weathervane (5/5) [arashi rps]
Weathervane [5/5]
Aiba/Jun | 嵐 RPS | PG-13 | ~12,500 words
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
One month later…
While the wedding ceremony itself was small and quiet, just family and close friends at a picturesque Shinto shrine, the reception party is a raucous and grand affair, full of Sho's wide network of friends, a ridiculous number of Olympic athletes, a crowd of senpai and kouhai, a few familiar staff from the company and large number of completely unfamiliar people that Aiba supposes are Kyoko's friends and family.
The large glass windows of the reception room face west, and the blood-orange glow of the sunset illuminates Nino's face as he sings a song that he had written specifically for this, had planned as a surprise with Kyoko behind Sho's back, and didn't even let Ohno hear it before the actual event.
"It was a Nino-thing," Ohno had whispered to Aiba, as the crowd had applauded in surprise when Nino appeared on stage, guitar in hand. "He really loves Sho, even if he shows it in stupid ways."
Nino's song is poignantly sweet and honest, and even Sho's best efforts at emotional stoicism crumble within minutes. Of course, they're all a mess after that. Jun is beside him, and Aiba finds himself gripping Jun's hand almost painfully, trying to control the flow of tears and snot without messing up his suit.
Nino is wearing his most adorable, smug grin as he walks back towards the table afterwards, "You liked it?" he asks Sho, who is being handed extra napkins by a fondly exasperated Kyoko.
"You're the absolute worst," Sho says thickly, his nose resembling a tomato. Nino understands him perfectly, getting close enough for Sho to grab him in a crushing hug.
It's a happy day.
Despite all of this, Aiba keeps watching Jun. It's - well, weddings, and all. Jun's hardly delicate, and he's clearly happy for Sho, just as all of them are. Aiba can't help but worry.
Jun catches him glancing over when Kyoko throws her bouquet. "What?" he asks.
Aiba smiles, but he can feel it fluttering at the edges, uncertain. "This is nice," he says, quiet enough that only Jun can hear. "You're happy, aren't you?"
The look that Jun gives him is exasperated, but strangely tender. "It sounds like you aren't sure if you are."
Aiba watches Sho dancing with his wife. Nino is sitting next to Ohno again at their table. They aren’t even touching, but there is a warm glow around them, although maybe only evident because Aiba knows what he's looking at.
"I wanted you to say yes," Aiba admits. He can't look at Jun now. He picks up a paper napkin, delicately shredding it and rolling the paper twists between his fingers. "Even it would have been a total mess. I know it's selfish, but…"
He can hear Jun exhale an unsteady breath. "You agreed, though - that it was a bad idea."
Aiba smiles weakly and steals a glance at Jun's face; the pity and warmth in Jun's eyes is almost too much to take. "I know. I really, really do, but -I just feel like - if we don't, if we don't know what might have happened."
Jun frowns. "This isn't some experiment." He puts down his glass of wine. "We talked already," he says, his voice quiet but firm. "It's done, and it's for the best."
He walks away, leaving Aiba alone at their table, surrounded by an army of half-deflated balloons and empty wineglasses.
Metaphors, Aiba thinks, really like to bite you in the butt.
He's trying to pop his fourth balloon when Nino sits down next to him, swatting away the balloon and handing him a beer.
"Fucking weddings," Nino says, commiserating. "Sometimes I think the married couple is the only happy people in the room. If even that."
"Love is stupid," Aiba grouches, licking some beer foam off his hand.
Nino pats him on the arm. "Really stupid. But you know what - " He leans in, as if about to impart an important secret. "So are you."
Nino ducks out of range, so Aiba's swipe barely misses his head. They're both laughing, though, and somehow, Aiba's tears start to leak out, too.
"You suck," Aiba says, and he knows he doesn't mean, but on some level, he does. Nino has Ohno, and it was easy for them. Well, not easy -, but - well…
"You're giving up too easily," Nino says, voice light, but suddenly serious. "J. - he's not the type to take risks, you know. He gets hurt."
"Everyone gets hurt." Aiba feels a warm weight against his back, and looks over his shoulder to find Ohno draped on him.
Nino rubs at his face. "I'm crap at these things," he says, seemingly talking more to himself than Aiba or Ohno.
