ending 2015
Before I write anything in 2016, here's some ficathon stuff (written both in 2015 & 2016):
fics I had the chance to write (for the rookies ficathon):
listen to this letter
seulgi/rap monster | romance, G | 902w
[I wanna say something, but Im not good with words, so here you go]
He met her, forehead to forehead, at the halls of a broadcasting station one afternoon. Her, running between schedules, and him, busy reading an article on his phone of an interview with his favorite rapper. They both fell so hard from the crash his headphones got plucked out of his phone. A 90s Hip Hop tune blasted from the phone so he scrambled to turn it off before checking the other person on the floor.
“I’m sorry”, he said to the girl who was trying to stand and helped pull her up. She just smiled and said “I’m okay”, before mentioning the title of the song he was listening to before. Shocked, he couldn’t fight the urge to ask, “wait, you listen to this kind of Hip Hop too?” She smiled sheepishly, “nah, not really. I just listen to it a lot because it's a good song to dance to.” He was going to talk a lot about the song and more songs similar to it, but she suddenly slapped her forehead, “I’m sorry, but I just remembered I have something to do. I’d love to talk about all this with you, but I gotta go. Maybe we could talk again? See you later!”, and ran, leaving him stunned.
They didn’t meet until a week later, but by the time they do, her name was already too familiar on his tongue.
1. 비스윗 (BESWEET) - Can’t Stop
Namjoon thought he liked Seulgi because he found a friend whom he can discuss music and aspirations with. He thought he liked her the way he would’ve liked any other girl.
He hadn’t realised that he loved those cute narrow eyes of hers, and the way it gets even smaller when she smiles. The way that they speak of interest and compassion when she talks to people. And the way they make him feel he's worth way much more than he thought he did.
He hadn’t realised that he loved her lips, the way she purses them when she’s focusing on something. The way its corners so easily lift up at the smallest things, and the way they send butterflies to his stomach every time it happens.
He hadn’t realised that he loved her presence. The way it magically loosens up all tense muscles in his body. The way it makes every little thing better. The way he wants her to stay so he can feel it all the time.
2. 40 - 듣는편지
One night, in the fall, they were sitting on the swings at the playground near her apartment when he gave her a small package wrapped with brown paper. She expected it being a CD, because he lends her CDs of his favorite artists sometimes.
“Listen to it before you sleep tonight, okay?”, he said while swinging back and forth. “Okay, I’ll tell you what I think of it tomorrow morning. Who is this? Kanye or…?”, she asked, in which he just told her to listen to it first. She just laughed and stood up, “come on let’s go home, it’s late”, and they went their separate ways with a talk to you later.
She opens the package to see a CD in it’s case, written on it:
“I wanna say something
but I’m not good with words
so here you go”
That’s a lie, she thought. He’s anything but ‘not good with words’.
She played the CD on her laptop, and the first sound that came up was his voice, saying:
Hi Seulgi. Please don’t be surprised. And don’t worry because you’re not gonna hear my ugly voice again throughout the rest of the CD. He chuckled and sniffled to start speaking again. But yeah I hope you pay close attention to all of the songs here. Umm... yeah.
His voice disappeared and the first song started playing.
3. PRIMARY, 오혁 feat. Lim Kim - 공드리
A phone call came in at 12.45 am, just when she finished the last song in the CD. The name Namjoon was shown on the screen. She picked it up, didn’t greet him and just said, “it says here that you want to tell me something.”
“Oh. Um, yeah, I’m in front of your place right now, can you come out?”, he asked her. She said nothing and hung up.
He was going to call her again when she came to him all wrapped up in a fuzzy oversized knitted sweater, jeans, and slip-on shoes. “Have you listened to the CD?”, his voice sounded like he was hiding a whole mixture of feelings.
“Hmm. But I don’t think you’re not good with words”, was all she said.
“But have you listened to it?”, he started to get impatient.
“Yes.” She opened her mouth to say something, but he abruptly interjected, “wanna go for a walk first?” She nodded, and so they walked under the dim streetlights.
4. Lauryn Hill - Nothing Even Matters
It was over video call one night that she started doubting their decision regarding their relationship.
“Namjoon-ah?”
“Hmm?”
“What if they find out about us? You know, the company, your fans, my fans, everyone. What should we do then?”
He thinks for a long time before answering, “I really don’t think there’s a right answer to that. But right now I just want to be with you. And honestly I don’t care about how the public would react as long as we could stay like this.”
5. HONNE - Warm on a Cold Night
He never gets it before why people glorify love so much, but recently he thought he was getting the gist of it.
of coffees & phone calls
wheein/s.coups | crack, probably, G | 1227w
[was it the coffee you spilled or was it you that melted me?]
