So I gave in and took the Valium my mom gave me last night. Not a good idea. I slept a little while, but it made me have really bad dreams. I think they were even worse than my usual ones because I couldn't wake myself up. It was like being in a haze, half-asleep, half-awake. Wonder if dying's like that? You can feel what's happening to you ( Read more... )

This has been the most insane couple of days... I don't even know how to describe it. I haven't seen or heard from Josh since we took care of the creepy lunch lady last night. I don't want to. I so don't want him to show up at this party ( Read more... )

He threatened to kill me. Chased me down the street, threw me on the ground and held a knife to my throat. Sounds like a bad made-for-TV movie, doesn't it?

I always knew Josh Davidson was annoying and devious and a huge liar, but psycho? He said he'd killed people before. He could've been lying about that, but I dunno. God. He was outside ( Read more... )

Will this bus ride ever be over? At least at the end of it I'll be home.

What an awful two days. Mostly, just boredom and worrying about Jake. Mom promised me she'd call the hospital to check on him and let me know if he wasn't doing better, but I still worried. I've watched more stupid daytime TV shows in the past two days than I have in two ( Read more... )

This has been an awful, awful day. I'm so worried about Jake I can't see straight, and I'm stuck here in San Diego at my dad's, and I can't even call him because he's still in the hospital ( Read more... )

Sitting here in the waiting room with Amber, Marcus, Carlos, Sera, Nick and Jake's mom, waiting for some news about Jake, I feel like I'm all by myself. In a fog. And I can't stop thinking, What the fuck just happened?Nobody was that enthusiastic about the show, really, since Marcus' parents were just killed last night. We were all thinking ( Read more... )

Just got home. It's been a strange night ( Read more... )

Funny how 17 feels just the same as 16. Birthdays are overrated. It's okay though. My dad sent me flowers that were delivered this morning, and I was really surprised. I totally wasn't expecting that. Mom gave me a gift card to the CD store and a new shirt I'd been wanting; I'm wearing it today ( Read more... )

Ugly scene at school today. Jake and I were walking down the hall after lunch - which I somehow managed to spend down in the basement again, doing God knows what - and we saw Josh yelling at Dawn with that same smug look he had on his face when he dumped Amber at the dance. She was crying, but she was managing to give it back to him pretty good ( Read more... )

My freaking mother is making me go to San Diego during Spring Break; at least I talked her out of making me stay for the whole week. I just told her how important it was to me to be supportive of Jake and his band and that I really wanted to be in town during the weekends because that's when they do their gigs. It was so hard to stay cool and not ( Read more... )