yeah i have court tomorrow. and i like a boy that i will probably never end up dating just seeing but not having a title suck as "girlfriend". kind of depressing but kind of not. well i'm trying to quit smoking. we'll see how that works out. well yeah saw chronical of narnia which was exciting and great. yeah but i did stupid quizes so forgive me ( Read more... )

how does life always kick you when your down. jon has a new girlfriend and i dont know why i feel so bad. God everything sucks. brad and chris both like me and i like someone else a lot. and i need a smoke

love at first sight? i wish i had just a hintling of a clue

ashli is back. but i dont know if it's a good thing. and i have a crush on a guy that works in the mall. i think i will ask him out to coffee today and if i chicken out again i will cry.

i've realized a big difference when i'm on my meds and not. i woke up this morning and nothing but loneliness and sadness was in my head nothing i could do would get me out of bed. stupid pills.

Christmas is pointless i was it didnt exist.

i dont want to exist but i dont want to die i just want to never be born.

i have pneumonia

This Is My Life, RatedLife:

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so i saw HIM last night at the state theatre too bad my camera fucking died on me. but it was much fun! and finch opened for them...i had a blast with colleen that night. then i saw hayley last tonight. that was fun. plus i got to talk to trent which i havent in some time that was fun plus i played hacky sack with chris, brandy, and hayley...corey ( Read more... )

im going to the HIm concert tomorrow and i will be sure to try and have fun. even though i havent done that in a while. for instance today my aunt made me cry by saying "i'm not going to take anymore of your sass" and i just started to cry i couldnt even stop i dont know whats wrong with me. plus yesterday i had the worst panic attack ive ever had ( Read more... )

rough day. no one talked to me....wonderful really...my therapist is thinking about putting me into a hospital and group therapy. i dont know how i feel about this really but all i know is i'm way to sad. i dont even care about myself anymore at all. i wish they would just put me in jail that way i can be gone and not have to deal with my reality ( Read more... )

so i'm not moving out. ashli's moving back to florida by the end of the week. i'm not allowed to see trent anymore and if i screw up again i'm going to be living at my aunts. i have the worst karma in the world. also i have court today so i wont be at otech so peace