"That would be 14,000 won," the barista says as she hands 2 cups of hot coffee and 2 cups of iced ones to him and Wonwoo.
He gives her the amount she stated with a thank you and turns to head outside, where the other two were waiting earlier-except now he can see through the window that they're talking to a girl. Jung Wheein, a girl he recognises, but hardly knows about. He doesn't mean to stare, but Seungcheol thinks it's (kind of, a little tiny bit) cute how she's talking so enthusiastically, eyes opened wide and hands moving.
He was struggling to open the door when she patted Hansol's shoulder as she was leaving. When he's finally out of the cafe, something hits him from the side, and suddenly all he can feel is the heat on his torso all the way to his thighs. He quickly pulls the front of his shirt away from his body, drops the cups he was holding, and grabs the tissues in Wonwoo's hand to wipe his body along with repetitive exclaims of "ow ow ow" out of his mouth.
"Oh my god," a girl's voice brings him back to present time. He lifts his head and shifts his sight from his chest and sees a shocked face of a girl.
"I am so so so so sorry I was hurrying because Yongsun unnie- so I-,“ her eyes turns to the paper cups on the floor and widens, "oh god your coffee-please wait here, don't go anywhere," she says as she runs in to the cafe and straight to the barista behind the cash register.
She comes back with two of the same paper cups in her hands, face still panicking, and goes straight to the boy with huge brown stains on his shirt. "I hope these are right-I told the barista to give me the same ones she did to you, so I hope she has a good memory. I'm so sorry about your coffee, and your shirt oh my god your shirt," she puts her hands so they're cupping the sides of her face.
"You know what? Hansol has my number," she points to his member behind him, "please call me if they can't clean the shirt. I really need to go right now, I'm so so sorry. Please do call if your shirt is permanently ruined, I'm sorry once again," she bows multiple times and runs to the black van parking nearby, leaving Seungcheol speechless.
Two days later, he sees his shirt, clean and pristine, in the Washed-Laundries Pile. He inspects every inch of it-just in case-to find nothing wrong.
(He admits he might be a little disappointed at that)
He wears the shirt and gets ready to leave for today’s schedule.
He’s in the car with the hip-hop team plus Seokmin and Jeonghan, on the way to a music show. The kids are playing around as usual behind him in the back seats, when Mingyu suddenly exclaims, “Ew hyung you wore that shirt just a few days ago, don’t you have other clothes?”
“This was on top of the pile,” he answers with an indifferent front while going through last night’s practice video on his phone.
“Oh wait, didn’t Wheein noona spill coffee on that?” Wonwoo chimes in, “the shirt looks okay though, guess the stains were nothing after all.”
“You know hyung, if you still want her number, I can give it to you anyway,” Hansol says scrolling his phone.
Hansol sent you a contact, he reads the notification on his phone, heart suddenly beating faster at the thought of having phone calls with her.
“You should call her. She said she was considering about finding a boyfriend. She was annoyed that the headlines only mentioned Vernon and Newsun at first,” Mingyu says from behind his shoulder, resting his chin on the shoulder of Seungcheol's seat. The statement is welcomed with a big OOOOHHH from the other members, and then some comments, mostly agreeing to Mingyu’s suggestion.
He remembers the ruckus concerning one of his members last week. So that was what they were talking about so enthusiastically, he thinks. Not that I care, though, he says to himself, denying his own feelings.
“Shush guys, enough. You should go memorize the changes for today,” he says, trying to be composed and all leader-like.
Dial tone.
“Hello?” A girl’s voice answers the phone from the other side.
“Hello? Wheein-ssi?” He says, suddenly not feeling ready.
“Yes? Who’s this?” She sounds a bit more cautious now, probably has fans or stalkers calling her, Seungcheol thinks as he tries to hold himself together so he sounds as normal as possible.
“It’s Seungcheol-ah no-it’s S.Coups? We met the other day at the café near KBS building?”
She gasps. “Oh my god, what’s wrong? Your shirt is ruined isn’t it? Of course it would, it was a lot of coffee. I’m gonna buy you a new one so can you please take a photo of your shirt and-,“ she immediately says a string of words and he stops him before the conversation strays from the reason he called.
“Oh no, you really don’t have to,” he cuts her words, “that’s not why I called, the shirt is totally ok-the stains disappeared completely.”
“Aw it’s okay I’ll take responsibility- Wait what?” She was probably ready to push and pull with him about the shirt, so he can hear from her voice that she was taken aback.
