It's possible you found my journal. It's possible you've read everything I've written. It's also possible that what I've written was while I was in a different state of mind. I write in here to understand what I am feeling. Once I understand that, I won't go back to it. I can turn it into just an entry, a tangible object, and let it go. Once I let ( Read more... )

Guilt, remorse, disappointment, anger, fear, sadness, disgust, hopelessness, hopeful. A veritable bevy of emotions taking me on the ride of my life.

10:42AM - I am hated ( Read more... )

11:00PM - A part of me died ( Read more... )

It'll be better tomorrow..

I did this to myself again. I hate when I do that. As if I lose myself when emotions come into play. I should not have participated. I completely lost myself. It was amazing. I love the human mind. It's so complex. I just WISH I had a map of my own head so that I knew where to go when I follow the wrong direction. Following my heart seems to be the ( Read more... )

I keep finding things that I don't want to know but I keep looking. There's something not right with what's going on and I want a truthful explanation but I know I'm not going to get it. No respect exists between people and no trust exists within me. I'm so tired of feeling this way, and I'm doing this to myself. No more. Never again. I'm so tired ( Read more... )

So, I learned alot today. Too much to list. Too hard to list actually. I'm waiting for this movie to start so I can watch it. Looks pretty cool. I probably should not have done what I did. It was an impulse that for some reason I had no control of. I didn't control myself. Pretty obvious.

I know this is probably the worst thing I can do to myself but I actually feel better leaving these messages. I feel happier knowing that I have almost everything memorized. I'm not confused anymore. I've made a choice. I'm letting go of what we used to have and hanging on to something new. I will not be strung along while being used for what I ( Read more... )

I gave it a chance to be renewed, not to the way things would be, but better. My proposal was not accepted. I've learned to take rejection. I've been hurt enough to know how this goes. Experience and understanding is what I have to take from this whole thing. I don't see it as a complete loss. It's time. Regen in effect. Usually lasts for a few ( Read more... )