Well, boys and girls I'm back. It's a long story. You see what happened was that on May 21, 2011 I was the only one who got raptured. I was suprised at this considering my penchant for premarital sex and the weekends of abuse I bestow upon my liver. So I get up there, right? There's God and he's sitting there with a big ol' party hat. No one
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