"It takes time, Aiba-chan," Ohno says. "You need to show him that you're not going anywhere. That you want him to be there."
"It might take years," Nino says, his voice cracking slightly, and a look passes between him and Ohno that makes Aiba shiver.
"It might," Ohno says softly. "But if you want it -if you want him - you won't give up."
Aiba stares glumly into his beer. They're right - they're completely right, but he's never said those words to Nino before, and he knows better than to start now.
"And until then," Nino says, with the relief of someone who has successfully navigated a conversation about Our Awkward Male Emotions, "We get drunk as hell and hope for the best."
Now that was a plan Aiba could get into.
+
By the time the sky is completely black, and the candles gleaming gently around the dance floor are the only light in the room, Aiba is feeling reasonably more cheerful. Ohno and Nino had stuck by him for a few hours, and had significantly contributed to a growing collection of glasses, but they had wandered off to bother Sho. Aiba can't quite bring himself to leave the table; he's comfortable here, with his head pillowed on one arm, watching people sway slowly in the flickering lights.
It isn't just the alcohol; somewhere in his center, he's come to a decision, and the knowledge makes him feel more settled, somehow.
Jun appears suddenly in front of him, managing, through a feat of extreme eyebrow aerobics, to look concerned and irritated all at once. "Are you okay?" he asks, sitting down next to Aiba.
"Yup," Aiba makes a Herculean effort to pull himself upright in his chair. The room seems to move along with him, and he puts his hand on the table to steady himself. "Woah."
Jun sighs. "I'll give you a ride home. We should talk, but -"
"What?" Aiba is suddenly bolt upright, the room moving in interesting circles. "Let's talk. We can talk now."
The look he gets in response is withering. "We are not talking when you're sloshing with enough alcohol to fill three swimming pools."
"I'm not -" Aiba protests, but then realizes that it's probably futile. He couldn't walk a straight line now. Hell, he's not sure that standing up unattended in a good option, either. Still, he feels like he's missing a big chance here. "Will - will you still want to talk later? I mean, I can wait," he adds obediently.
Jun seems to soften. "Tell you what," he says, in the tone of a man resigned, "Come home with me. I don't think you're going to be any good left on your own in the morning."
"I promise not to puke on anything," Aiba promises fervently. He totters to his feet as Jun helps lift him by the elbow.
"I've heard that one before," Jun says wryly. "Let's go say good night to Sho before we go."
As they make their way across the room, Aiba is intensely grateful for Jun's solid grip on him. He feels like his insides have turned to soap, bubbly and slippery, and it feels like his feet will slide right off the floor if he stands on his own. The candles scattered all around are beautiful, but, Aiba thinks, possibly not the best party-planning idea. He isn't the only unsteady-looking person floundering around the room, narrowly avoiding self-immolation by tea lights. With the amount of alcohol in his system, Aiba wonders, would he explode like a giant firework? The idea makes him giggle uncontrollably.
"Here's Sho-kun," Jun says when they reach a huddle of chairs in a corner of the room. Ohno looks even drunker than Aiba, and is crooning something softly under his breath. Nino has forsaken all chairs for the comfort of Sho's lap, who is beaming and stroking Nino's hair. There couldn't be a happier man on Earth.
"Sho-chan!" Aiba says, pitching forward, and nearly squashing Nino, if not for Jun catching him at the last minute. "Sho-chan, congratulations! Matsujun is taking me home."
"Are you congratulating me for that?" Sho asks, looking bemused.
Nino smirks up from his perch around Sho's knees. "Taking advantage of our Aiba-chan in this state?" he sing-songs. "What a bad man, J."
"Shut up, Kazunari," Jun says amiably, patting Nino on the head.
Sho hugs Aiba tightly around the neck. "I love you guys so much," he says cheerfully.
Aiba happily tangles himself in Sho's solid, slightly sweaty warmth. "Me too! Have a great honeymoon."
"Which you are not starting for another three hours," Nino informs them, shifting possessively in Sho's lap, uncomfortably squished in the midst of all the hugging.
"Nino is having separation issues," Ohno hiccups.
Sho lets go of Aiba. "I'll be back in five days," he promises, speaking to Nino, but with a clear undercurrent of reassurance aimed at all of them.
