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Comments 96

stardust_made December 30 2011, 07:59:09 UTC
I just wanted to say that a) my feeling is that the fact that you are in the US f***ks up things a lot, because MAN, the stereotypes, the artificial rules and boundaries, the superficial norms-all of them created by both the individual and the collective subconscious in a desperate attempt to somehow contain the massive, overwhelming anxiety that 'Life-we might be doing it quite wrong.' (I'm sorry about throwing another stereotype at you, but it's very early in the morning where I am, and my censcorship is still dazed.) Of course, not everyone American swims under that flag, but a lot of people do. (No wonder the US comes first in all studies of peer pressure in the school years.) Same in the entire Western world. But you will get less of that wedding/baby hype in Europe. And a lot less of that in some parts of Europe. Not to mention other parts of the world, where people are just concerned to have the baby healthy and well, and to be able to provide it with good care. Like I can see that you do, like a sensible future mother ( ... )

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kaalee December 30 2011, 19:05:16 UTC
You know, I had wondered about this. I'm a big fan of a lot of things in my country, but there are also a whole bunch of things that I would like to phase out. One of them is this rampant division of gender that I see all over -- even at work, where I work with these amazing, thoughtful, dedicated people, so many of them (when pregnant) were so excited to find out "pink or blue??" when they were going for their ultrasound (even going to far as to post it that way on Facebook) and I was so surprised by that. Even in some of the places I've been visting to price and look at things tend to divide things by "boys clothing" and "girls clothing" and I Just Don't Get It.

and thank you. I needed another perspective to remind me that I'm doing it right. Also, I'd love to (at some point) learn more about where you're from and etc...). Europe is such an amazingly rich place and I've only visited a very few parts of it, which is such a shame.

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kath_ballantyne December 30 2011, 08:20:44 UTC
Yeah I think people just want to know what to buy you if you want matching stuff.
Never heard of it myself.

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kaalee December 30 2011, 19:05:48 UTC
Maybe they wanted to make sure they were getting the "right John Watson" stuff? :P

heh. :)

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ngaio December 30 2011, 08:34:15 UTC
I don't so much think you fail at 'girl' as fail at 'person who's had their needs and expectations warped by society and the media into believing there are superficial things that 'should' be done' - which, you know, is a good fail!

::hugs::

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kaalee December 30 2011, 19:06:40 UTC
That is such a good point. I think I was surprised by people's reactions to *my* reaction at their question.

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shocolate December 30 2011, 09:49:32 UTC
They're idiots.

It's a baby. It'll enjoy vomiting and peeing and making faces when it poos.

It won't have an opinion on decor.

Predecorating someone else's room for them is madness. Mine both slept with us for two years and then had their own opinions on what they wanted in their big girl/boy rooms.

I don't do nurseries, but I'll paint a rainbow that someone asks for.

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kaalee December 30 2011, 19:58:54 UTC
See, I knew you'd have good words for this. ♥

thank you. :)

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slashfairy December 30 2011, 10:32:48 UTC
all that stuff - that 'how to be a girl checklist' feeling- god, i know that ( ... )

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kaalee December 30 2011, 20:01:20 UTC
It's so weird, because when I think about it logically, I know all of this. But yet, in the face of things, when someone asks, "and what's your theme?" and then I look at them blankly, and then their returning look, just throws me off a bit. I think I need to come up with a better response, one that will be polite and respectful, but will also let me feel like I'm showing what I'm trying to say, which is: "don't pigeonhole my baby, please. She's going to be her own person."

and thank you. ♥

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