https://youtu.be/Tk8JxNrXDfw my brain

So kiddies I've been thinking about this for over a week now and I have to get something off my chest. When you send a music video to someone you care for and have had a rough time with and it's something that means something to you and all you get back is I like that version but they obviously didn't get the meaning behind the sending of that ( Read more... )

Well it's been a couple months now and well as I say life goes on. Nothing has really changed all that much I'm still married to the German girl the blonde and I talk every now and then but we're still over,  no matter what I want, and I still dream of the horse girl almost every night and and I would have been together for over a year now and ( Read more... )

So I got confirmation tonight that I have lost the blonde completely. And a mere two weeks now before I go back to work in the soul sucking hell hole I hate and until this moment the only fucking shiny point was seeing her again and now well even that has been tainted. So I guess I'm just screwed to be lost forever lost and alone. Married to the ( Read more... )

So I sit here watching STVOY and I love the show and one of my favorite characters is Tom Paris but there are times when I hate him because he gives advice that has a tinge of heartbreak and it reminds me of what I lost and am still losing and there she is right to the forefront of my mind again. Oh well I'm alone tonight so I'll just relax have a ( Read more... )

Well kiddies I know its been a troubled couple months for me and well guess what its not over. I'm unemployed, yet again, and in need of work. Hopefully something that employs my skill set but if not oh well so here's hoping and such.

D

I guess I should say that ugh well I guess its over with the blonde and I. Much to my disappointment its not what I wanted ever but its what happened. I fucked it up as always. Alone and depressed again. Well fuck it ill live I hope. I always come out on the other side. More bruised and scarred but its all I can do...

I love how no one even tried to find me

No not in the single way but in the I'm home alone again and my blonde is on a date. A fucking date. Ugh oh well as I said in my last post its my fault. And the German well she's with friends. And where am I? Home and in bed alone. Ugh oh well that is all.

Well kiddies as you can guess by the title I fucked up again. I lost me blonde. I realize I sound like a fucking pirate but I don't care. I fucked it up again and lost my anchor, my rock, the one that I could count on no matter what. And how you might ask. By being me ugh I hate it. That is all.