The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question of his life. Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite can we avoid fixing our interests upon futilities, and upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance. Thus we demand that the world grant us recognition ( Read more... )

i am a superhero. that is what i have set out to do for the last few years and i continue to do my best to live up to that. i must have social worker written on my forehead. people come to me out of the blue with their problems and i do my best..i do my damnedest to help them. fuck it's difficult.

reading my old peace corps blog is so depressing. i was so optimistic. i worked so hard for that. and i failed. my hope and hard work did nothing for me. what's even more sickening is how supportive all the other applicants were. all their comments about how i'll still do something big with my life. YEAH FUCKING RIGHT.

looking at other people my age, who are off starting careers, who are in grad school, who are out there being financially successful and happy really makes me feel like i'm a screw up. like i'm not living up to my full potential. like i'm less than they are. and i try to pick myself up from it, saying i've experienced a lot more than they have. ( Read more... )

as is life, this past week was an emotional rollercoaster. last week about this time and into tuesday night, everything seemed horrible. no happiness. no optimism. i was incredibly depressed. things just weren't working out. then, on wednesday, things went from black to white. i found out that i now can receive unemployment, which is a HUGE load ( Read more... )

i. am. in. the. worst. mood. ever. no help.

these next few months of struggling to acquire money for the move in august are going to be rough. incredibly rough. i'm going to have to work my ass off. i'm going to be searching for jobs like mad. i'm going to have to fight my way around until august and it's going to be hell, but it'll all be worth it in the end. i know it.

the women i dated in 2011 ( Read more... )

so the past few days have sucked ( Read more... )

There are two things this weekend that completely changed my mood and my outlook on things: coffee Saturday morning with Nan and Jack and Alex's 3 hour layover in Chicago and finally getting two hang out with them. All three of those friends have really just made me feel completely better about things. They have made me happier and hopeful. Words ( Read more... )