I still exist, and available evidence would indicate that you do too.

Two trick-or-treaters just came to my door. The parents were siiting in their car at the curb. Since when do parents chauffeur their children on Halloween. I was inclined to send the children away empty-handed, in response to lazy parenting. Bet they have a DVD player in the car too. Same idea: it would be a tragedy if you had to tire yourself out ( Read more... )

I've heard that if you want to grow a field of poppies, you need to use high quality fertilizer.

I feel like Jim Irsay. More on that later ( Read more... )

These things will happen, I guess.

I meant to call you, tell you how I really feel, then Billie Holiday came on the radio, and I didn't feel qualified.

You disguise your footprints well, but no other footprintp belong on my lawn, so I wonder why you bother to disguise them at all.

If Frenchy Fuqua is the Virgin Mary, and Jack Tatum is the Holy Ghost, does that make Terry Bradshaw God?

Save them for a package of sunshine and flowers...

Everything.