Ok I am updating. Where I am currently, computers have not been discovered. I have nicked the laptop belonging to the man sitting beside me - ie Pete - so I can get on the internet ( Read more... )

Wow there are has been such a lot happening recently. A real update soon I promise. As soon as I get the excess eyeliner that is glueing my eyes together off.

[Thing is, there is also the little unpleasant thing called 'exams' that have been going on. You may have noticed that. And no, not the prostate gland this time. Heh heh.]

When girls say they want to be just like me, what exactly do they mean? Do they want to be happily married to a man they love, with two wonderful sons like me? Do they want to have two books published like me? Financially independent like me? I think not. No, what they mean is they want to be famous like me. They want the magazine spreads, the ( Read more... )

I came, I saw, I conquered... eventually. Yes, indeed, I am now the possessor of something that has been as highly saught as the Holy Grail. That's right, I now have a screen name. Uh-huh, a screen name, which proves I am not an utter retard (although the length of time it took for me to get one might suggest otherwise.) Now all I have to do is ( Read more... )

I have Pussycat Dolls' "Don't cha" stuck in my head now. Earlier on it was something else. It was annoying because it was in my head all through my exam. What's that? Do I still go to school? Hell no - it was my prostate gland examination. Finger up the bum and everything. At least, the doctor said it was the prostate gland. Hmm - do women even ( Read more... )

Well I read in the news (yes I can read) that Britney Spears nearly dropped her son when she tripped. His head lolled back or something and his hat fell off. Now why the hell was she carrying him like a stuffed teddy? And why was she holding a drink in her other hand? Sheesh - she's Britney Spears, she could get some lackey to hold everything else ( Read more... )

Well it seems that the police have uncovered a plot by some arseholes to kidnap one of my sons. One wonders, why do they not want to kidnap me? Then again it would be kind of hard for the kidnappers to maneuver my boobs into a truck. Plus I could take out their eyes with my nipples. But they could have kidnapped Pete - I wouldn't have minded that ( Read more... )

My name is Katie Price, also known as Jordan. I'm a glamour model, and I've had several breast enlargements (currently 32FF). My personal life is always featured in the British tabloids, I knew they loved me. I am one of those celebrities who are 'famous for being famous' but I'm alright with that ( Read more... )