“Yeah well the shirt was okay, really,” he said. Okay here goes nothing, “I called because I feel bad for the coffee, because it wasn’t entirely your fault. I want to repay you, so… maybe we could get a cup-or two cups, because that’s what you got me-of coffee sometime?” There. It’s finally out.
“Oh,” was all she said. And then silence. (Or not really, because he swears he can hear muffled chattering of girls through the phone.)
“…Hello?” He checks if the phone was still on, a bit nervous and just about ready to be disappointed. “If you don’t want to-or maybe you don’t like coffee-that’s okay too. I can tell Hansol to give you the money,” he’s feeling hopeless by this point. He's thinking that maybe it wasn’t a good idea after all.
“No, no, I would love to,” she answers. He is surprised at her words, and had to make sure that it meant what he thinks it meant, “Sorry, what?”
“Yeah let’s go get coffee sometime,” she says again.
“Yeah. Cool. Okay. I’ll text you more about when and where?”
“Sure,” he thinks he can hear an amused smile from her answer.
He hangs up.
He goes back to the waiting room all smiles and sunshine, and it’s like the world is a better place for you and for me and the entire human race (he thinks so anyway).
He whistles a happy tune and nods his head to the rhythm while his hair was done. The hairdressers have to tell him off because he keeps moving (do you want your hair to look like a palm tree?! STOP MOVING, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL).
“Your leader is such a dork,” Mingyu tells Wonwoo, shaking his head.
“He’s your leader too,” Wonwoo returns the comment.
“Unfortunately,” Mingyu says as he sighs heavily.
when we were young
jb/irene | romance, angst, PG, [warning]character death| 1621w
[Jaebum didnt believe in the concept of soulmates]
Jaebum didn’t believe in the concept of soulmate; of the notion that every human is made for another and that the world, somehow, will bring them together in a certain point in their lives.
He still doesn’t.
“Psst, excuse me, can I please see your notes?”
The first words she said to him. College, Korean History, March 2014.
He looked over his shoulder to the girl behind her staring at him with puppy eyes, involuntarily raised his eyebrows, and handed his notes over. He looked at her face and couldn’t help but notice that she was pretty, too pretty.
He hated girls like her. Pretty girls who don’t even listen in class, who get into law school because daddy told them so, just for the prestige. He peeked again to see if she was finished copying and found that she fell asleep on top of her notes. He rolled his eyes, took his notes, and turned his attention back to the lecturer.
She caught up to him when the lecture ended and he was walking out of the room. She insisted to treat him to lunch, and after another round of puppy eyes from her, he finally agreed on meeting at the cafeteria 1 p.m. the next day.
Lunches turned into study sessions, and study sessions turned into get-to-know-each-other sessions. Jaebum wasn’t the type of guy who opened up to people, especially about his thoughts and personal worries. That was why he came off as cold and unfriendly. But something about Joohyun made him comfortable. Maybe it was the fact that she could enjoy solitude as he did, maybe it was because she also came off as cold but was a dork like him, and maybe he just did because she was Joohyun.
Soon enough, he learned that her uncalculated and seemingly rude words were her form of affection; that she wouldn’t be that way to people she didn’t feel comfortable with. She learned that Jaebum was short-tempered, that it had something to do with his pride, but also that he never meant bad when he told someone off. He came to know about her habits when she was thinking hard, tidy eyebrows meeting just above her nose. She learned his favorite food, and the foods he hated, and ate them because “it would be a waste to throw away my delicious cooking”. He, also learned that Joohyun would always miss class on first Mondays of a month, “monthly general check up from dad’s company,” she said, “gotta use all dem freebies, right?” And he would miss her, even when, most of the time, they would meet again at campus the next day (some times she took another 1-2 days off).
One day, they were planning to study together for their finals, so they went to the library. It was 2 a.m., but there was still a fair amount of people studying there. Both of them was tired, drained, so she was reading her book with her head resting on the table, and he was still sitting up, but also snoozing off, head bobbing left and right.
“I can’t go on like this. Let’s go somewhere,” Joohyun slammed her book closed and said, grabbing his head on its sides. Blearily, he stood up when she grabbed his hand and pulled it, let go of her hand, and walked across the long tables to her side.
“Let’s go to the river,” she said. He just answered with a hmm, still sleepy and all. They wait for a bus, and all the while, Joohyun just looked at him, the Jaebum with half-opened eyes.
They silently went on the bus to the stop nearest to the Han River. He almost fell asleep when she did first, head falling on Jaebum’s shoulder. He looked at the top of her head and he could see her long, pretty eyelashes, her tiny pink lips, and wondered-consciously, for the second time since they talked for the first time-how could a person be this gorgeous? But that time, the word applied to so much more than her physique.
