omg omg omg ( Read more... )

okay so, i usually wear sweat pants causei donno.. i dont like pants cause they show off my shape. so anyways i tried on these jeans today that used to be baggy on me, theyre guess jeans. anddd theyre too tight. AHH. how much did i eat over christmas? no more fucking around. i need to stop eating. FUCK. im so grossss. im going to book mark good ( Read more... )

wowwww rough night. soo i spent the night in the emergency room last night for anxiety attacks and depression and suicidal attempts.. new medication, atarax 25mg for anxiety. fucking bullshit. they couldve gave me something better like valium at least. fuck my life. and i got in a fight with adam. over nothing. but i know hes losing inerest in me. ( Read more... )

he doesnt want me anymore. he probably never did. i cant do this anymore. im still eating, im still fat. i dont want to do this. i want to leave. but most of all i want him. i need him to love me. im going to die. im so afraid im going to do something, and i know ill go through with whatever i come up with to make this bullshit stop. fuck my life.

so its beena while since ive posted, but i have a new laptop so ill post almost every day now. hm sooo, trevor left me and moved to ontario, and when he got up there he got a job at a green house and his arm went in a roller and crushed it. anddd now im with adam but not WITH him because he doesnt want to be WITH me even though we do everything ( Read more... )

11 weeks since my last post. thats a bitch of a long time. nothing new really. same weight. same depression. same hobbies. new school. NOT the same boyfriend. after over two years i finally dumped trevor. he treats me like shit. he doesnt listen. he doesnt know me or bother to try. i'll be in his car having an anxiety attack crying and he wont want ( Read more... )

so my sister selena was here with her baby isabel and her boyfriend johnny. johnny left after a few days. selena tells me i eat like shit. which reminded me of what im here to accomplish ( Read more... )

    sooo ive been doing e a lot lately. like a few every day since my last post. and im losing weight like hard. im so full all the time. but i havent done any ecstacy today but where i havent ate in a week im not even interested really. all ive had this whole WEEk is a popsicle im having now because its SO hot out, and like 3 dinner rolls. in a ( Read more... )

ugh
so i'm a month late
not sure if it's because my eating is fucked or because i actually am knocked up.
sometimes i dont eat at all and sometimes i binged like fat bastard from austin powers.
mmm been super depressed lately.
i hate life.

hope everyone's good [:
well, i haven't gone over my calorie limit today.
proud i guess.
but all i did today was sleep.. so
i guess i shouldn't get any credit if i wasn't concious
um, haven't been to school in a month.
always too depressed.
broke up with boyfriend yesturday.
which makes me even more depressed thus i don't eat.
but i don't feel extremely ( Read more... )