this summer is def one for the books. there were things that i never thought would happen that happened, things i never wanted to do that i did, things i never got a chance to do. i dont regret one bit of it. it was summer of me. i did what i wanted. i made my own decisions. i for the first time in a long time didnt hold myself back. im getting ( Read more... )

as i sit here i wish or i should say i should be getting ready to go to monday night at skinflints but it seems that NO ONE wants to come out and that bugs me because i feel like i have no friends. which isnt true but still ( Read more... )

i feel like my life is on a downward spiral or something. i am stressing out over everything it seems.. i am going back to a part of my life i didnt want to go back to. i am getting nervous all the time again & my stomachs been starting to hurt. thinking about that only makes me stress out even more and i hate it . i asked brian to formal because i ( Read more... )

i went on my so called "date" with brian last night. it was good. it was weird. but not weird in a bad way. the last time we hung out - just the two of us, knowing sex was not on the agenda had to be way before we ever dated. we had a really nice dinner, nice conversation and everything. its just different, for a very very very long time we didnt ( Read more... )

school has started again and it is sucky. i want to go back to winter break. i mean i think this has been one of the best breaks ive had in a while. i went to vegas, snowboarding, after hours at peggys with my boys, football sundays at beanpost, ac and so much more. it was amazing to only work 2 days a week - i mean sometimes i wish i wasnt working ( Read more... )

i dont even know where to really start. i am in such a strange place in my life. i do not regret any of my actions or any of the conversations we had... i just wish you were different. i basically left the ball in your court but i know you and i know you will just leave it there. for what reasons? i am not 100% sure but i do know its because you ( Read more... )

school starts up soon and it is a weird feeling. usually i am dreading going back to school but i am looking forward to it this year. i think a lot of that has to do with the fact that i dont want to be at work anymore and im really not looking forward to the thursdays i am going to be having from now until december. i do intend to have off my ( Read more... )

so i havent actually sat here and wrote an entry in a long time. i used to religiously write in my old journals. they were some sort of escape for me.. or something along those lines. i dont know what to say about my life anymore. i used to have such complaints about a certian person and every single emotion that i had towards him. he literally ( Read more... )

so im corny. i googled my old & new screennames - to only come across an old journal i had. and WOW was i pathetic. i let brian get to me so many times. i used to beat myself up over it like every single time he got mad at me that it was my fault and only my fault. but it wasnt. it was us both - regardless of how it started.. it was the both of us ( Read more... )

just reading entries from a few months ago i see how much of a different place i was in. i seemed alot more depressed, angry, wanting to just not be here and thats honestly been the story of my life for a decent amount of time. today.. i dont feel that way. i want to be here - show the world what im all about. i want to make a difference somewhere ( Read more... )