dove "natural glow" subtle self-tanning moisturizer is NOT subtle at ALL. I used a rather conservative amount of it last night. This morning I was in a rush so I didn't have a chance to look in the mirror all day ( Read more... )

I just ate a motherload of tums because I was craving sweettarts but didn't have any. I thought tums would be an okay substitute. now my stomach hurts FROM the tums AND I still want sweettarts. I feel like I just devoured a pack of chalk. grossssss ( Read more... )

gosh darn god damn I HATE the fucking bank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i'm glad i got a new job. my new job is a lot of responsibility and pressure and it takes place in an office with no windows, but it pays $14/hour. SWEET DEAL ( Read more... )

Chuck Norris went on a date with Terri Schiavo. She stated that Chuck was a "terrible actor," and refused to sleep with him. The term "persistent vegetative state" was invented the next day.

never mind, i just got a full-time job being an office bitch. gross.

I look up the weather on weather.com all the time when I'm bored and for days upon days the forecast kept telling me it was going to be coldish/rainy/dismal but then it was beautiful and sunny and warm outside EVERY day and I was like MAN weather.com SUCKS at this shit ( Read more... )

best soliciting comment i've gotten so far ( Read more... )

I blowdried my cell phone for two hours and now it WORKS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

take THAAAAT, cingular salesman who said that "hairdryers never EVER work, TRUST me." BITCH. i am awesome.

last night my phone was sticky and i decided it would be a FANTASTIC idea to wash it with soap and water ( Read more... )