They arrived at the bus stop and walked to the bank of the river. They sat on the grass, feet extended straight in front of them, both of them facing the river. They leaned on each other, her head on his shoulder and his head on her head.
“I didn’t come here to sleep,” she said, still in the same position. “But I think that’s my motivation though,” he replied.
She lifted her head, pushing his head up, hurting it a little. “No way. Let’s play a game,” she said, eyes opening wide and staring at him while he was still rubbing the side of his head.
“I ask a ‘what if’ question and you reply with what you would do, say, or feel. Honestly. Okay? After you answer, you ask me a ‘what if’ question,” she proposed.
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” he answered, eyes looking far to the river.
“What if I pinch you right now?” She started.
“I would be less sleepy, but I would want to leave you here alone.”
She pinched him. He frowned at her. But he didn’t leave.
“What if I fail the exam tomorrow?” He asked.
“You lied. You didn’t leave. Answer truthfully, stupid,” she flicked his ear, “You wouldn’t fail. But if you do, we’ll probably fail together.”
“Fair enough,” he said.
“What if I tell you I’ve been paying attention to you before we first spoke?” She asked her second question.
“Then I would call you a creep,” he said, grinning at her, “does it make you my creeper though?”
“Ew, are you trying to be cheesy? Stop it,” she slapped his back.
“What if I tell you that you’re kinda pretty right now?” his eyes are staring at her. She was pretty. The dim lights of the walking road behind them and the lights of the bridge close to where they were were making her look like some kind of a creature of the night in fairytales. Like a night fairy, or something.
She was unfazed, “I’d say you must be blind if you only realized it now,” she said while flipping her hair.
He scrunched his face, displaying mock disgust. She laughed her signature crispy laugh. She stopped for a moment and continued to ask another question.
“What if I say I love you?” Her face was serious, eyes glimmering and looking far in front of her.
He was taken aback, so he turned his face to her, searching for the truth in her face. His words got caught in his throat.
Silence. Her eyes got shinier, it was brimming with tears.
“I’d say I love you too,” his hand moved to touch her chin. She flinched a little, but he started moving his hand to the sides of her face to turn it toward him. He stared at her face and moved closer toward her, then put his lips on hers, softly. He could feel her tears falling, brushing their lips slightly. Their lips separated and he hugged her, holding her while she sobbed. She sobbed, and he didn’t know why.
It was a Wednesday, 6 months after that night. His phone flashed in the middle of the night, caller ID showing that it was her. He picked it up, smiling, “miss me?” he asked through the phone, playfully.
The person on the other side stayed quiet for a few seconds. He thought it was odd, but before he opened his mouth to ask, a voice of a middle-aged woman went through his ears. “Jaebum?” the voice asked.
He was puzzled, he wasn’t expecting to hear the voice of Joohyun’s mom through the phone, especially not at this time of the night.
The news struck him like lightning. No, what struck him the most was that the news wasn’t supposed to be news. What struck him most was that she had been sick for a very long time but he had never known. He hadn’t read the signs. He hadn’t even suspected. He thought he was quick-witted, but how could he be so dense about this matter?
It pained him to hear that she had been calling his name since she was admitted. It pained him, the fact that she had told everyone-everyone-in her life not to tell him. And it pained him that because of the two reasons, she had been fighting pain while longing for him, and she had chosen to go through that.
He visited her every day after class, getting angrier day by day. Angry with her parents and friends for obeying her, and not telling him a single fucking thing. Angry with her for thinking she would’ve spared him the pain if she hadn't told him. Angry at the God-whichever that was-for making her go through all that. Angry at Fate, for bringing them together. Angry at himself for being stupid.
But being angry didn’t make her heal, so he clung his heart on every beat of the green lines on the monitor and stayed with her, hoping to have a little bit more time with her. Just a bit longer.
She left on a spring day, April 2016, just a little above 2 years after they first talked.
Jaebum doesn’t believe in the concept of soulmates. If it was true, then she would be here with him. He wants to believe it; he wants to believe that they would meet again in the next life. But he doesn’t, because what matter is that she’s not with him anymore in this life.
He looks at the name on the tomb in his forties and blinks away the tear threatening to fall from his eyes.