"Anyways," Jun says, "We'll see you then." He resumes his firm grip on Aiba's arm, and starts dragging him in the direction of the parking lot.
It's pitch-black outside, and pretty chilly for September. Aiba shivers a little, the night air clearing his head a little. It's only now, walking away, that his emotions catch up to him, and by the time they slide into Jun's car, there are tears streaming out of his eyes.
Jun looks alarmed for an instant, but digs up a box of tissues and tosses it at Aiba.
"You're such a mess," he says gruffly, though his own voice sounds a bit thick.
"I can't help it," Aiba hiccoughs, the tears streaming faster now. "It's - Sho-chan is so happy, and I'm so happy..."
"That would explain the sobbing," Jun's voice is dryly amused, but he's starting to look a little wet-eyed himself. He gives Aiba a comforting pat on the leg as he eases his car out of the parking spot and towards the exit. "Let's get you to bed."
The roads are quiet this late at night, and Aiba's tears slow and fade, the heave of his heart settling. He feels better, somehow. Everything feels good. Even with nothing decided, just having Jun here by him - no one else could understand this. No one else would know what he needs.
He's not willing to settle for less anymore.
+
Jun's apartment is cold, but cleaner than Aiba remembers. He sits meekly on a kitchen stool while Jun pours him a glass of water. He hadn't realize how thirsty he was until he started drinking, but it's gone in less than a minute, and he hands the glass back, licking his moistened lips.
"More?" Jun says, and then, "Good." He fills the glass again, and sits at the stool opposite Aiba. He looks old, Aiba thinks, or maybe just tired. The lines on his face are more visible in the stark kitchen light, furrowed between his eyes, stretched tight around his mouth.
"Thank you," Aiba says. He fidgets with the empty glass. "Jun - I'm sorry. I've been a total ass. Even so, you -"
Jun raps him on the knuckles, then covers his hand with his own. "I'm not interested in your speeches," he says. He pauses, seeming to struggle with something in himself.
"Come to bed," he says finally. "Let's go to bed," he adds, as if he's worried he's not making himself clear enough.
Aiba feels his mouth drop open in shock, and quickly closes it.
"I thought you wanted to wait and talk…" he begins cautiously. Aiba wants to make sure - he wants to do this right - but he doesn't really want Jun to think twice about what he just said.
"We will," Jun says. "But I -" He looks down at the counter. "You said you've been an ass, and maybe - maybe, but at least you've been honest. I was too scared to even think - all I wanted to do was push you away." He looks squarely at Aiba. "I thought it would be better that way."
Aiba can feel Jun's hand shaking, and he curls their fingers together. "It wouldn't be," he whispers.
"No," Jun agrees. He strokes his thumb gently over Aiba's knuckles. "You're right. There's no point in turning back now."
Aiba's heart swells with happiness. "So, we…?"
Jun smiles, extracting his hand from Aiba and standing up from his stool. "Later. I'm tired, and you're barely making sense."
"Bed," Aiba breathes, scooting off his own stool. The world is still giddy and tilting under him.
"Shower," Jun corrects him, steering him forward. "You stink."
Aiba is impatient with delight, eager to be tucked into Jun's warm, soft sheets, to snuggle unabashedly into Jun's solid heat and just sleep. He's a patient man, though, and he submissively watches Jun putter around gather towels, an extra toothbrush, some pyjama pants - and tries to control the rising urgency he can feel bubble up inside him.
"Jun?" he says, while Jun is trying to give Aiba what a tour of his shampoo collection that He Must Not Touch. "I love you."
They hadn't said it yet, and maybe it isn't the best timing - Jun half-bent over the tub, Aiba clutching an armful of fluffy towels. Still, it's worth it for the sharp, wanting look Jun's eyes as he straightens up and looks right at Aiba. Aiba would do anything to have Jun at him like that on a regular basis - and it would be even hotter if they were both naked, he speculates.
"I -" Jun seems to fumble with his words. "Don't be too long," he says, threateningly, but the urgency is clear under his words.
"No problem," Aiba says, and he's happy, so happy. It's like butterflies are fluttering in his stomach, making his insides jump and twist.
Jun steps closer, and smiles, warm and wanting. "I'll be waiting," he says teasingly.
"Okay," Aiba says, the butterflies flapping violently inside him.
