i did the regrettable thing again today. it wasnt so regrettable. i dont really like him. but its not so bad. im becoming stronger. im using him!

and sex in a staircase = VERY fun!
your right ;)

tonights the last time i will cry. i wanted to be strong. i was. but it didnt last. its my fault. i just want to disapear. life alone would be better. because then no one can ever reject you ( Read more... )

i am such a girl. i never get over things. boys move on. when will i ( Read more... )

new years was fun. i drank. no different then any day. but its ok. i drank a lot. i smoked too. a lot of shotties. i was pretty high too. i got a bunch of happy new year phone calls. it was nice. i saw that guy today. "that guy". he gave me a kiss on the cheek. he wanted to see me. like spend time with me. last night i wanted him to come see me. ( Read more... )

i cried after(two days ago). he tried kissing me. i held the tears in. he tried to understand. but he wasnt really with me. not after. after is always the worst. once theyre done, theyre gone. its always the same. i want someone who will stay. i want silence with him. hes far away in so many ways. hes being kicked out of his appartment. where will ( Read more... )

i called him. she picked up. that sucks. i really am a bitch, she is right. i think shes the bitch, but look at the situation. shes his girl, what am i? he loved her, he barely knows me. i should stop it. why cant i? i am so messed up. i really feel like shes a bitch, but what if i was her. i was her. ive been cheated on. i hated that girl, i ( Read more... )

well i havent really been myself. ive been doing things that are way too wild and crazy. i let people see me, and they leave. i trust people too quickly when they will never trust me. i am always wrong. ive been doing things that i cant keep up with and it doesnt really phase me. and thats the only part that scares me. i only want a friend, someone ( Read more... )