Aaaand, fills for my prompts :')
guardian angel - wheein/jimin - AU ( i, ii) by eternal_hopes
don't blink - jr/suzy - AU by kurdoodle
don't say a word - jonghyun/iu - AU by michaelchang
*whispers* they're great go check them out (I mean the fills to my prompts) (not my fics) (but if you wanna check them out that's ok too)
fics I had the chance to write (for the rookies ficathon):
listen to this letter
seulgi/rap monster | romance, G | 902w
[I wanna say something, but Im not good with words, so here you go]
He met her, forehead to forehead, at the halls of a broadcasting station one afternoon. Her, running between schedules, and him, busy reading an article on his phone of an interview with his favorite rapper. They both fell so hard from the crash his headphones got plucked out of his phone. A 90s Hip Hop tune blasted from the phone so he scrambled to turn it off before checking the other person on the floor.
“I’m sorry”, he said to the girl who was trying to stand and helped pull her up. She just smiled and said “I’m okay”, before mentioning the title of the song he was listening to before. Shocked, he couldn’t fight the urge to ask, “wait, you listen to this kind of Hip Hop too?” She smiled sheepishly, “nah, not really. I just listen to it a lot because it's a good song to dance to.” He was going to talk a lot about the song and more songs similar to it, but she suddenly slapped her forehead, “I’m sorry, but I just remembered I have something to do. I’d love to talk about all this with you, but I gotta go. Maybe we could talk again? See you later!”, and ran, leaving him stunned.
They didn’t meet until a week later, but by the time they do, her name was already too familiar on his tongue.
1. 비스윗 (BESWEET) - Can’t Stop
Namjoon thought he liked Seulgi because he found a friend whom he can discuss music and aspirations with. He thought he liked her the way he would’ve liked any other girl.
He hadn’t realised that he loved those cute narrow eyes of hers, and the way it gets even smaller when she smiles. The way that they speak of interest and compassion when she talks to people. And the way they make him feel he's worth way much more than he thought he did.
He hadn’t realised that he loved her lips, the way she purses them when she’s focusing on something. The way its corners so easily lift up at the smallest things, and the way they send butterflies to his stomach every time it happens.
He hadn’t realised that he loved her presence. The way it magically loosens up all tense muscles in his body. The way it makes every little thing better. The way he wants her to stay so he can feel it all the time.
2. 40 - 듣는편지
One night, in the fall, they were sitting on the swings at the playground near her apartment when he gave her a small package wrapped with brown paper. She expected it being a CD, because he lends her CDs of his favorite artists sometimes.
“Listen to it before you sleep tonight, okay?”, he said while swinging back and forth. “Okay, I’ll tell you what I think of it tomorrow morning. Who is this? Kanye or…?”, she asked, in which he just told her to listen to it first. She just laughed and stood up, “come on let’s go home, it’s late”, and they went their separate ways with a talk to you later.
She opens the package to see a CD in it’s case, written on it:
“I wanna say something
but I’m not good with words
so here you go”
That’s a lie, she thought. He’s anything but ‘not good with words’.
She played the CD on her laptop, and the first sound that came up was his voice, saying:
Hi Seulgi. Please don’t be surprised. And don’t worry because you’re not gonna hear my ugly voice again throughout the rest of the CD. He chuckled and sniffled to start speaking again. But yeah I hope you pay close attention to all of the songs here. Umm... yeah.
His voice disappeared and the first song started playing.
3. PRIMARY, 오혁 feat. Lim Kim - 공드리
A phone call came in at 12.45 am, just when she finished the last song in the CD. The name Namjoon was shown on the screen. She picked it up, didn’t greet him and just said, “it says here that you want to tell me something.”
“Oh. Um, yeah, I’m in front of your place right now, can you come out?”, he asked her. She said nothing and hung up.
He was going to call her again when she came to him all wrapped up in a fuzzy oversized knitted sweater, jeans, and slip-on shoes. “Have you listened to the CD?”, his voice sounded like he was hiding a whole mixture of feelings.
“Hmm. But I don’t think you’re not good with words”, was all she said.
“But have you listened to it?”, he started to get impatient.
“Yes.” She opened her mouth to say something, but he abruptly interjected, “wanna go for a walk first?” She nodded, and so they walked under the dim streetlights.
4. Lauryn Hill - Nothing Even Matters
It was over video call one night that she started doubting their decision regarding their relationship.
“Namjoon-ah?”
“Hmm?”
“What if they find out about us? You know, the company, your fans, my fans, everyone. What should we do then?”
He thinks for a long time before answering, “I really don’t think there’s a right answer to that. But right now I just want to be with you. And honestly I don’t care about how the public would react as long as we could stay like this.”
5. HONNE - Warm on a Cold Night
He never gets it before why people glorify love so much, but recently he thought he was getting the gist of it.
of coffees & phone calls
wheein/s.coups | crack, probably, G | 1227w
[was it the coffee you spilled or was it you that melted me?]
