Where was this magazine back in December when I needed it?! Had I been armed with a shopping cart, voices in my head, and the invaluable information contained within this relevant periodical, I no doubt would have chosen a different path.
Instead, lacking the emotional fortitude your magazine surely would have given me, I decided to get a job and start paying my rent again...
P.S. Patches Merkerson obviously doesn't know a good place to shit from a hole in the ground. I live in San Francisco and seeing my lovely, human-feces-covered city near the bottom of his "Shit-List" angers me greatly, and saddens me deeply. You tell Patches that if he ever shows his face in my beloved town again, I'll take a dump on his chest.
Every now and then, I'm sure the homeless miss the fresh sound of a toilet flushing. My suggestion: Run to your local McDonalds. As they are eyeballing you, thinking you are just there for the bathroom privileges, order a "hot apple pie." Then go to the bathroom, drop your Duke Wellington or whatever the case may be, and run out laughing. Congratulations, you have not only moved your bowels, but also hornswoggled a multibillion dollar corporation.
The fact that I don't remember that 200 meter relay shitting incident in the 1996 Olympics or the fact that the homeless apparently have an easier time paying their cel phone bills than I, a college student, do.
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Instead, lacking the emotional fortitude your magazine surely would have given me, I decided to get a job and start paying my rent again...
P.S. Patches Merkerson obviously doesn't know a good place to shit from a hole in the ground. I live in San Francisco and seeing my lovely, human-feces-covered city near the bottom of his "Shit-List" angers me greatly, and saddens me deeply. You tell Patches that if he ever shows his face in my beloved town again, I'll take a dump on his chest.
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I can't wait to find out about mismatched socks and shitstained parkas! Haute couture!!!
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-YDH
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The fact that I don't remember that 200 meter relay shitting incident in the 1996 Olympics or the fact that the homeless apparently have an easier time paying their cel phone bills than I, a college student, do.
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(The comment has been removed)
One love,
Keep it real,
Word,
Steve
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