No I will not call and pretend to be your mom so you can stay at some party!
God I feel so fucking old.

I want to die. I do not want to live at this moment ( Read more... )

I'm sorry that you think I am beautiful.
sorry.
But you see, I do not love you. in my nightmares, if the situation were reversed and you were a charming pretty girl, and I the boy I do love, I fear that we would be tangled in sheets and sweat and lust.
but that matters not. for you are just a boy. that is all.
and no, you may not kiss me.

it is creepy that there is an actual picture of a girl I thougt I was talking to.

.maybe on the second time around ( Read more... )

It felt so good to be in seattle again, seeing a band I love. I felt warm and giddy and so happy.

and Brandon thinks I have perfect cheekbones.

you both are still online. and I know you are talking to her. you said goodnight, but not to her.

I wish I didn't not have a heart so it would not have to break every day.

I had a fasinating discussion with my hair stylist today ( Read more... )

bad taste in my mouth.
you would think I'm a whore.

I have told you before.
you're nothing special to me.
but that's nothing new for you.

I am high now, which makes me think I am feeling better.

But I know that nightmarish images I created are still swirling about in my head.

how much emptier can I get?