And he promptly throws up on Matsujun's towels.
Aiba/Jun | 嵐 RPS | PG-13 | ~12,500 words
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
One month later…
While the wedding ceremony itself was small and quiet, just family and close friends at a picturesque Shinto shrine, the reception party is a raucous and grand affair, full of Sho's wide network of friends, a ridiculous number of Olympic athletes, a crowd of senpai and kouhai, a few familiar staff from the company and large number of completely unfamiliar people that Aiba supposes are Kyoko's friends and family.
The large glass windows of the reception room face west, and the blood-orange glow of the sunset illuminates Nino's face as he sings a song that he had written specifically for this, had planned as a surprise with Kyoko behind Sho's back, and didn't even let Ohno hear it before the actual event.
"It was a Nino-thing," Ohno had whispered to Aiba, as the crowd had applauded in surprise when Nino appeared on stage, guitar in hand. "He really loves Sho, even if he shows it in stupid ways."
Nino's song is poignantly sweet and honest, and even Sho's best efforts at emotional stoicism crumble within minutes. Of course, they're all a mess after that. Jun is beside him, and Aiba finds himself gripping Jun's hand almost painfully, trying to control the flow of tears and snot without messing up his suit.
Nino is wearing his most adorable, smug grin as he walks back towards the table afterwards, "You liked it?" he asks Sho, who is being handed extra napkins by a fondly exasperated Kyoko.
"You're the absolute worst," Sho says thickly, his nose resembling a tomato. Nino understands him perfectly, getting close enough for Sho to grab him in a crushing hug.
It's a happy day.
Despite all of this, Aiba keeps watching Jun. It's - well, weddings, and all. Jun's hardly delicate, and he's clearly happy for Sho, just as all of them are. Aiba can't help but worry.
Jun catches him glancing over when Kyoko throws her bouquet. "What?" he asks.
Aiba smiles, but he can feel it fluttering at the edges, uncertain. "This is nice," he says, quiet enough that only Jun can hear. "You're happy, aren't you?"
The look that Jun gives him is exasperated, but strangely tender. "It sounds like you aren't sure if you are."
Aiba watches Sho dancing with his wife. Nino is sitting next to Ohno again at their table. They aren’t even touching, but there is a warm glow around them, although maybe only evident because Aiba knows what he's looking at.
"I wanted you to say yes," Aiba admits. He can't look at Jun now. He picks up a paper napkin, delicately shredding it and rolling the paper twists between his fingers. "Even it would have been a total mess. I know it's selfish, but…"
He can hear Jun exhale an unsteady breath. "You agreed, though - that it was a bad idea."
Aiba smiles weakly and steals a glance at Jun's face; the pity and warmth in Jun's eyes is almost too much to take. "I know. I really, really do, but -I just feel like - if we don't, if we don't know what might have happened."
Jun frowns. "This isn't some experiment." He puts down his glass of wine. "We talked already," he says, his voice quiet but firm. "It's done, and it's for the best."
He walks away, leaving Aiba alone at their table, surrounded by an army of half-deflated balloons and empty wineglasses.
Metaphors, Aiba thinks, really like to bite you in the butt.
He's trying to pop his fourth balloon when Nino sits down next to him, swatting away the balloon and handing him a beer.
"Fucking weddings," Nino says, commiserating. "Sometimes I think the married couple is the only happy people in the room. If even that."
"Love is stupid," Aiba grouches, licking some beer foam off his hand.
Nino pats him on the arm. "Really stupid. But you know what - " He leans in, as if about to impart an important secret. "So are you."
Nino ducks out of range, so Aiba's swipe barely misses his head. They're both laughing, though, and somehow, Aiba's tears start to leak out, too.
"You suck," Aiba says, and he knows he doesn't mean, but on some level, he does. Nino has Ohno, and it was easy for them. Well, not easy -, but - well…
"You're giving up too easily," Nino says, voice light, but suddenly serious. "J. - he's not the type to take risks, you know. He gets hurt."
"Everyone gets hurt." Aiba feels a warm weight against his back, and looks over his shoulder to find Ohno draped on him.
Nino rubs at his face. "I'm crap at these things," he says, seemingly talking more to himself than Aiba or Ohno.
"It takes time, Aiba-chan," Ohno says. "You need to show him that you're not going anywhere. That you want him to be there."
