It's been so long, my adoring, WONderful fans! I was reminiscing about how I almost got that part in Gone With The Wind... you know, of that hopelessly spoiled whore, Scarlett? I was born for that role if you ask me. Wearing TWO, THREE HUNDRED DOLLAR DRESSES and SLAPPING THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF MINORITIES while seducing every good looking and ( Read more... )

I know it's been ever so long since I've written to my WONderful fans! I have just been so busy stocking up on Mohawk Vodka and writing thank you notes in response to thank you notes in response to thank you notes for the christmas cards from last year ( Read more... )

OH! MY! I am just SO HORNY! It's all I can do to keep my massive hair in place ( Read more... )

CHRISTINAAAAA!! CHRISTOPHER, DAMMIT!!!

CAROLANNE! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THE CHILDREN QUIET TODAY! AND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, GET THEM OUT OF THE GARD'NN!!!

I'M JOAN CRAWFORD, AND I'M MAD AS HELL! DAMN MAD! My codswalloping LESBIAN of a daughter Christina was arrested last night for COPULATING with a HAM SANDWICH while serving JURY DUTY ( Read more... )

Ah, Springtime... love is in the air, people! The birds and the bees are all busy doing the horizontal tango! Unfortunately, this sultry Hollywood Starlet is without a bird OR a bee. I'm feeling rather randy, and I have nothing on which to vent my... 'frustrations', if you will. That being said, I am now accepting applications and resumes for the ( Read more... )

This afternoon Carol Ann and Tina went down to the corner market to pick up some more Lux and Rinso. (They were in the midst of daily chores when they ran out ( Read more... )

Well dears, all is calm on the homefront. Tina and I have been getting along fine! As a matter of fact, we went and saw The Ring together last night; Tina kept saying that she could relate to Samara. Something about me neglecting her, I don't know, I wasn't really listening ( Read more... )

Well hello to all of my wonderful fans! I'm sorry, but I must keep this brief and to the point. I'm here to supply a link to my interview with DOOM Magazine.

You can find the website here. It's under the 'Interviews' section.

Now, I must get back to my colonic irrigation, Archie's coming over tonight!

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Oh, Hello all! It's me, Joan Crawford, back from the dead as usual! I've been really busy here in hell, you wouldn't believe how time consuming eternity can be! I took a little break from signing autographs and whipping the backsides of heathenous Egyptian slaves to sit down in the throneroom on my IBook and update my lovely livejournal ( Read more... )