so this is the end of my livejournal i think. i just dont feel like writing in it anymore. i guess the only thing that kept me writing in here was that one person i thought i loved. but now that, that person is completely outta my life so is my LJ. lol. its funny because she was the only reason why i got this thing started AND the only thing that ( Read more... )

so yea.....right now im all the way in fuckin de kalb, illinois at my friend natalie's, ive known this fucker since 3rd grade and still the bitch hasnt changed. hehehe, and i say that with love. ive been thinking alot lately. and for once its not about past relationships. its more about future ones. how in the hell am i ever gonna be able to find ( Read more... )

elisa, mercedez, my uncle rick, and i all went over his brand new apartment to go drinking then go to summerdance. so we went, he got dressed, and got a call from marisa, max, and rocio to go pick em up from the train station. so he left us three there to go pick them up, and when they got there, they saw that me n mercedez had already drank alot ( ( Read more... )

so yea i missed work today because of personal issues.i had yet another dream of this girl again. but this one was different. i was with her and my other ex gf lauren. and when she left me, i went back to lauren because of how much she reminded me of her. i thought the only way i could have the girl i loved was by having one that reminded me of her ( Read more... )

im sitting here with elisa and were both just wondering what we must have done wrong. being emo is definitely not our thing, but lately thats all that kinda relieves us from the pain we've both got. she misses her rey and i miss my ash, but we both know that no matter what we do and no matter what we say, theyre not gonna come back to save us. so ( Read more... )

last night i called ashlee thinking she wasnt going to answer and she did. so we talk for about an hour and a half. about alot. about family. relationships. spiders in her moms car. lol. i was so suprised she actually picked up the phone and talked to me for that long. i was happy in some ways and crushed in others. happy i finally got to talk to ( Read more... )

so today was ashlee's aunt maureen's funeral. :( im sorry ash....your aunt mo is in a better place free of pain, like you said. you and ur family will make it through this.....itll take some time, but ur all strong, and will get through it fine. today is also andy's birthday party. theres market days at boystown too and i dont wanna miss that ( Read more... )

so im home here now. with the worse fuckin hangover ever. we went to connies at midnight had some pizza and appetizers. at summerdance before we left, i met the lead singer of the homicidal squirrels, the lead singer of echo 9, and a couple days ago i met the lead singer of i-attack. got hugs from all of them! yes! but yea i was drunk as hell as ( Read more... )

its been over a month and still i cant stop but think about her. what the fuck is wrong with me???? why cant i just walk throughout the day without stopping to think...what is she doing right now? is she missing me at all?.....i bet not at all.why do i cry like the emo little bitch that i never was? what ever happened to that hardcore i dont give a ( Read more... )

i keep having these dreams that wake me up feeling the happiest i could be, then realize its bullshit. i had a dream that i was at prom with the girl all over again. my uncle ricky had picked us up in this kick ass half red half silver car. it was crazy looking!!! but yea, he dropped us off and we went in met all of her friends and they remembered ( Read more... )