I don't know what to do because I do what I feel comfortable doing. The rest is just scary and yet again I am reminded of why I don't belong in this shit box that is the human cesspool of human society. First I crash my car, being tired from overworking just to try to get ahead and worrying about whether my mom would be mad (I am an adult full ( Read more... )

I wish I could have her back but I know in my heart she would never give me another chance. I am all out of chances. It was way too short and I miss and love her so much. I'd do anything to get her back. Anything but tell her so. I don't want to lose her so ignoring the pain in my heart is going to stay the story of my life. I just want someone to ( Read more... )

I always fuck things up. (I am sick of being yelled at and I am sick of failing.) That is why I don't have a car right now that is why I don't have a girl anymore and that is why I will end up homeless and alone. (I just want something to look forward to) I don't know why I she has to be so beautiful and I don't know why I have to be constantly ( Read more... )

I will always love her.

jealousy and inadequacy take over my thoughts. I'd be good, thoughtful, loyal and romantic if only I could break into someone's thoughts. I will have to find my own strength and not find fuel for my will by having the love for another. Is it possible? So far ... so far it hasn't been good ( Read more... )

Should I take her off my Facebook or should I just stop looking at facebook? It hurts too much. Is humanity just a cause for pain for me now? Is living too late for me now? I want to go back but I can't so I want it to end. It is too hard to stop thinking of what could have beens and what I still want but can't have and not what I can try to do. I ( Read more... )

here is a question. If you were in love with someone would you still want to be friends with that person? If it hurt too much to know they were with someone else and you could never be with them again and they feel about someone else the way you feel about them, is it more healthy to have no contact with them not even facebook? I have a hard time ( Read more... )

If I had a second chance I would fight for her. I don't care if it is selfish she is too important to me. I want to move closer to her. I wish I could figure out love before but now it just means hurt because I don't want anyone else. One of the things I worried about was that my physical attraction to her was too strong and my experience was non ( Read more... )

Nothing has changed. I am still stuck in limbo. Purgatory until D-day. I could put up more of a fight but I see the abyss and all I see is emptiness ( Read more... )

I had a friend over at my house. This is monumental because this was the first non family member that I've had over at my house since I've moved here from montreal.