About 11 years ago, I experienced the most terrifying day of my life. I had to call 911 because I thought someone I loved was at risk of committing suicide. The fear, and anger, and horror of that day are still fresh in my mind whenever I think of them ( Read more... )

So.... Where am I ( Read more... )

There are times when your senses try to pull you out of a depression. When they try to wrest your mind free of the negative thoughts and let it see beauty for a moment ( Read more... )

I'm pretty sure no one reads what I write on here anymore. Probably because I post so infrequently. Damn, I was hoping that would make my posts rare, exotic, and anticipated! Ok, well, not really. Though, that would have been cool. I just need to realize this is no longer a mode of communication for me, just a place where I can write shit down ( Read more... )

Pretty sure no one reads my poems on here. Or cares. But, it's good to have them here, for looking back on. Here's a poem, about Ben of course, that I started composing at the concert tonight ( Read more... )

Went to go see Ani Defranco tonight. Wow! Only really had ever hear two songs by her, which I really loved. I wasn't disappointed by what I heard tonight. It was amazing. Ben... If you ever still read posts on here... I wish you could have been there tonight. I think you would have loved it. Thought about you tons. Missed you ( Read more... )

Tasty salads help with a low cal eating plan. :-)

So, I've been feeling worse and worse about myself as I slowly gain weight back, which makes me feel defeatist, which makes me more prone to eat in a "what the hell, I'm gaining anyway" kind of attitude. So, I weighed myself this morning, and I'm going to get body fat % checked this week then.... I'm not looking again for the whole month. Instead ( Read more... )

164lbs this morning. that's a 10+ pound gain since March.

Time to buckle back down on calories, since my working out has remained pretty consistent.

Otherwise known as "why wait until November?"

I am profoundly grateful for:
-The love of three amazing men
-The open mindedness and acceptance of my sister and mother
-Being in obviously better shape than I was in this time last year
-The means to take and enjoy a trip to Vegas
-Daydreams