"That would be 14,000 won," the barista says as she hands 2 cups of hot coffee and 2 cups of iced ones to him and Wonwoo.
He gives her the amount she stated with a thank you and turns to head outside, where the other two were waiting earlier-except now he can see through the window that they're talking to a girl. Jung Wheein, a girl he recognises, but hardly knows about. He doesn't mean to stare, but Seungcheol thinks it's (kind of, a little tiny bit) cute how she's talking so enthusiastically, eyes opened wide and hands moving.
He was struggling to open the door when she patted Hansol's shoulder as she was leaving. When he's finally out of the cafe, something hits him from the side, and suddenly all he can feel is the heat on his torso all the way to his thighs. He quickly pulls the front of his shirt away from his body, drops the cups he was holding, and grabs the tissues in Wonwoo's hand to wipe his body along with repetitive exclaims of "ow ow ow" out of his mouth.
"Oh my god," a girl's voice brings him back to present time. He lifts his head and shifts his sight from his chest and sees a shocked face of a girl.
"I am so so so so sorry I was hurrying because Yongsun unnie- so I-,“ her eyes turns to the paper cups on the floor and widens, "oh god your coffee-please wait here, don't go anywhere," she says as she runs in to the cafe and straight to the barista behind the cash register.
She comes back with two of the same paper cups in her hands, face still panicking, and goes straight to the boy with huge brown stains on his shirt. "I hope these are right-I told the barista to give me the same ones she did to you, so I hope she has a good memory. I'm so sorry about your coffee, and your shirt oh my god your shirt," she puts her hands so they're cupping the sides of her face.
"You know what? Hansol has my number," she points to his member behind him, "please call me if they can't clean the shirt. I really need to go right now, I'm so so sorry. Please do call if your shirt is permanently ruined, I'm sorry once again," she bows multiple times and runs to the black van parking nearby, leaving Seungcheol speechless.
Two days later, he sees his shirt, clean and pristine, in the Washed-Laundries Pile. He inspects every inch of it-just in case-to find nothing wrong.
(He admits he might be a little disappointed at that)
He wears the shirt and gets ready to leave for today’s schedule.
He’s in the car with the hip-hop team plus Seokmin and Jeonghan, on the way to a music show. The kids are playing around as usual behind him in the back seats, when Mingyu suddenly exclaims, “Ew hyung you wore that shirt just a few days ago, don’t you have other clothes?”
“This was on top of the pile,” he answers with an indifferent front while going through last night’s practice video on his phone.
“Oh wait, didn’t Wheein noona spill coffee on that?” Wonwoo chimes in, “the shirt looks okay though, guess the stains were nothing after all.”
“You know hyung, if you still want her number, I can give it to you anyway,” Hansol says scrolling his phone.
Hansol sent you a contact, he reads the notification on his phone, heart suddenly beating faster at the thought of having phone calls with her.
“You should call her. She said she was considering about finding a boyfriend. She was annoyed that the headlines only mentioned Vernon and Newsun at first,” Mingyu says from behind his shoulder, resting his chin on the shoulder of Seungcheol's seat. The statement is welcomed with a big OOOOHHH from the other members, and then some comments, mostly agreeing to Mingyu’s suggestion.
He remembers the ruckus concerning one of his members last week. So that was what they were talking about so enthusiastically, he thinks. Not that I care, though, he says to himself, denying his own feelings.
“Shush guys, enough. You should go memorize the changes for today,” he says, trying to be composed and all leader-like.
Dial tone.
“Hello?” A girl’s voice answers the phone from the other side.
“Hello? Wheein-ssi?” He says, suddenly not feeling ready.
“Yes? Who’s this?” She sounds a bit more cautious now, probably has fans or stalkers calling her, Seungcheol thinks as he tries to hold himself together so he sounds as normal as possible.
“It’s Seungcheol-ah no-it’s S.Coups? We met the other day at the café near KBS building?”
She gasps. “Oh my god, what’s wrong? Your shirt is ruined isn’t it? Of course it would, it was a lot of coffee. I’m gonna buy you a new one so can you please take a photo of your shirt and-,“ she immediately says a string of words and he stops him before the conversation strays from the reason he called.
“Oh no, you really don’t have to,” he cuts her words, “that’s not why I called, the shirt is totally ok-the stains disappeared completely.”
“Aw it’s okay I’ll take responsibility- Wait what?” She was probably ready to push and pull with him about the shirt, so he can hear from her voice that she was taken aback.
