I  have a new appreciating for the rower.
700 cals in 25 minutes..

 I am so pissed off...
soo fuckin pissed off.. I just spent two fuckin months getting my foot to heal.. and now out of fuckin no where its wrecked again.. I'm going home to cut the shit outta myself. I don't give a fuck. maybe I'll cut my left foot off.. its caused me NOTHING but problems my entire fucking LIFE. FUCK. i'm soooooo mad.. so ( Read more... )

 I'm going to try to have a better food day today... the only thing that can totally screw it up is bowling tonight with my family... its my dads and my neices bday today :D yay. but i NEED to go to the gym today fter work.. then the bowling alley.  Everything I do seems like a chore. I'm so tired. I just want to do nothing really...I don't even do ( Read more... )

 great news.. the boss said it is freezing back here in the office.. but he also said the heat was cranked to 24 degrees so it should be TOO hot... well it looks like the furnace is fucked haha.. I don't know why I'm laughing . I'm the one that suffers... but it is nice to know that I'm not going crazy... 
so about that cut free thing. I cut last ( Read more... )

 my eyes are burning...my weekend is over.. and it wasn't exactly a success story.. (i like saying success story, it reminds me of an episode of QAF.. when emmett tries to be straight) anyways. 
I can't decide whether I had fun or not.  Isn't that odd?  Taking friday off was needed.  I had tons to do and no time so friday solved that.  I ran ( Read more... )

I just had two cookies .. they were big.. now I AM HUGE.. maybe I'll purge them.. maybe I'm too tired to purge ( Read more... )

  ok here is a prime example of why I am a total stress case..
For the past month I'd say I've been severely stressed out about money.. And for all those reading.. I can hear you right now "ohh who isn't stressed about money?"  whatever.. Point here is I AM.. and so it took me quite the guts to actually check my balance today.. and yes I was ( Read more... )

 i'm annoyed... I don't want to talk to anyone!  I want to be alone and by myself in my house.. doing my thing.. reading.. working out.. cutting.. (haven't cut in 4 days)  Not that I haven't wanted to.. I just fell asleep before I could..

So yesterday it nearly happened....

or i thought it was going to happen.  I was at the gym.. going WAY too hard after a intense hike outside in the riverbottom walkin all over the countryside sound of music style... don't ask why I went to the gym after the walk.... but I did it.. overdid it.  I was still sweating from the hike when I got to the ( Read more... )

 fuck I'm dumb.. I probly just purged my epilepsy medication. .. I cant say for sure. but its likely... I don't know what to do. I don't want to take it again .. just incase I didn't purge it.. because not a lot of food came up before i remembered I had taken it.. but still... I called the pharmacist and asked her (told her i was sick 20 minutes ( Read more... )