kelliee

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kelliee Jan 15, 2009 17:45

life in my house ( Read more... )

I had the weirdest thing happen to me the other day. I went pee, wiped, and when I got up I saw that there was a dime perched on top of the tissue I had just wiped with. I know what you're thinking... The dime just fell out of my pocket or something... but no. My pants had no pockets! I don't know where that dime came from, but I reached into the ( Read more... )

via ljapp

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kelliee Dec 28, 2008 11:00

Why did god give me such a great ass? The phone numbers keep pouring in.

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kelliee Dec 24, 2008 07:55

Holy shit, i've gained 20lbs since august! Time to invest in a scale, I guess.

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kelliee Nov 28, 2008 17:42

good reason not to wear pants that are way too big for you: you slowly start to grow into them.

oh well, i guess it's time to start using that gym membership!

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kelliee Nov 03, 2008 13:02

seriously, no one wants a weekly dose of random doggy goodness?

http://twitpic.com/photos/dachshundparty

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kelliee Sep 29, 2008 17:48

I haven't been around a computer in a while, so i have a lovely little update for y'all. On Tuesday, I got bit by a dog at work again. This time on my FACE. I have a lovely flap of skin that is hanging off of my nose (it's trying to heal, but not doing a superb job... it was bleeding again today) and two little scratches on my forehead that are ( Read more... )

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kelliee Aug 27, 2008 16:56

i bought a 32 inch plasma tv on tuesday, and a 16 gig iphone on wednesday. what should i buy today?

fuck you snoop dog

kelliee Jul 23, 2008 16:45

i got bit by a dog at work today. a beagle (named snoop dog) was trying to get at this dog bone that i had in my hand (which belonged to another dog) and he missed and grabbed my middle finger instead... asshole. i had two chunks of skin flapping around and blood started gushing out, so i went to clean it out with hydrogen peroxide. as i ( Read more... )

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kelliee Jul 06, 2008 15:30

i had a customer today named harry johnson. no joke. it took everything in me not to laugh my ass off when he announced rather loudly that that was his name. added bonus: he was telling another customer that he should get his dog neutered, and then he was like "all of my animals are fixed. hell, even my wife and i are fixed!"

i thought it was