“Yeah well the shirt was okay, really,” he said. Okay here goes nothing, “I called because I feel bad for the coffee, because it wasn’t entirely your fault. I want to repay you, so… maybe we could get a cup-or two cups, because that’s what you got me-of coffee sometime?” There. It’s finally out.
“Oh,” was all she said. And then silence. (Or not really, because he swears he can hear muffled chattering of girls through the phone.)
“…Hello?” He checks if the phone was still on, a bit nervous and just about ready to be disappointed. “If you don’t want to-or maybe you don’t like coffee-that’s okay too. I can tell Hansol to give you the money,” he’s feeling hopeless by this point. He's thinking that maybe it wasn’t a good idea after all.
“No, no, I would love to,” she answers. He is surprised at her words, and had to make sure that it meant what he thinks it meant, “Sorry, what?”
“Yeah let’s go get coffee sometime,” she says again.
“Yeah. Cool. Okay. I’ll text you more about when and where?”
“Sure,” he thinks he can hear an amused smile from her answer.
He hangs up.
He goes back to the waiting room all smiles and sunshine, and it’s like the world is a better place for you and for me and the entire human race (he thinks so anyway).
He whistles a happy tune and nods his head to the rhythm while his hair was done. The hairdressers have to tell him off because he keeps moving (do you want your hair to look like a palm tree?! STOP MOVING, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL).
“Your leader is such a dork,” Mingyu tells Wonwoo, shaking his head.
“He’s your leader too,” Wonwoo returns the comment.
“Unfortunately,” Mingyu says as he sighs heavily.
when we were young
jb/irene | romance, angst, PG, [warning]character death| 1621w
[Jaebum didnt believe in the concept of soulmates]
Jaebum didn’t believe in the concept of soulmate; of the notion that every human is made for another and that the world, somehow, will bring them together in a certain point in their lives.
He still doesn’t.
“Psst, excuse me, can I please see your notes?”
The first words she said to him. College, Korean History, March 2014.
He looked over his shoulder to the girl behind her staring at him with puppy eyes, involuntarily raised his eyebrows, and handed his notes over. He looked at her face and couldn’t help but notice that she was pretty, too pretty.
He hated girls like her. Pretty girls who don’t even listen in class, who get into law school because daddy told them so, just for the prestige. He peeked again to see if she was finished copying and found that she fell asleep on top of her notes. He rolled his eyes, took his notes, and turned his attention back to the lecturer.
She caught up to him when the lecture ended and he was walking out of the room. She insisted to treat him to lunch, and after another round of puppy eyes from her, he finally agreed on meeting at the cafeteria 1 p.m. the next day.
Lunches turned into study sessions, and study sessions turned into get-to-know-each-other sessions. Jaebum wasn’t the type of guy who opened up to people, especially about his thoughts and personal worries. That was why he came off as cold and unfriendly. But something about Joohyun made him comfortable. Maybe it was the fact that she could enjoy solitude as he did, maybe it was because she also came off as cold but was a dork like him, and maybe he just did because she was Joohyun.
Soon enough, he learned that her uncalculated and seemingly rude words were her form of affection; that she wouldn’t be that way to people she didn’t feel comfortable with. She learned that Jaebum was short-tempered, that it had something to do with his pride, but also that he never meant bad when he told someone off. He came to know about her habits when she was thinking hard, tidy eyebrows meeting just above her nose. She learned his favorite food, and the foods he hated, and ate them because “it would be a waste to throw away my delicious cooking”. He, also learned that Joohyun would always miss class on first Mondays of a month, “monthly general check up from dad’s company,” she said, “gotta use all dem freebies, right?” And he would miss her, even when, most of the time, they would meet again at campus the next day (some times she took another 1-2 days off).
One day, they were planning to study together for their finals, so they went to the library. It was 2 a.m., but there was still a fair amount of people studying there. Both of them was tired, drained, so she was reading her book with her head resting on the table, and he was still sitting up, but also snoozing off, head bobbing left and right.
“I can’t go on like this. Let’s go somewhere,” Joohyun slammed her book closed and said, grabbing his head on its sides. Blearily, he stood up when she grabbed his hand and pulled it, let go of her hand, and walked across the long tables to her side.
“Let’s go to the river,” she said. He just answered with a hmm, still sleepy and all. They wait for a bus, and all the while, Joohyun just looked at him, the Jaebum with half-opened eyes.
They silently went on the bus to the stop nearest to the Han River. He almost fell asleep when she did first, head falling on Jaebum’s shoulder. He looked at the top of her head and he could see her long, pretty eyelashes, her tiny pink lips, and wondered-consciously, for the second time since they talked for the first time-how could a person be this gorgeous? But that time, the word applied to so much more than her physique.
