I don't know where everyone gets the cool quizzes from, so I just took the first one that popped up on "Google."

( Are You Ready for a Back-to-School Romance? )

Sometimes when Armando is warming up, even before he takes the field, I pop in a couple of Tums.

Sigh. That was Shane.

Shane, if I say you can't have a cookie and you write "Lance Niekro For President Of The Universe" all over the walls in purple crayon, a grounding is fully warranted. Furthermore, there is no evidence to support the theory that I am a "doo doo caca pee pee head."

yaya giants r winning agin i knew we culd do it!

no one throws me stri kes becauz i'm a doodoo caca peepee head who grounds his son for no reason. LANBCE NIERKO IS THE BEST1!1

dodgrs hav blue balls blahalblahblah

love,
stupid caca pee pee head

Today's game was comparable to that dream where you're standing naked on a podium in front of 10,000 people. Only with the added twist of your grandmother out in the audience yelling that you're "out of jock itch ointment, honey, so don't go scratching your balls until you get a refill ( Read more... )

Those were definitely strikes last night ( Read more... )

Here's the thing. The pitch I "struck out" on to end the game on Monday? That was not a strike. It was outside and low. The only way I'd be able to hit that sucker is if I was holding a golf club.

I looked up strike zone in the Dictionary and this is what it had to say:

strike zone
n. Baseball.

The area over home plate through which a pitch ( Read more... )

One of my 14 kids set this up. Should be interesting.