Fuck it. Pining and wishing are useless. Either you want something or you don't. If you don't know if you want it, then either you really don't or you can do without it. It really can be that easy. Yes, people change their mind, but every day or every other day, well that's a mindfuck. I already know I can't have what I want, so I'm just ( Read more... )

Johnny's not here right now. Leave a message and maybe he'll get back to you if and when he returns. But don't hold your breath.

i am back where i began this european trip, sweden. since my last update i have visited vinny & genya in russia, cibby & kuby in the czech republic, and now freddie mo. i'm like a fucking nomad with no home. where home is supposesd to be is empty and lonely. where home was becoming is... mournful. i'm not sure where i belong now. i wish jade ( Read more... )

PA, ND, PA, Sweden, Russia... where the fuck am I? WHO the fuck am I? What fucking time is it, anyway? And why the fuck isn't the NHL in season? *severely jet-lagged and disoriented ( Read more... )

I walked up to the ticket counter and re-routed myself to where I'd come from. I didn't know why at the time but I guess I'll find out eventually. At least there's a game tonight I can go to, if nothing else. Call me a sucker or overly protective but I know I have a reason for being here. Time will tell.

So I'm debating staying for tomorrow's games or not. It's not dependent on anything anymore. US (some people seem to forget that I'm American) versus the Czech Republic. Canada versus Russia. I have no stake in the games nor do I have anywhere else to be. It's nice here though, very beautiful and peaceful ( Read more... )

Marty showed up last night here in North Dakota. I'm glad to see my friend again but I'm hoping I don't need him like I'm afraid I will. Yes, that's cryptic. Deal with it.

Someone's at the door, gotta go.

This Christmas was nothing like I expected it to be and yet it was amazing nonetheless. It wasn't looking very promising to begin with. I was at the folks' but feeling incredibly alone. Having blown a significant relationship, losing Jade, and being far from my new hope (while said hope was dealing with their own relationship issues), I was ( Read more... )

Ask me 6 questions no matter how personal, private or random, I have to answer them honestly. In turn, you MUST post this message in your own journal.

I can't bring myself to read Cibby's entries anymore but I want to know what's going on with him, whatever he's willing to write or talk about at least. It's not that he's doing things without me... it's that I can't do them with him. That may be what hurts the most, others get him but I don't. The one comfort I have in that is that I know I had ( Read more... )