[NVC Day 20] -- [Questions and Answers] -- [Jim, Bones, Healer]

[kirktastic]

Jim was both looking forward to it and nervous about it. They had agreed to meet the healer at a smaller hotel somewhere away from both the medical centers as well as the Federation guest quarters. It felt almost like trying to buy some back alley off-world drugs or deliver information of a disclosed nature, to the point Jim almost wanted to call

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[dctr_mccoy]

The walk back to their room had been quiet. They both had thoughts running through their heads regarding all they'd discussed that afternoon, and Bones didn't know how it was all going to end up. Would they agree? Would they argue?

He let Jim walk first into the room and headed straight for the kitchen area. "I'm getting a beer," he called out, pulling out a bottle from the refrigeration unit - the perks of being planetside. "You want one?" he asked in a tired voice.

[kirktastic]

"Yes." Jim's voice showed just how tired he felt, and after he kicked off his boots, he flopped into a chair with gusto. He closed his eyes, feeling a faint headache behind his eyes.

He only opened his eyes again when he felt the cool glass touch his fingers. With a grateful smile, even more grateful when he saw it was already opened (his smile turned down right thankful), he took a slow gulp of the cold beer.

[dctr_mccoy]

Bones took the chair across from Jim, settling in with his own drink. He slid his boots off and leaned back. For a while, neither man said anything, still lost in their own thoughts.

Or maybe neither wanted to bring up the subject.

[kirktastic]

Jim had absolutely no desire to do it. He let his thoughts drift, some condensation slowly gathering enough to roll down his fingers. He kept his eyes closed to avoid the headache from getting worse. "Maybe we could go to that southern place tonight that you were talking about," was the line that finally broke the silence.

[dctr_mccoy]

"...could do that," Bones nodded, answering quietly. "Cobbler sounds good."

He didn't want to talk about it. But it was going to fester, like a wound, and they weren't going to stop thinking about it until they got it out.

Jim was gonna hate this, he thought sadly, but mind made up, he pushed on. "You felt him, since the thing with your hand?" he asked, a little pissed that he didn't have to identify 'him' - was it gonna be like that from now on?

[kirktastic]

Yea, Jim immediately didn't like that despite the fact he had been thinking about the exact topic. "...no." Tense, tight word. Spock had made himself scarce, it seemed.

[dctr_mccoy]

Maybe it was the shielding that Jim had gone through, but Bones thought he could still feel the occasional rumble from Spock. Thoughts, emotions bleeding through. Felt like an image of someone who was happy, or sleepy, or worried.

He wished he didn't have this. Wanted this all to go away, and it seemed like Jim did too. "What do you think 'bout what the Healer had to say?"

[kirktastic]

"...we could break the bond now and risk him going mad, and fuck knows what it'll do to everything else that happens between us... or leave it, get used to it, and have him go completely insane without much chance he won't when he's only done half his life or less." Jim said the words almost emotionless.

[dctr_mccoy]

"Sounds 'bout what I got out of it." He sighed, finishing his beer in one long gulp. "I suppose the four of us oughta sit down and discuss this matter, like adults."

He caught the look in Jim's eyes, but kept talking. "I'm just saying, that's the mature thing to do. Personally, I'd like to beat him senseless, but that isn't gonna get us anywhere."

[kirktastic]

"...I wanna hate him, what he did." Jim opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. "But... I can't. Do... do you know what happened with both of the older Spocks? What happened when they went into their first pon farr?"

[dctr_mccoy]

Bones shook his head. "No, I don't."

Then, his brow furrowed. "They're the same person, right? I understood their histories were identical, until this anomaly brought Jim and Spock into our world."

[kirktastic]

"I think they are. I think. I... they both killed their respective Jims. On Vulcan, in front of a crowd, with their Bones right there,... they killed Jim." His fingers tightened, the words bringing up memories that weren't his.

[dctr_mccoy]

"What do you mean, killed-" then stopped as he remembered. A conversation, felt like a lifetime ago when the other men first arrived.

I murdered Jim Kirk.

"When Spock went into Pon Farr," Bones mumbled to himself. "Yeah, we talked about it. He said something about McCoy making it look like Jim was dead." Bones looked over at Jim. "Can you see that, what happened to them, in your head?" Crap, what sort of memories did Jim have in there?

[kirktastic]

A little nod, brows knitting together. "Yea. I can see it. Spock left those memories in my head. They got over it, they forgave him... they kept being who they were. Can we do that?" He finally looked over at Bones, seeing that look in his eyes and nearly wincing. That almost-pity look.

[dctr_mccoy]

Bones shrugged. "They were different people, Jim. That Spock and Jim, they were best friends by that time that happened. With McCoy, the three of them..." Hesitating, Bones scratched at the back of his neck. "I get the feeling they were more of a unit than we are, at least, than we are right now."

He sighed. "I dunno, if all this shit happened in a few years from now, maybe we'd be more likely to do what they did, go enter into this willingly. But right now?" His hands waved in front of him. "It was all just too soon, Jim. And-" he chuckled sadly, looking down at the floor before looking back up at Jim, "I'm not all that crazy 'bout the idea of you being bonded with him. You're mine."

[kirktastic]

The last part made Jim sit up, looking over at Bones. His tone was quiet but simple, "it doesn't matter if him or anyone else has a mark or a bond or a god damn collar around my neck. The only person that I'll ever be is yours."