz came over, and we had our own private COCKtail party. He put up a good fight, but I managed to tangle him in my love-nest and slam him hard with the double-dong.

But enough about me. Let's talk about YOU for a while! It's been

Comments

[karmakanic]

Oh Joan, I've been anxiously anticipating your return for quite some time now! I've been douching my nether-region fairly regularly w/ pepsi; so whenever you're ready, dive in.

As if you needed an invitation you insatiable thing...

Re:

[joancrawford]

Well, I suppose it's time for this diva to don her scuba gear and go on a little expedition to uranus!
Love, J.C.

movingtime

[secretime]

Joan, I am moving across the country at the end of this summer. Do you think you could help move some heavy boxes and furniture?

Re: movingtime

[joancrawford]

Me? move boxes? HAH! I will, however, lend you my army of eunuchs...
Love, J.C.

[dancingmaggot]

Oh Joan, I was devasted to hear of the whole "boxoffice poison" incident. I'm glad you've recovered so gracefully. You've always been the type to rise from the ashes, haven't you? I'm a little surprised you didn't test MGM's ability to rise from ashes, though. Not that I'm supporting arson, but, well, Hollywood Royalty is entitled to a certain level of respect, and I don't feel they've shown it to you.

A devoted fan.

[joancrawford]

Hmm, yes, well you see, we had 'Creative Differences', me and L.B. Mayer, and we parted ways amicably...

THAT BALDING GOOD FOR NOTHING LUMP OF BEEF SUET! I'D DROP KICK HIM OFF OF A PARKING STRUCTURE IF I WASN'T SURE IT'D BREAK ALL MY PRETTY TOES!!!

Thank you for all your wonderful support! I owe it all to you, my WONderful fans! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Love, J.C.