ok i know i posted already to day but see i have these well episodes where my skin feels like its on fire like literally i thought it was a sensitivity to heat and i have them more often when i get warm but i also have them when im not i think its either nerve pain or a flash back not sure why i felt the need to post but i diud so there nehhhh

gosh this posting everyday thing is hard i dont know how to explain it panic attacks nightmares bad depression and severe guilt persist i found what small joys i can in each day but its really hard to quantify them due to thier fleeting nature ehhh bbllahh

hmmmmm it was windy and overcast today so i was able to spend some time outside today thats good i think i could deal with the pain a lot better if it wasnt for the constant depression and guilt depressed and guilty about what i have no clue

i know i know i didnt post any this weekend so kill me ok so today is turning out to be a bad pain day i wish i could say i have discovered something good but it aint happening blahhhhhh

so good thing about to day i have switched from coffee to tea not sure what kind i like yet but so far im diggin this earl grey

sharp pains in my private area totally suck nothing good has happened today yet i just had to vent a sec

so i went out today to run some errands as people do first thing millin round out side waitin to get under way i get a lil warm and have a flash back burnin skin pain and all then i push through still havin flashback but trying to maintain cause dangit i got shit to do i have another one in the car on the way to town it was like 75 80 degrees WTF ( Read more... )

so i remember my former therapist tellin me at some point that keepin a daily journal can be helpful for people with ptsd so i have decided that is a good idea i was keppin a old fashioned one like pen and paper but i lost it so hmmmm having atleast one panic attack a day sometimes more usually brought on by heat or too much activity also ( Read more... )

ok i need to rant, over the past couple years or so one topic has caused me a large amount of angst. The statement usually goes something like this "when i was growing up there wasnt as much autism depression ... etc" .Its usually some insinuation that some portion of the said afflicted people must be faking it or there is some massive conspiracy. ( Read more... )

recently i made a twitter account mostly to follow my favorite vlogger meekakitty and i have a follower i have not even tweeted anything it just confuses me ehhh