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[king_of_mods]

hey! exercising me old thumbs on the feedleash. been a while, ain't it? anyway i got some letters in the post today. the first was from bryan and it has news of a distressing kind in it. basically he says i've got a... well, look, i'll just scan it in:

Dear Vince my child

Comments

[naboo_thats_who]

I didn't try to have sex with Claire, thanks. That's not something I've wanted to wish for.

I reckon your wish must have had something to do with your hair or your clothes. Less frizz, maybe. Detangling. The loss of that spot on your arse.

Saphardians I don't know about, but I can do some reading. And if Howard's coming back to London, I'd make up the bed in your room, probably.

[king_of_mods]

what's a spot on me arse have to do with my hair or my clothes? i'm pretty sure spots don't run in my family, ive never had one.

as for claire, i don't know what you tried while you were channeling the time lord, but i do know she ain't told you where she buggered off to and i thought she told you everything.

aw, naboo, don't you remember how it went last time howard and i shared a room?

[naboo_thats_who]

I dunno, it was the only other thing I could think of that would be your dream come true. Maybe you've already got everything you wanted.

Yeah, well, maybe I don't remember when she told me. Howard didn't tell you where he was going either, and you two practically wore the same pair of trousers.

I guess Ultra's moved out, he can probably stay there. Not sure what state the room's in. Or the mattress.

Or there's always the sofa.

[king_of_mods]

i could imagine lots of things i wanted if i had time to think on it. like teleportation pods, i'd like one of them. carpets are good but they still give me a kick in the belly. i'd like to be able to change my hair colour with the power of my mind, see how i'd look as a blond without the hassle of chemicals, that sort of thing.

howard didn't tell me cos he fancied he'd developed some allergy to me from sharing the same room. which is why he gets the sofa or ultra's stabbed up mattress.

[hangmanhelper]

Vince!! Where the flying fuck have you been, man? You missed all the parties and all kinds of crazy bullshit!

Shitkicker came after me with the vengeance of his doggy buttcheeks, tried to smother me to death with his ass. Reckon if you'd been around you coulda talked some sense into him. Don't feel bad though cause I reckon I'm off dogs for the moment, at least til the stitches come out.

Be careful with that diabeetes. One of my sisters has that and she has to take a shit about three times an hour. That'd totally screw with your rep.

Come by the club, we'll get shitfaced and throw peanuts at the pegleg girl.

[king_of_mods]

hey rich! where have i been, where have you been? i had to mind the shop while naboo was doing some time lord gig in cardiff, and i sold about a hundred feathered dream catchers by jazzing them up with some sequins. and course he had his strung out regulars coming in, asking for the purple pills, and i had to tell them the doctor weren't in. i nearly got knocked off my platforms a few times.

i don't have diabetes, but seems it might be living inside me, dormant, and its best to not feed it sugar. now i don't know what i'll eat.

i do like peanuts, though. can i eat some while you throw them?

[hangmanhelper]

That sucks a big rubbery one. You need to get yourself a piece, man. Matt's got one and he never fucking has any trouble. (cept when he goes in that clothes store, I don't even know what the fuck.) You hooked me up with the dog, yeah, maybe I can pull a few strings and get you something long and black and loud. You know what I mean.

i have a tapeworm like that.

Sure, knock yourself out! oh do you mean like catching them as I throw them or do you mean like from the bowl, cause if you're gonna sit up on your hind legs and snap em out of the air, that'd be cool.

[king_of_mods]

do they come in any colours besides black. oh and shoot something other than bullets? like wet tea bags? naboo threw one at me last night and it really hurt, i might have a bruise shaped like austrailia somewhere.

i can catch them as you throw them, sure! it'll be genius. think i'll get some tips tucked into my belt?