i'm sick of fantasizing about a more perfect love. if only i had latched on to her ideals and theories and opinions, if i had for once followed her blindly, i wouldn't have let what we had slip away; but that's just not what she wants in a person ( Read more... )

breath smelling of smoke and blood
i come home
nose dripping
no one to put up with
no one
i smile
as i attempt to remember
days gone by
and i try so hard
to believe
that if i can last this long
i could last
a lifetime
or two
more than i should

i sniffle
and i trudge through my room
my buzz killed
by the ringing of the
telephone

it's her

no, i am no longer fucked up. for 41 hours, however, i was. and i didn't sleep at all in that time period. that's nearly two fuckin' days. well, not that i had sex those days, but...

ugh.

so, i finally fell asleep at 3:30 this morning and i crashed - with no dreams - for a great 7 1/2 hours.

oh.

god, i'm fuckin' ecstatic. i bet you couldn't tell by me lack of exclamation points at the end of that sentence, but believe you me, i am ( Read more... )

as i sit here, eating my simulated chocolate cereal created because the government is actually trying to hide the fact that atlantis ever existed, i lose my train of thought completely ( Read more... )

i woke up this morning with a debilitating back pain. oh, it hurt to breathe. i keep telling her that i'm dying, and she says, 'no, you just need to stop smoking, start having more sex, and eat right.' okay, so i'm attempting to accomplish the first one, i'm starting to become a master and the second, and the third one doesn't really fit ( Read more... )

my day was spent looking through a victoria's secret catalog while listening to metallica's rendition of 'tuesday's gone', trying not to laugh when joe's phone beeped incessantly, and smiling at mice who ran out from underneath of subway while i smoked my cigarettes way too fast ( Read more... )

event?? how about string of events?? god, the past couple of weeks have been so unbelievably hectic. my string of events ranged from seeing a small town cop pull his gun on someone to telling my best friend that her asshole boyfriend cheated on her to having to decide to give up my life or my future (it's confusing, but if you knew the dilemma, ( Read more... )

i'm completely and udderly (god, i'm leaving it like that because my pinky is too tired to delete it) confused on the subject of dating. for some reason, i just don't get it. am i supposed to?? is there a manual ( Read more... )

my morning was trying to get back to sleep after people kept calling, arguing about some goddamned black hooded sweater (not a cardigan, mind you), and trying to get this stoned look out of my eyes.

isn't there a ozark mountain cure for that?? baking soda and lime-away or something?? anyone??