so i'm doing it again. i'm pushing away. i need to pretend that this is right. at least for now. too afraid of letting go and being alone. i need but can't want. what the fuck is wrong with me?

i will just say this, i am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry i waited so long to get into baseball. i know right? baseball? yes. baseball. the white sox fucking kicked ass tonight. 13 innings. 6 hits and 6 runs. and detroit was fun too. how sad is it to start to like it this late in the season. and comerica is a better stadium than cominsky. ( Read more... )

ok, i know no one reads this and i might have been drinking since 9 tonight, but i haven't been on livejournal in a month or so. but i don't like that people express themselves with fucking u-tubes of music videos. and who lie to girls to get in their pants and who can't own up to shit. i know, i know, i'm destined to be alone with my cats. ( Read more... )

so far this month, detroit fun. not the typical detroit fun, which is probly in my best interest. but not-boyfriend fun.

up and coming: 2 weeks off. one to be spent in chicago. touristy, windy city fun. as good as it gets.

my back hurts and i miss my not-boyfriend.
and i would like my money, dude.

and too bad about my brain cuz i'd really like to make friends or something to that effect.

so last night was a little crazy for me. i am sorry to those i may have offended. i really need to learn my limits and get some self control. yeah, that would be great. i might be missing out on a great time tonight by staying locked in my room. but chances are much higher i would just make an ass out of myself.

remind me to never go shopping again. thank you.

update: despite being so completely fucked over regarding my car situation and other stresses, i still feel stupid happy most of the time. how freaking great is that ( Read more... )

so i have been happy from friday to monday. until i was in the airport that is. knowing i had to leave jason. knowing it could be months until i see him again. knowing that we can never really be together the way we want. the way we should be. life is so unfair. i finally meet someone that makes me happy. actually happy. like stupid happy ( Read more... )

ok. i get it. you're in control. i made you mad now i can't be your friend. why do you always do this, boreal. i should not even be bothered by this. hopefully soon i won't be. i will not let this ruin my day. my life. thanks for trying though.