"It might take years," Nino says, his voice cracking slightly, and a look passes between him and Ohno that makes Aiba shiver.
"It might," Ohno says softly. "But if you want it -if you want him - you won't give up."
Aiba stares glumly into his beer. They're right - they're completely right, but he's never said those words to Nino before, and he knows better than to start now.
"And until then," Nino says, with the relief of someone who has successfully navigated a conversation about Our Awkward Male Emotions, "We get drunk as hell and hope for the best."
Now that was a plan Aiba could get into.
+
By the time the sky is completely black, and the candles gleaming gently around the dance floor are the only light in the room, Aiba is feeling reasonably more cheerful. Ohno and Nino had stuck by him for a few hours, and had significantly contributed to a growing collection of glasses, but they had wandered off to bother Sho. Aiba can't quite bring himself to leave the table; he's comfortable here, with his head pillowed on one arm, watching people sway slowly in the flickering lights.
It isn't just the alcohol; somewhere in his center, he's come to a decision, and the knowledge makes him feel more settled, somehow.
Jun appears suddenly in front of him, managing, through a feat of extreme eyebrow aerobics, to look concerned and irritated all at once. "Are you okay?" he asks, sitting down next to Aiba.
"Yup," Aiba makes a Herculean effort to pull himself upright in his chair. The room seems to move along with him, and he puts his hand on the table to steady himself. "Woah."
Jun sighs. "I'll give you a ride home. We should talk, but -"
"What?" Aiba is suddenly bolt upright, the room moving in interesting circles. "Let's talk. We can talk now."
The look he gets in response is withering. "We are not talking when you're sloshing with enough alcohol to fill three swimming pools."
"I'm not -" Aiba protests, but then realizes that it's probably futile. He couldn't walk a straight line now. Hell, he's not sure that standing up unattended in a good option, either. Still, he feels like he's missing a big chance here. "Will - will you still want to talk later? I mean, I can wait," he adds obediently.
Jun seems to soften. "Tell you what," he says, in the tone of a man resigned, "Come home with me. I don't think you're going to be any good left on your own in the morning."
"I promise not to puke on anything," Aiba promises fervently. He totters to his feet as Jun helps lift him by the elbow.
"I've heard that one before," Jun says wryly. "Let's go say good night to Sho before we go."
As they make their way across the room, Aiba is intensely grateful for Jun's solid grip on him. He feels like his insides have turned to soap, bubbly and slippery, and it feels like his feet will slide right off the floor if he stands on his own. The candles scattered all around are beautiful, but, Aiba thinks, possibly not the best party-planning idea. He isn't the only unsteady-looking person floundering around the room, narrowly avoiding self-immolation by tea lights. With the amount of alcohol in his system, Aiba wonders, would he explode like a giant firework? The idea makes him giggle uncontrollably.
"Here's Sho-kun," Jun says when they reach a huddle of chairs in a corner of the room. Ohno looks even drunker than Aiba, and is crooning something softly under his breath. Nino has forsaken all chairs for the comfort of Sho's lap, who is beaming and stroking Nino's hair. There couldn't be a happier man on Earth.
"Sho-chan!" Aiba says, pitching forward, and nearly squashing Nino, if not for Jun catching him at the last minute. "Sho-chan, congratulations! Matsujun is taking me home."
"Are you congratulating me for that?" Sho asks, looking bemused.
Nino smirks up from his perch around Sho's knees. "Taking advantage of our Aiba-chan in this state?" he sing-songs. "What a bad man, J."
"Shut up, Kazunari," Jun says amiably, patting Nino on the head.
Sho hugs Aiba tightly around the neck. "I love you guys so much," he says cheerfully.
Aiba happily tangles himself in Sho's solid, slightly sweaty warmth. "Me too! Have a great honeymoon."
"Which you are not starting for another three hours," Nino informs them, shifting possessively in Sho's lap, uncomfortably squished in the midst of all the hugging.
"Nino is having separation issues," Ohno hiccups.
Sho lets go of Aiba. "I'll be back in five days," he promises, speaking to Nino, but with a clear undercurrent of reassurance aimed at all of them.
"Anyways," Jun says, "We'll see you then." He resumes his firm grip on Aiba's arm, and starts dragging him in the direction of the parking lot.
