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[kalimyre]

First, a disclaimer to all on my f-list: I am not talking about you. You are all awesome

Comments

[shippygem]

I used to be like that. I want back and looked over some of my entries and OMG I was such a whiney little b**ch.

5 words of advice

Do Not Feed The Animals

[kalimyre]

See, that's my perspective as well, because I remember far too well being a melodramatic whiny teenager, and while it certainly felt real at the time, hindsight makes it look very different. So while the people making these posts may feel very strongly about them at the moment, it probably won't last.

[shippygem]

yeah. exactly...I used to make emo posts just to get attention...and if I didn't then all hell broke loose...

can I just say ICON LOVE!!!!

I am so stealing it!

[kalimyre]

See, I've considered that sort of thing, but I'm a terrible friend hoarder. I'll friend-back nearly anyone who friends me, and I've never defriended. It's like a complex.

[leenys]

Well, I'm not polling, I'd rather comment. :) I've known people like that (teens and adults) and I used to try and placate them, but the problem is you get sucked into their circle of despair. As you said, it depends on how well you know the person, what they are generally like. Lord knows I go through my mood swings so I can't say anything, but usually one can tell if the distress is sincere enough. In those cases, I'm a shoulder to cry on.

[kalimyre]

Yeah, sometimes you get the negative people who don't really want to feel better--they just want you to feel sorry for them. And I'll admit I've gone there before, wallowed in self-pity from time to time, but generally if you want to feel that way, no one is going to stop you. Personally I think anyone has the right to complain and generally be bitter on their personal journal, but that they shouldn't expect others to come rushing immediately to their aid every time.

[ennui_blue_lite]

I never post to personal journals without having friended, so in most cases I'd ignore it. Should I run across one and feel the need to comment, however, I would be vaguely supportive, but I wont gush love and attention on a person who's seeking help on lj. There are *FAR* healthier outlets.

Were any of my lj friends to post such things, I'd likely take it seriously, because none of them have ever made a habit of it.

[kalimyre]

I've left the occasional supportive comment to those on my flist, especially if they were going through something I could personally identify with. Still, for the most part I just scroll on past. I guess that I assume what they're doing is just venting, rather than actually asking for a response.

Then again, as someone who's social network is almost entirely online, I can understand not having other places to turn to.

[elmyraemilie]

I didn't answer the poll because I'm probably not qualified. Very seldom do I read anyone's LJ outside those of my flist; occasionally, I'll run into something like this by following a fan link, and then it depends on what kind of a connection I feel to the person as to what I do.

Regarding my flist, I have gone so far as to "stalk" someone by looking up a phone number for them and calling when a post alarmed me sufficiently. But that's my flist. I guess my assumption is that everyone else has these flist support networks of their own and I don't need to put my two cents' worth in.

[kalimyre]

Then you've certainly been more proactive than I have. Then again, most of the people I know on the internet I don't actually know all that well. I don't know anyone's phone number, for example, nor have I ever met any of my online friends in real life. So maybe that level of concern and closeness isn't there.

I do make supportive comments when someone on my flist has a problem, though. By the same token, I've received a lot of support and reassurance on the occasions when I've posted about a problem of my own. Specifics I can understand and sympathise with. I guess it's just the vague, emo, depressed entries that bother me.

[elmyraemilie]

I've appreciated your comments when I've posted some of my more angsty wails, too. That emo thing? It's hard to judge how potentially volatile a person's real emotional state is when you don't have any experience of them over a long period of time.

[kalimyre]

Good point there--just like it's hard to read inflection in a written post, it's hard to tell just how serious someone is or if they're being dramatic. Plus, there are limits to how well any of us know each other. Maybe the online community creates a feeling of closeness because we share certain deep interests in some fannish things, but that can be an illusion.