Today was a good day. No real crying. Went out with an old buddy of mine. He's hilarious. I needed some fun, so we went go-karting. I did pretty well for the first time in nearly 10 years ( Read more... )

For years I thought I was fat or ugly. I'm going through old photos and I'm just stunned with just how beautiful I was. I cannot believe I trashed myself that way!

Just stunningly gorgeous. I'm really sorry me. I should have never said those things about you. You were and are beautiful. Inside and out.

I cried today. I don't even remember why. I guess it doesn't really matter. I should just let the feelings overwhelm me ( Read more... )

I didn't cry today. I got teary eyed, but I didn't cry ( Read more... )

I cried more today than yesterday. Or the day before. I can't cry around certain friends or my friends who have kids. Talking about what happened is hard. Talking about what needs to happen is hard. Talking about being treated so badly is hard. Talking about how I deserve respect is hard. It all makes me cry ( Read more... )

I told Brian I wanted a divorce. I told him I'm not attracted to him. I told him I wanted to leave. He said he's going to change. Yeah right ( Read more... )

And I act as though I'm surprised. Really? I mean, REALLY!?? Don't know what caused it this time. Brian got sick on Tuesday morning, as did I. I thought it would be over, but, as it turns out, it's not. I was up all night in pretty fantastic pain. It comes in waves. I'd drift off to sleep and about 5 minutes later be jolted awake by stabbing pain ( Read more... )

I'll be back in the states in less than a week! So freaking excited! How I've missed so many things about the US ( Read more... )

I'm incredibly grateful to the folks that donated and, rest assured, that once I'm back and find a place to live, I will be delivering the goodies ( Read more... )

One of these days I just need to stop it. Stop trying to please everyone and do what I want. Clearly I'm doing a shitty job of it anyways. I have a tendency to not tell people stuff that I think will upset them... and it's gotten me in trouble before... so I really need to stop ( Read more... )