It's pitch-black outside, and pretty chilly for September. Aiba shivers a little, the night air clearing his head a little. It's only now, walking away, that his emotions catch up to him, and by the time they slide into Jun's car, there are tears streaming out of his eyes.
Jun looks alarmed for an instant, but digs up a box of tissues and tosses it at Aiba.
"You're such a mess," he says gruffly, though his own voice sounds a bit thick.
"I can't help it," Aiba hiccoughs, the tears streaming faster now. "It's - Sho-chan is so happy, and I'm so happy..."
"That would explain the sobbing," Jun's voice is dryly amused, but he's starting to look a little wet-eyed himself. He gives Aiba a comforting pat on the leg as he eases his car out of the parking spot and towards the exit. "Let's get you to bed."
The roads are quiet this late at night, and Aiba's tears slow and fade, the heave of his heart settling. He feels better, somehow. Everything feels good. Even with nothing decided, just having Jun here by him - no one else could understand this. No one else would know what he needs.
He's not willing to settle for less anymore.
+
Jun's apartment is cold, but cleaner than Aiba remembers. He sits meekly on a kitchen stool while Jun pours him a glass of water. He hadn't realize how thirsty he was until he started drinking, but it's gone in less than a minute, and he hands the glass back, licking his moistened lips.
"More?" Jun says, and then, "Good." He fills the glass again, and sits at the stool opposite Aiba. He looks old, Aiba thinks, or maybe just tired. The lines on his face are more visible in the stark kitchen light, furrowed between his eyes, stretched tight around his mouth.
"Thank you," Aiba says. He fidgets with the empty glass. "Jun - I'm sorry. I've been a total ass. Even so, you -"
Jun raps him on the knuckles, then covers his hand with his own. "I'm not interested in your speeches," he says. He pauses, seeming to struggle with something in himself.
"Come to bed," he says finally. "Let's go to bed," he adds, as if he's worried he's not making himself clear enough.
Aiba feels his mouth drop open in shock, and quickly closes it.
"I thought you wanted to wait and talk…" he begins cautiously. Aiba wants to make sure - he wants to do this right - but he doesn't really want Jun to think twice about what he just said.
"We will," Jun says. "But I -" He looks down at the counter. "You said you've been an ass, and maybe - maybe, but at least you've been honest. I was too scared to even think - all I wanted to do was push you away." He looks squarely at Aiba. "I thought it would be better that way."
Aiba can feel Jun's hand shaking, and he curls their fingers together. "It wouldn't be," he whispers.
"No," Jun agrees. He strokes his thumb gently over Aiba's knuckles. "You're right. There's no point in turning back now."
Aiba's heart swells with happiness. "So, we…?"
Jun smiles, extracting his hand from Aiba and standing up from his stool. "Later. I'm tired, and you're barely making sense."
"Bed," Aiba breathes, scooting off his own stool. The world is still giddy and tilting under him.
"Shower," Jun corrects him, steering him forward. "You stink."
Aiba is impatient with delight, eager to be tucked into Jun's warm, soft sheets, to snuggle unabashedly into Jun's solid heat and just sleep. He's a patient man, though, and he submissively watches Jun putter around gather towels, an extra toothbrush, some pyjama pants - and tries to control the rising urgency he can feel bubble up inside him.
"Jun?" he says, while Jun is trying to give Aiba what a tour of his shampoo collection that He Must Not Touch. "I love you."
They hadn't said it yet, and maybe it isn't the best timing - Jun half-bent over the tub, Aiba clutching an armful of fluffy towels. Still, it's worth it for the sharp, wanting look Jun's eyes as he straightens up and looks right at Aiba. Aiba would do anything to have Jun at him like that on a regular basis - and it would be even hotter if they were both naked, he speculates.
"I -" Jun seems to fumble with his words. "Don't be too long," he says, threateningly, but the urgency is clear under his words.
"No problem," Aiba says, and he's happy, so happy. It's like butterflies are fluttering in his stomach, making his insides jump and twist.
Jun steps closer, and smiles, warm and wanting. "I'll be waiting," he says teasingly.
"Okay," Aiba says, the butterflies flapping violently inside him.
And he promptly throws up on Matsujun's towels.