" are you really gonna make a cripple sleep on the couch....with logan" hehe..matt!

is it over yet??? i'm ready

i guess this is love

i don't think that i even have a picture of me and him together..how horrible.

as awful as i feel now..i know i'm only going to feel once..when it fully hits me

why is so fucking stupid

why does it hurt so bad

why now

why ever

why can't i wake up...why isn't it just a dream.

dec.17...it started..like any other day..everyday after it is different..the sun will never shine.

everything's just so ugly

i feel so empty...he makes me feel so empty...he knew he was going to do it..he could've said good-bye

i can't sleep becuz i feel like it's wrong..or..not appropriate. then again maybe i'm just afraid to close my eyes..i see him..and not the matt that i want to see..the bright face that made my day...friday greys my glorious memories of him..and i hate him for that.

i keep waiting for the punchline

i've never felt pain like this before

sometimes i forget to breathe