They arrived at the bus stop and walked to the bank of the river. They sat on the grass, feet extended straight in front of them, both of them facing the river. They leaned on each other, her head on his shoulder and his head on her head.
“I didn’t come here to sleep,” she said, still in the same position. “But I think that’s my motivation though,” he replied.
She lifted her head, pushing his head up, hurting it a little. “No way. Let’s play a game,” she said, eyes opening wide and staring at him while he was still rubbing the side of his head.
“I ask a ‘what if’ question and you reply with what you would do, say, or feel. Honestly. Okay? After you answer, you ask me a ‘what if’ question,” she proposed.
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” he answered, eyes looking far to the river.
“What if I pinch you right now?” She started.
“I would be less sleepy, but I would want to leave you here alone.”
She pinched him. He frowned at her. But he didn’t leave.
“What if I fail the exam tomorrow?” He asked.
“You lied. You didn’t leave. Answer truthfully, stupid,” she flicked his ear, “You wouldn’t fail. But if you do, we’ll probably fail together.”
“Fair enough,” he said.
“What if I tell you I’ve been paying attention to you before we first spoke?” She asked her second question.
“Then I would call you a creep,” he said, grinning at her, “does it make you my creeper though?”
“Ew, are you trying to be cheesy? Stop it,” she slapped his back.
“What if I tell you that you’re kinda pretty right now?” his eyes are staring at her. She was pretty. The dim lights of the walking road behind them and the lights of the bridge close to where they were were making her look like some kind of a creature of the night in fairytales. Like a night fairy, or something.
She was unfazed, “I’d say you must be blind if you only realized it now,” she said while flipping her hair.
He scrunched his face, displaying mock disgust. She laughed her signature crispy laugh. She stopped for a moment and continued to ask another question.
“What if I say I love you?” Her face was serious, eyes glimmering and looking far in front of her.
He was taken aback, so he turned his face to her, searching for the truth in her face. His words got caught in his throat.
Silence. Her eyes got shinier, it was brimming with tears.
“I’d say I love you too,” his hand moved to touch her chin. She flinched a little, but he started moving his hand to the sides of her face to turn it toward him. He stared at her face and moved closer toward her, then put his lips on hers, softly. He could feel her tears falling, brushing their lips slightly. Their lips separated and he hugged her, holding her while she sobbed. She sobbed, and he didn’t know why.
It was a Wednesday, 6 months after that night. His phone flashed in the middle of the night, caller ID showing that it was her. He picked it up, smiling, “miss me?” he asked through the phone, playfully.
The person on the other side stayed quiet for a few seconds. He thought it was odd, but before he opened his mouth to ask, a voice of a middle-aged woman went through his ears. “Jaebum?” the voice asked.
He was puzzled, he wasn’t expecting to hear the voice of Joohyun’s mom through the phone, especially not at this time of the night.
The news struck him like lightning. No, what struck him the most was that the news wasn’t supposed to be news. What struck him most was that she had been sick for a very long time but he had never known. He hadn’t read the signs. He hadn’t even suspected. He thought he was quick-witted, but how could he be so dense about this matter?
It pained him to hear that she had been calling his name since she was admitted. It pained him, the fact that she had told everyone-everyone-in her life not to tell him. And it pained him that because of the two reasons, she had been fighting pain while longing for him, and she had chosen to go through that.
He visited her every day after class, getting angrier day by day. Angry with her parents and friends for obeying her, and not telling him a single fucking thing. Angry with her for thinking she would’ve spared him the pain if she hadn't told him. Angry at the God-whichever that was-for making her go through all that. Angry at Fate, for bringing them together. Angry at himself for being stupid.
But being angry didn’t make her heal, so he clung his heart on every beat of the green lines on the monitor and stayed with her, hoping to have a little bit more time with her. Just a bit longer.
She left on a spring day, April 2016, just a little above 2 years after they first talked.
Jaebum doesn’t believe in the concept of soulmates. If it was true, then she would be here with him. He wants to believe it; he wants to believe that they would meet again in the next life. But he doesn’t, because what matter is that she’s not with him anymore in this life.
He looks at the name on the tomb in his forties and blinks away the tear threatening to fall from his eyes.
Aaaand, fills for my prompts :')
guardian angel - wheein/jimin - AU ( i, ii) by eternal_hopes
don't blink - jr/suzy - AU by kurdoodle
don't say a word - jonghyun/iu - AU by michaelchang
*whispers* they're great go check them out (I mean the fills to my prompts) (not my fics) (but if you wanna check them out that's ok too)