Utee. That's this lady's name. I hope everything goes good for her and she finds herself a family. I feel so drained, UF still hasn't sent me a reply. I've been visiting this hospital way too fucking much. I need to brush up on some classic literature. I need to find myself a fulcrum. And maybe some emotionally stability, but only if I can keep ( Read more... )

Is Paris Hilton going around masquerading as a black singer named Keri Hilson?

I love the rambunctiousness of young children. But seriously, why do people just let their kids run amok. We're in a goddamn hospital, you little shits. My moods have been in flux. I need a bubble where sound and light cannot penetrate.

Stupidity must be part of the human condition. I know I'm very badly informed about current events so I'm not sure how much of a surprise this is going to be for the rest of you. Apparently, Florida gives its precious springwater from our various natural springs to bottled water companies. FOR FREE. What the hell? When did it become ok for a ( Read more... )

History folks, history is pouring down from the skies, pouring up from the ground, and pouring all around. Barack Hussein Obama is now the President of the United States of America. What a relief. I know it's the first day, but I feel like change is coming. Momma's coming. After the Bush Administration, I'd take a literate cat for President if it ( Read more... )

I just had a great time in Gainesville. Here are some quotes, Montano style.

Lauren: This Long Island Iced Tea is DELICIOUS! And it's full of liquor, I saw him pour it up to here!

Lauren: I've got another fish question!

Me: Snow Lee Oh Pard

I'll edit in some more later. I can't really remember any right now.

I just fell in love with 30 Rock. How have I been so blind for so long?

I just had a chicken pot pie. And I'm very excited about the ox tails that are cooking. I've decided I want a ceramic casserole dish for Gainesville.

I'm really starting to hate those fucking animated BP gas commercials. The one where they introduce a character that runs a small business. And then tell you that BP causes the business to go belly up. Then they try to tell you that the character later achieves their dreams and thanks BP. Fuck that. I would never thank the heartless corporation ( Read more... )

Should I let my beard grow out for the upcoming year? I just shaved it right now and I love the feeling of being cleanshaven, but I wonder if I could pull off the bearded intellectual look. How bout it? My little scavengers, you all saw me last night, your thoughts?